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2024 ASL Summary
Drew Gallagher, 10/01/24 |
They say that
pitching wins pennants...or stockpiling Oakland A's
(RIP) for five years and these divergent strategies
yielded our first and second place teams for the 40th
season of the ASL. The Malignancies put together one of
the all-time great starting rotations to run away with
the league and the $1,143.00 top prize. Ken Squared got
the long-awaited performances from Lawrence Butler,
Mason Miller, and Brent Rooker that had them finish
safely in second place and $635.00. (I have to apologize
to the baseball gods for making fun of the Brent Rooker
trade when Ken Squared acquired him in 2023. I am
humbled.)
Dale traded a catcher who had 32 homers and 100 RBI for
a pick in the offseason but still managed to finish
third ($381). If the Weis Guys' season was a note in a
horse racing program it would fall under the "failed to
sustain bid" category. The squad raced to an
insurmountable lead in the first half, but ran out of
horses in the second half (sorry about the overuse of
metaphors but without the old email distribution list I
have to either type this on my phone or my company
computer which should be flagging the onroto web site
any minute). Eric cashes $254.00 and finishes in the
"kissing your sister" spot in the standings since the
Bombers get money and the number 1 pick...I think.
Bombers get $127.00 for their efforts. |
Of note, the team that
acquired the 32-homer and 100 RBI catcher for a pick
finished in 11th place, but the late season surge was
enough to move up to 11th place. Drewers' GM thought
this was important: "We have already evaluated the
rookies available in March of 2025 and we think this
draft class goes seven deep. We did not want to finish
last and miss out on one of those seven prospects. We
are excited to see what the youngsters can do in 2025
and hope to add to that stable of talent. We have five
of the top-10 prospects in the AL and are excited to see
how we can screw this team up."
Of Note--the curse of Aaron Judge continues. The
Question Marks may have cashed with Judge when he was
cheap, but since that time he has been a lodestone
pulling teams out of the money. See--Dodge Polaras 2024.
Of Note--The Chicken got two of the great fantasy
seasons from Bobby Witt, Jr. and Jarren Duran this
season and still could not cash. Proving yet again, that
pitching wins championships.
For those who cashed, congratulations! For the rest, let
the trading begin. |
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2023 ASL Summary
Drew Gallagher, 10/04/23 |
It remains to
be seen if 2023 will truly go down as one for the Birds,
but it does go down as one for the Yardbirds who waited
to win their first championship until the prize pool
(the largest in the 39-year history of the ASL) was
enough for them to pay attention. Some might argue that
Rick still wasn't paying attention when he traded away
Gunner Henderson in a pique of frustration earlier this
year, but there is still a flag that will fly above
Baltimore in 2023 and it remains to be seen if Gunner
will get a championship share (.199, 5 homers, 13 RBI in
146 at bats). Rick also jettisoned Michael A. Taylor who
went on to hit 21 home runs on the season. So congrats
to the Yardbirds and their $1,143.00 in winnings. He
still has J Rod and Gray Rod to build upon in 2024.
On the opposite end of the money spectrum were the Daley
Doubles who chose 2023 to finish fifth and miss out on
the number 1 pick in the spring. Dale cashed $127 but
did not cash Kyle Teel who is unlikley to fall to the
8th pick in the reserve draft.
The race for second place opened up after Shohei shut
down for the season and the Question Marks could only
limp to a fourth-place finish. $254 and a $72 DH for
2024.
I did not follow the final day movements in the
standings (9th place and an NFL slate will tend to do
that) but it appears that the Chicken and Bombers were
jousting up until the final game and ended in a tie
which means they will split the second and third place
money ($1,016.00--$508 each). Once upon a time we would
have decided the tie by determining which team won the
most categories and then they would be the second-place
winner. Well, that would have meant...they tied. They
each were better than the other in five categories. Glad
we don't have that coming down to a $250.00 coin flip. |
After the draft, the toy
box had the Slickers winning it all and had the Drewers
in second. Fuck you toy box! Hard to believe that Aaron
Judge, Mike Trout, Byron Buxton and Josh Donaldson could
not hold up for an entire season.
More to follow during the offseason from Matt on
possible draft location for our 40th anniversary.
You are now free to offer up players for Eric's first
round pick which is 7th overall. One before Dale.
I will try to get checks out in the next few days so
please email me your addresses and if you'd like a check
or Paypal deposit. That is of course if I don't get
fired for going to a fantasy baseball site on my work
computer because the email distribution list is no
longer a thing. (To the guy monitoring my IT usage
during the workday--I'm taking PTO while I type this
email and I swear Googling Kate Upton's Cat Daddy dance
was only because her husband had been traded.) |
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2022 ASL Summary
Drew Gallagher, 10/13/22 |
It's not as
though he didn't warn us about what was going to happen.
When you hear the theme music to JAWS you don't start
splashing around and swim deeper while opening new flesh
wounds on your extremities. When you see the call to the
bullpen and it's Zach Eflin who emerges you don't stop
drinking...you reach for the brown liquor. When a team
names itself BOHICA there should be an inherent
understanding that you grab your ankles and hope he uses
lube. Not sure he bothered with the lube when he made
Rick his jail wife in the Adley trade, but I'm sure Rick
will be getting a Christmas card from the Woodley family
and his new cornerstone catcher and BFF. Consensual
sodomy, however, is legal in the ASL so for his efforts
Dave cashes $1,138.50. (The pool of winnings was
$2,532.00 but I made it $2,530.00 for me having to do
math.)
Chris gets $160,022.50 for finishing second with quite
possibly the worst offense known to man. (And yes, that
figure is what came up on my phone calculator moments
ago.) It's actually $632.50.
Rick did not fall completely off the map and still has
J-Rod to build around along with a bevy of other Oriole
prospects that he has vowed to only trade for four
middle relievers next year. Rick gets $379.50.
The Chicken faces an offseason of "what ifs" after he
led for most of the season only to finish in the worst
spot of all...fourth. You don't get the first overall
pick and you're left to wonder how Rick beat you by half
a point after trading away the best players in baseball.
The Chicken gets $253.20 which he'll put toward hiring a
new trainer so Bobby Witt, Jr. can stay on the field.
(For those of you interested in ASL history--Kid Witt's
father was a mainstay in the Drewer rotation for many
years. That was before strikeouts counted but apparently
WHIP did count which I failed to factor into his 12-win
seasons. In fairness though, that was before I could
drink legally and I never went beyond Pre-Calculus in
high school.) One bright spot for the Chicken is that he
gets to watch Bobby Dalbec sign with a Japanese team
this offseason and feel like the lone sailor who got off
the Titanic in Ireland. And dammit, that door was big
enough for Kate and Leo! |
In the coveted Jackson
Holliday spot, we find the Question Marks winning
$126.50 but also the rights to the next Kid Rip. In the
last 72 hours of the season, I had overtaken Mark for
5th place but then Aroldis Chapman's infection cleared
up and the Yankees wanted to see if he could ever throw
a strike again for 10 batters in a row. The answer was a
resounding "NO" which led to the Yankees to having
Aroldis come north to throw mandatory batting practice
before the playoffs and he declined. He and Bobby Bombs
can sit next to each other on the flight to Hanshin.
As we head into the offseason (Go Phils...Go Steven
Kwans...Go Robbie Ray is a starter for a reason...Go
Padres less Eric Hosmer which is math that usually
translates to victory), head over to Draft Kings or
whichever preferred online wagering site you use to
further erode your marriage and put a couple of shekels
on next year's AL home run champion. It is as solid a
lock as Bobby Dalbec being left off the Red Sox 40-man
roster--Spencer Torkelson will be your 2023 AL home run
champion. How is this a certainty you might ask? It's
because I traded him to the Bombers. Any year the
Bombers finish out of the money the punishment is swift
and takes the form of prime Rob Deer. If only a few of
Josh Donaldson's home run trots in the second half would
have been actual home runs I too might be sipping the
sweet nectar of Yoo-Hoo and naming my next son Jackson
Holliday Gallagher. Of course that would require a
willing mistress and a lifestyle rarely afforded on a
claims adjuster's sala!
ry.
Dodge will update the rosters shortly and the trading
can begin promptly. I tried this last year and got no
takers--anyone interested in Jose Urquidy?
And those of you who cashed, please send your addresses
because my work computer was recently confiscated after
a bust at a local massage parlor. I assure you that your
addresses were not stored in a folder titled "Jiffy
Jerk" but just to be safe I did a double delete on the
folder so I'm sure all is good.
Drewer |
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The Reign of Terror
Continues
Drew Gallagher, 9/28/20 |
So I�m
admittedly sick of congratulating the Bombers and
sending him checks so I�m going to bemoan my second
place finish (he hit five homers on the last freakin�
day of the season) and find positive in the fact that we
were at least able to have a season in 2020�maybe the
worst overall year since the founding of the ASL in
1985. In poring over the 36 years of standings
(available at www.yourpalchrismal.com) I found an
interesting anomaly as it relates to my team. The
Drewers are the only team that has participated for all
36 years of the ASL and, subsequently, likely hold the
record for most last place finishes in the history of
the league. In short, I�m apparently not very good at
this but I did find that starting in 1990 it appears
that my team does cash in all years that end in a zero.
Starting in 1990 (second place finish to the Chicken), I
have cashed in 2000 (my lone championship�thank you Mark
McLemore for that steal on the final day of the season),
2010 and now 2020. This was really an encouraging
development and allows the organization to focus its
efforts on the 10-year plan with an eye toward 2030. So
trading Jared Kelenic, Austin Hays and Jeter Downs to
finish second doesn�t sting as much when one recognizes
that by 2030 there is a chance that all three of those
players will be out of baseball and would not have
contributed to our 10-year plan. In fact, some of the
cornerstones of that 2030 Drewer team are likely still
playing Little League!
One thing that the Bombers seem to excel at is taking
players I release and drafting them for cheaper salaries
and just in time for them to be good. He did this when I
released Hunter Dozier ($8 salary with me�5 with the
Bombers) last year and then did it again with Kyle Lewis
($11 salary with me�1 with Bombers) this year. I could
have kept Kyle Lewis except for the fact that I
preferred Josh James and his 5.52 ERA and WHIP of 1.705.
But give Mark Martin credit where credit is due�he spins
straw into Trevor Rosenthal and picks up Shane Bieber
with FAAB money. So a tip of the cap to the Bombers and,
when he�s not looking, a finger used to increase spin
rates on curveballs. |
I would like to take a
moment and thank Teoscar Hernandez for a tremendous
season and a nod to the Bohicas who sent him my way. I
guess I should have extended him, kind of like Chris and
Luke Voit. They�ll both probably be Bombers next season.
Looks like Bregman and Devers enter the draft for the
first time in years as well. The Chicken has a lot of
cheap keepers�I can visualize an in-person draft at
Trooper Thorn�s already!
If you have any questions for the Winter Survey please
send them to Matt. I have one but it�s more of a lets
all come together and allow this to happen. Some of you
may have read that Alex Gordon is retiring. Alex Gordon
probably gets consideration for Malignancies Mount
Rushmore. As long as no one is opposed to it, I say we
allow Chris to keep Alex Gordon at $9 (and he can extend
him if the likes) just so he does not have to part with
him. He would count against his salary cap and his
keepers but it would help a friend out.
Be safe my friends.
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End of Season #35
Drew Gallagher, 9/30/19 |
As you will
notice, I have combined the end of year missive for both
the ASL and ESL. To some degree out of laziness but to a
greater degree because writing about fantasy baseball
with the passing of my father so fresh is painful and
difficult. I do not want to minimize what The Bombers
and Rick achieved (well, I am getting a little sick of
the Bombers) but this year I�m going to forego the
customary season in review and share with you why
fantasy baseball is so connected to my father. (It is a
story that many of you have heard before so you can skip
it as you see fit.)
It had to be in February or March of 1985 that my Dad
came home from work and had a green book that he thought
I might be interested in. It was the original book of
rotisserie baseball that Drago had told him about. I was
sitting on my bed when Dad came into my room and gave me
the book. I sat there in my room for the rest of the
evening reading about this magical game of rotisserie
baseball. I already knew Drago because we had been
playing pickup football together for a few years and he
had asked my father if I might be interested in joining
a league that he was forming with a few friends from
college and a few colleagues from the paper. I do not
remember the entrance fee but I do know that my father
footed that entrance fee for the first few years of the
ASL. I was only 15 years old at that first draft
(younger than my son is now) so Dad drove me to the
draft at Drago�s apartment. No one knew exactly what to
expect from a rotisserie draft in 1985 and I do not know
if my father had intended to run into the newspaper
office to work while we drafted but someone recognized
that an auction draft needed an auctioneer and my father
filled that role on that day. It was a role he filled
for over 30 years. There was a lot of father-son bonding
that went on in those car rides to and from the draft
and they trigger a lot of fond memories for me. One
offshoot from memories with my father was going to a
Reading Phillies game with him and they were playing the
Canton-Akron Indians which had to be in 1982 or 1983.
The Indians had a stud shortstop named Pat Tabler and
after the game when Tabler was jogging off the field my
father called to him and asked him to sign a foul ball
he had caught during that game. I still have that
autographed ball and Pat Tabler cost me $1 in the first
rotisserie auction and was one of my few keepers for the
1986 team. (It took me a little while to catch onto the
nuances of fantasy baseball and some would argue,
convincingly, that I am still trying to catch onto the
nuances of it.) Fantasy baseball was magic to my 15-year
old world and a few months later I talked to some
friends in our neighborhood about it (Chris Malinowski,
Robbie Miller and Mike Capilo among them) and we decided
to form the Eternal Squabblers League at the all-star
break. Having two rotisserie leagues that have run for
35 years consecutively is, I think, pretty special and
unique. |
Many years ago, my father
joined the ESL and drafting against your father
presented a different dynamic to the draft. It�s hard to
swear at the man who gave you life just because he
outbid you for Brandon Nimmo when his wife is a staunch
Mets fan. We have drafted the ESL at my parents� house
for over 30 years and it is going to be difficult to
walk in next spring and not have my Dad there and not
have him drafting against me. I think we had hoped that
one day my son too would join the league and we�d have
three generations of Gallagher competing against one
another. My father finished 9th in the ESL this year and
I finished 10th. Somehow that seems fitting and
memorable to me.
My father was a huge Phillies fan and someone on local
TV joked that Dad had been sick for a little while (they
termed it �out on assignment�) but what may have finally
killed him was this Phillies season. When I was a
substitute batboy for the Reading Phillies my Dad had
the Eagle photographer take a picture of me outside the
dugout when Reading was playing the big club. Mike
Schmidt is stretching in the background of the photo and
years later Drago had Schmidt sign the photo for me. It
is still on my parents wall at home.
A number of you have reached out with your condolences
and I do appreciate that. Right now, fantasy baseball is
a bittersweet memory of the man who raised me, coached
me, and ultimately led me to fantasy baseball and the
dozens of friendships that have arisen out of playing
and the number that have been cemented and strengthened
through this silly little game.
Truthfully, I don�t know that I�ll get your checks to
you this week, but I promise that I will get them out
shortly and before Scott Winterburn would have paid you.
My father enjoyed seeing many of you even if it was only
once a year. He enjoyed the camaraderie and seeing a
room full of grown men participating in a game that was
born of the game of baseball that he so loved.
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Bombers Win...Again
Drew Gallagher,
10/01/18 |
I was tempted to recycle
my season-ending summary from last year
since Mark and Mark finished one and two
in 2017 as they did this season. I am
also tempted to refer to the Bombers as
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch or
something more befitting a four-time
champion in the ASL. For those of you
playing at home, that�s four
championships in six seasons. There was
the one year �rebuild� and then a
third-place finish thrown in there just
to show some modesty. (We interrupt this
summary to reflect on the fact that if
anything ever happens to
www.yourpalchrismal.com we will lose 34
years of ASL history. Chris probably
should have kept hard copies of
calendars instead of a web site in case
any of us are called to testify before
Congress. And I know that about 34 years
ago I drafted Brook Jacoby and Pat
Tabler for $1 each. Did not sexually
assault anyone either.)
My brother is now a Ukrainian citizen so
I sent the prize money to him for
safekeeping (banks pay 10% interest on
savings accounts!). As soon as I get the
money and exchange the hryvnia for
dollars I�ll send out the checks to the
winners. Scott Winterburn has assured me
he can help should I run into any
problems with the currency exchange or
the Ukrainian banks collapsing because
they pay 10% interest on savings
accounts.
With consecutive second place finishes
by The Question Marks, it appears that
Benintendi and Judge are more valuable
than a solo Trout. Blake Snell doesn�t
hurt either. Props to Dodge for actually
giving something of value when the
Question Marks dumped a few years ago.
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By finishing fifth, Chris gets the number
one reserve pick. At the time, it appeared his trading
of Miguel Andujar might have been folly, but with
Andujar instead of, say, Alex Gordon, he might have
caught Dale for 4th place and not gotten the number one
pick. Savvy move. (And I recognize that I gave the
Bombers Eduardo Rodriguez for Steve Bedrosian�s son [who
shall never be anything more than Steve Bedrosian�s son]
who certainly helped the spurt for first, but at least
ERod remained true to form and was hurt for a
substantial portion of the season).
That�s all I have for now. If you do not plan on
returning for next season (our 35th) please let us know
sooner rather than later so we can replace you with
another owner who wins four out of six seasons. As we
did this year, we�ll try to work the draft in around
Dodge�s vacation schedule.
I believe that my keeper list for 2019 could be the
worst I�ve had since, well, since I had a $1 Brook
Jacoby and Pat Tabler. And I like beer. I like beer a
lot. And there were occasions in college when I drank
and woke up in vomit. Not my own vomit mind you, but you
can�t really dust for vomit can you? (Anyone who can
name the movie I just tried to shoehorn in there can
have Charlie Morton�if he signs in the NL.)
Death to holds, and long live Chris Bando and Ron
Karkovice! |
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33rd Season Is in the
Books
Drew Gallagher,
10/02/17 |
The
Altered States League moved to a 5x5,
created one of the dopiest categories
known to man (I�m looking at you
�holds), and is positioned to get rid of
the beloved and much maligned second
catcher position. None of this has
apparently fazed The Bombers as they won
another pennant and with quite a bit of
ease. It seems like a lifetime ago that
Dodge was within striking distance but
apparently the run at the leader took a
lot of juice out of Matt�s plucky band
of Oriole middle relievers as he limped
into a 4th place finish.
The
Question Marks finished second, their
highest finish ever, and apparently all
it took was getting rid of Mike Trout
who obviously had been holding his team
back for his five-year tenure with the
Marks and had no hardware to show for
it. Of course having Aaron Judge and
Andrew Benintendi fill the void appears
to have helped.
The
Yardbirds finished third and though it
is difficult to pin the final day switch
in standings on one player alone, I have
to believe that there will be a special
place in Rick�s heart for Blake Snell
from this point forward. Snell allowed
two hits (NO WALKS), no runs while
whiffing 13 Orioles who were obviously
trying to hit flights out of Baltimore
rather than fastballs. The WHIP category
was incredibly tight entering the final
day of the season and Zilla�s outing for
the Question Marks pretty much locked up
the second spot.
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The battle for 5th
place was interesting until Blake Snell turned into
Sandy Koufax and the Bohicas lived up to their team name
and anally raped me in the RBI category on the season�s
final day. The resulting tie for 6th place
will lead to a coin toss at some point to see if I get
the 2nd reserve pick (likely Willie Calhoun
because Jurickson Profar�s spot on my roster has to be
filled by someone) or if it goes to the Weis Guys.
I will try to get
(winning payments) mailed by Christmas. (Scott
Winterburn is supposed to pay me back any day now on an
investment he assured me would net 10% between April and
now. Just need the Pennsylvania penal system to grant
him early release.)
In case it was not
abundantly clear, I hate the holds and saves category
and would like to see the Chris Bando, Ron Karkovice
position stick around. But I suppose there are rules in
place to make certain we don�t change those on a whim.
Whimsical, however, is not always a bad thing.
If by chance anyone
has had enough of funding the Bombers� annual Christmas
shopping please let us know that you do not intend to
return for 2018. You�ll certainly be missed�kind of like
the holds category. |
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How Did the Bombers Not
Win?
Drew Gallagher,
10/03/16 |
Well, another
ASL season is in the books and once again proves the
adage: �That�s why they play the games.� With most
everyone conceding the title to The Bombers in January
(before he even stole Big Papi at the draft), it was
surprising (shocking?) that he did not go wire to wire.
In fact, The Tumors didn�t make any dump trades at the
deadline because he felt he could finish third or fourth
without dumping and there was no way he was catching The
Bombers. Well, pitching counts for half of the stats and
apparently The Bombers pitching disappeared over the
final few months of the season. Now Chris raising
another championship trophy is something we�ve all grown
accustomed to, but Dodge finishing in the money (let
alone second and ahead of The Bombers) continues to defy
logic. Hats off to Polaras yet again.
The debate continues as to if it�s better to finish 4th
or 5th given the number one overall pick. |
I will try to
get to the bank this week and mail the checks by the end
of the year�(Sorry, a little Scott Winteburn humor
there.)
And I�d like to take a moment to thank the Bohicas for
insisting that Yoan Moncada was untouchable. It meant
that we had to tamp down our trade a bit at the deadline
and through my own foolishness I almost got it hung up
on Joaquin Benoit. But the Bohicas persisted, and thus I
had to take the Moncada consolation prize�kid by the
name of Gary Sanchize. Guess he is worth $14 for 2017!
Please let us know if you do not intend to return for
2017 and let the trading begin. (And for whatever it�s
worth, I preferred the old 4x4 to the 5x5.) |
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Congratulations to The
Bombers
Drew Gallagher,
10/06/15 |
GMy wife often
asks me: �Which owners make up the Mount Rushmore of the
Altered States League and how are you so good in bed?�
(Of course my wife has never asked either of those
things, but there is a greater likelihood she�d ask
about the ASL than any bedroom prowess.)
Much like the career of Jim Kaat, my own inclusion in
any Mount Rushmore conversation would be based solely on
longevity, but as the only owner who has participated
for all 31 years of the ASL I would reserve a spot for
myself despite having won only one championship. (Aaaah,
but it was magic Mark McLemore! Magic.) And though the
Chicken took a few years off from the ASL, he is the
founding father and such a handsome man that it would be
folly to absent him from eternity. After that, the
dialogue becomes more interesting. I would be partial to
Our Pal Chris Mal and not just because of one magical
night we shared in a single bed in Plattsburgh, NY.
But there would be plenty of candidates and some of
those names would have to include the lovable Reading
Wretch (may he rest in peace) whose likeness etched into
a mountainside would instantly become one of the great
tourist destinations in the USA. (�Grand Canyon? Screw
you, Dad, we want to see the unfit bald guy with a beard
and a jersey that he can�t button.�) And one of my
personal favorites would have to be Matt Dodge because
he spins straw into gold just about every season with
rosters of seeming detritus and has actually published
articles on rotisserie baseball without his wife and
kids making fun of him. Plus he has made baby carrots
cool again. And many of you don�t know Steve Snyder, but
he was the master of the double-fisted bid and his
likeness would certainly be a welcome addition to any
mountain if it included his signature move set in stone
in perpetuity. |
Of course
there are many other worthy candidates and characters,
but one candidate who is quickly emerging is Mark Martin
with his second title in only three years of the ASL.
All talk of Mount Rushmore is premature at this point
for The Bombers (check back in another 31 years), but
with a roster seemingly loaded for the next few years
one has to wonder how many championships he can string
together. And based upon the recent results, the ASL was
far from a competitive league prior to the arrival of
Martin and Weis. Both are cashing checks like a
televangelical ministry. And now Bohicas, with fair
warning in his team name, is taking his part in the
conga line of money spots.
Checks will be mailed in the not too distant future (I
have to find my car title because apparently they will
give me money for it) so if you cashed please send me
your address. There will be a slight deduction from The
Bombers total since I gave him Betances in a �dump�
trade. Call it a finder�s fee!
Please let us (Matt, Chicken or myself) know if you do
not intend to return and we will weep openly. At this
point the Met-Ros need to return if for no other reason
than to create Billy Burns controversy at the draft for
the third year in a row. Now, at least, people actually
might know who the hell Billy Burns is.
Gentlemen, as always, it�s been real and it�s been fun.
Looking forward to 2016, but I have to say that holds is
a really dumb category. However, Brett Cecil and Junichi
Tazawa are available. |
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ASL - Year in Summary
Drew Gallagher,
10/03/13 |
Gentlemen:
The ASL started in 1985 and though some of archives were
lost in the Great Drago Apartment Dishwasher Flood, our
collective memories cannot recall a time when an owner
left 42 dollars on the draft board. As was well
documented at the draft and immediately after the draft,
Matt Dodge did that very thing this year�and he still
freaking won! I have described Matt�s keeper lists often
as a so much flotsam and jetsam and yet he continues to
confound and cash. So on bended knee, I offer up my
heartfelt congratulations and humility to that great
bespectacled Red Beard in the sky. The 2013 champion
will certainly go down in ASL lore and balladeers and
James Taylor will write songs about Jim Johnson.
Chris finished second (yawn) but what was really
interesting is that it was game 163 that gave him second
place. He and Dale were tied for second after game 162,
but with game 163 the Question Marks� Evan Longoria got
hot at the plate and the Question Marks passed Dale in
batting average and second place was Chris� alone. Dale
blames Perk for his third place finish and Perk was
quite comfortable with shouldering that blame.
Marty held off the Chicks for fourth, but most
importantly the Chick finished ahead of the Drewers. As
Michael has oft said, the measure of a season�s success
is in beating the Drewers and not necessarily in
finishing in the money. However, to quote the late,
great Mittl Infielders: �I like my team (for next
year)�. |
There are a
number of offseason decisions/votes to discuss including
the innings requirement and at some point Jamie will put
forth a survey for everyone to vote upon. In the
meantime, Perk has made it abundantly clear that he does
not intend to return for 2014 but will be there to help
run the draft (not draft Jamie�s team). I know Mark
Martin may have a potential owner to fill that spot but
if anyone else knows of anyone who might be interested
please let us know.
Enjoyed having both of the two new owners in the league
this year and Crush Davis turned out to be a Weis
first-round selection.
It�s always a fun time of year when my wife writes the
checks to the winners and she looks at me with her
poorly concealed contempt for losing yet again, but I�ll
tell you what I always tell her�Next Year is the Year of
the Drewer!
Hope everyone is well and thank you.
Drew Gallagher |
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Another Title in the
Works for the Question Marks?
Mike Drago, 3/18/13 |
According to
the Chickens' fearless annual pre-draft power-rating
formula, the Question Marks are favored to win the 2013
ASL championship.
The Chickens' Power Rating has correctly predicted the
past three ASL champions, targeting the Manny Ramirez's
in 2012, the Tumors in 2011 and the Questionmarks in
2010 (they tied with Toilets). |
Last season,
the CPR predicted that the Daley Doubles would finish
second . . . which they did.
In this year's rankings, the Drewers come in with the
second-highest CPR and the Polaras are at No. 3.
It should be noted, however, that the Drewers have
effectively been able to screw these things up in the
past. |
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New Owners and Draft Day
Drew Gallagher, 2/18/13 |
Gentlemen:
Through the magnetism of The Chicken and Mr. Dodge, we
have added three new owners to the ASL for this season
with them filling two vacancies (Perk and Metcalfe) as
well as our �12th� open slot so we are heading into our
29th year with a full 12-team league just in time for
the Astros. The new owners (in no particular order) are
Mark Martin (not the racecar driver, although truthfully
he could be and I�d be no closer to recognizing him),
Eric Weiser (team name almost has to be The Weis Men)
and a co-ownership of Denny and Bret who swear they will
fill the Orioles� void created by the departure of Mr.
Metcalfe.
We are in the process of setting up a dispersal draft
for the three new owners which is being cobbled together
from the rosters vacated by Perk and Metcalfe. Before
that draft has even occurred, all three teams have
better pitching staffs than most of the existing teams.
It is our sincere hope that we get the dispersal draft
concluded shortly so the new owners have a month or so
to move and shake down their rosters. The Doc Martins
have already announced Jurickson Profar Bobblehead day
at The Doc Yard.
With the return to 12 teams, rosters will be 23 players
with budget of $260. Makeup will be fourteen position
players and nine pitchers although we may reduce the
number of |
pitchers to
�1� for this season in a nod to Our Pal Chris Mal who
has asked if he can trade for passes during the draft.
The active offensive positions will be: 2 catchers (Rick
wanted to add a 3rd, but I told him we could vote on
that in the offseason), DH, 1B, 2B, SS, 3B, INF, WC, 5
OFs.
You can keep up to 13 players and five rookies when we
freeze rosters on March 16. Please have your freeze
lists in by noon on the 16th. Rick submitted his the day
after the World Series�
Draft day will be on March 23rd at 10 a.m. at The Third
Rail in Blandon, PA. For the new guys, we usually order
lunch at some point during the proceedings and throw in
a few shekels for the use of the room on top of our tab.
The Third Rail is the Blandon equivalent of the Waldorf
Astoria but without the ice sculptures for brunch. The
owner is a very nice guy and very gracious in offering
up his watering hole for our use (yeah, there was
probably a better way of phrasing that).
As always, I�m looking forward to this season which has
already been dubbed the Year of The Drewer in all
promotional literature we have sent out to season ticket
holders. Of course, that pronouncement was made in
anticipation of the Indians trading Chris Perez to open
up the closer role for My Cousin Vinnie, but there is
still time. |
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ASL Recap
Drew Gallagher,
10/30/11 |
Gentlemen:
With major league baseball graciously moving up the end
of the regular season, we may have to change Chris�
moniker to Mr. September after yet another ASL title.
This is Chris� fifth ASL title which leaves him only two
behind The Chicken for all-time ASL supremacy in the
27-year history of the league (Editor�s note: Neither
Chris nor Michael have been in the league for all 27
years. That distinction lies with me alone. My wife is
so proud.) It�s amazing what a healthy Jacoby Ellsbury
can do. And speaking of which, shouldn�t he be back in
the draft by now?
The race for the top spot was probably decided a few
weeks ago but the race for second place went down to the
final few days and the race for fifth place lit erally
went down to the last few innings. As late as 10:30 p.m.
on Wednesday night, Scott Metcalfe was clinging to a
half point lead over Perk. But something happened on the
way to the Huskies� fifth place finish and dibs on the
number one overall pick. It appears that PBJ must�ve
nabbed a win in the closing moments of the 2011 season
and Jose Valverde�s scoreless ninth helped push Perk
just past Dale in ERA (which also helped solidify
�Whoever drafted for Jamie this Season� in second
place). That, my friends, was a 1.5 point swing and
landed Perk a money spot and the rights to trade the
number one pick to someone for a keeper. Looking at his
roster, it appears that any keeper will do. At least the
Huskies still have Joe Bat in the fold for one more
season to pair with Justin Verlander.
Although we no longer vote for postseason awards (we act
ually did once upon a time and it was kind of fun), GM
of the Year has to go to Matt Dodge for steering that
collection of flotsam to a fourth place finish. Year in
and year out I look at Matt�s roster in the offseason
and find myself unimpressed. Year in and year out I look
at his team after the draft and am still not impressed.
When my wife cuts him a check every October I am duly
impressed. So congratulations to Matt on another
improbable finish in the green. |
In our
National League, we once collectively showed our outrage
at one J.D. Drew and his spurning of the Phillies by
banning him from the draft for two years. Seriously,
we�re petty that way. And in a similarly punitive
gesture that I am not putting to a league vote, all
references to or owning of Robert Andino are outlawed in
the ASL from this day forward.
On a serious note, I wanted to offer up a thank you to
Paul Rosa for hanging with us this season. Paul went
through a year that I wouldn�t wish upon anyone and I
hope that everyone�s health is improved going forward.
(In a Virginia Tech sidebar: I like Clemson getting 7 on
Saturday.)
We will be looking forward to a possible draft date for
2012 after we check with Jamie�s wife to make certain it
fits her schedule and Jamie can attend a draft instead
of bringing forth these ringers that somehow bid $45 on
Howie Kendrick and it still works out. Major League
Baseball is going to begin the season earlier in March
with a series in Japan that might garner as many TV
ratings as a Tampa Bay v. Arizona World Series.
I certainly hope everyone intends to return for next
season and I wou ld only ask that if you have other
plans please let us know. And in that vein, Jamie just
told me he has a conflict with our draft date for 2012.
Caps, you�re on the clock!
Thanks to everyone for another great season. The
Yardbirds are currently fielding offers for Eric Hosmer.
Apparently the opening bid must include 20 virgins or at
least a hooker that has not yet appeared on Cops. |
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Season's End
Drew Gallagher,
10/05/10 |
Gentlemen:
For the first time in the 26-year history of the ASL we
had a tie atop the standings. The Question Marks and The
Toilets finished in a dead heat and each led in four
categories so we combined the prize money for first and
second and had them split it. We will continue to do it
this way going forward because it sucks when the payout
difference is $450.00 between first and second. Thanks
to Dodge landing us a new stat service the winner
received $1,012.50. That�s easily the highest payout in
the history of the ASL and other than some minor
glitches throughout the season (and the live standings
on the final day) the stat service was passable. It�s
not AllStar Stats but it�s more money in Rick�s pocket
and that�s all anyone really cares about. We�ve had two
races decided by one point previously (1997 and 2000)
but never a tie for first.
With Mark and Jamie as co-champions that gives the ASL
15 different winners in its 26-year history. Drew Wine
still remains the most unlikely winner in the history of
the ASL.
Jamie�s championship sets an unusual streak of two years
in a row of the winning owner not being present at the
draft. Who would�ve ever guessed that Howie Kendrick
would play more games than Dustin Pedroia?
After the deadlock at the top, The Yardbirds finished
third for his highest finish ever and I was next in the
kissing one�s sister spot. Chris finished 5th and lands
the overall number 1 pick in the supplemental draft.
Dale finished last despite the fact that Perk�s entire
roster finished the season on the DL.
This year was the year of the trade for a player and
have them get injured. Jamie trades Soria for Magglio
Ordonez and Ordonez goes down for the season. I trade
for Jake Peavy and two starts later he�s shut down for
the season which helped him fit right in with team DL
Drewer. And I�m going to take this opportunity to cry
and bitch over spilt milk.
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Players on the
DL at some point in 2010: Carlos Pena, Curtis
Granderson, Kurt Suzuki, Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis,
Tommy Hunter, Cliff Lee, Jose Valverde, Joel Zumaya,
Koji Ueharra, Jake Peavy.
I understand that injuries are part of the game and I
recognize that Perk was devastated by injuries and The
Chicken lost Grady Sizemore and Chris lost Jacoby
Ellsbury and Rick lost Justin Morneau etc. etc. but the
above players missed significant time and it�s a damned
All-Star team. I also whine and moan because the
cupboard is bare and it�s going to be a few years until
I return to any sort of contention status based upon the
projected keepers for 2011! Not a good cornerstone for
the franchise when said cornerstone may be the Red Sox
fifth outfielder coming out of spring training.
And with that, let�s turn an eye toward next season. It
soon becomes apparent that there is no emerging
juggernaut in the 2011 keeper lists. Of course, $1
closers will emerge as spring progresses but a lot of
contracts are coming off of the books. Metcalfe has Jose
Bautista for a mere $3 and Rajai Davis for $8. That�s a
pretty good start. P.J. has some nice young arms. Perk
has a ton of talent if they could just take up space in
box scores instead of in the trainer�s room. In short,
it�s anyone�s race (surprisingly). So let the offseason
maneuvering begin and let Rick mull over how much to
make Cano.
Anyone who has any issues for the winter survey please
send them to me or Jamie. We�ll need to address draft
weekend at some point since MLB wants to move up the
start time this year. Draft day seems like only
yesterday when the season held such promise and I was
looking for the nearest ATM at 11:30 at night�
Cliff Lee needs to sign in the AL and Manny needs to
sign in the NL. Jamie will be cleaning up the rosters in
a few days so Brandon Inge is coming soon to a draft
near you! I think pitchers and catchers report in like
130 days. Enjoy the playoffs.
Drew Gallagher |
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The Yankees Suck and
Other Notes from 2009
Drew Gallagher,
11/05/09 |
Gentlemen,
We just finished up our 25th season of the Altered
States League and in a quarter century of playing this
ridiculous (and entertaining) game I don�t know that
I�ve ever seen a more unlikely team capture the crown
than the 2009 Dodge Polaras squad. Seriously, look over
that roster and tell me how he did it. But ultimately
the question is moot because he did do it so
congratulations to Matt on his first ASL crown! It could
not have happened to a nicer guy. Also, kudos to
substitute draftman Danny O for picking up such nuggets
as $1 Ben Zobrist on draft day to point the Polaras in
the right direction. (Trivia question: Which owner threw
Zobrist back into the draft? Hint: He jumped off a
building and broke his leg soon thereafter.)
Not to diminish Matt�s accomplishment but
congratulations are also due to The Chicken for turning
around that moribund squad he inherited in two years to
take second place. I�ll go out on a limb and argue that
Winterburn never would�ve had that team in
contention�ever. In the win now era of sports, the
pressure is on the Three-Headed Owner to try to turn
Stu�s team around by October of 2010. Otherwise heads
will roll. Which might be a good thing because then
we�ll actually know which of the three owners to contact
for trades.
The Question Marks cashed for a second year in a row
(don�t tell his wife) and have a nice core of young
players returning for 2010 or, as Mark refers to it, the
last year with lovechild Nick Markakis under contract
for less than $50.
Jamie kissed his sister by finishing fourth and one spot
ahead of the 1st reserve pick but at least he got money
instead of the second overall pick which I�m certain
I�ll turn into Warner Madrigal. Dale somehow managed to
make up a 13-point deficit over the last couple of weeks
to claim the coveted number one overall draft pick. He
has sent playoff shares to Carlos Pena, Adam Jones and
Jose Guillen for bailing on the last month of the
Drewers� season.
In housekeeping matters, any questions or concerns you
have going into 2010 should be sent to Jamie so he can
include them in the winter survey. Please don�t be
alarmed if Jamie doesn�t respond to your e-mails
immediately, he�s probably procreating (again). At this
rate, Jamie may be the first owner ever to populate a
league exclusively with his own offspring. He could even
use the ASL and simply change it to the All Schlesinger
League.
I have glimpsed the potential keeper lists for 2010 and,
my friends, I would not recommend it without first
consulting your physician. It�s so bad that I won�t even
let me six-year old near the computer screen for fear he
might get nightmares. �Daddy, is Manny Delcarmen really
a keeper?� �Go to bed son. Santa comes in less than two
months.�
That being said, what fun would it be without some
preliminary predictions for 2010�
Pitching-wise no one can hold a flame to The Tumors who
return a $4 bullpen (Francisco is likely to get a
contract) with Bailey and Francisco. He also has AL CY
Young award winner to be Zach Greinke in the fold.
Offensively he has Ellsbury, Juan Rivera and Aaron Hill
so it looks like a money team. Probably the early
November favorite for the 2010 title provided he doesn�t
keep Carlos Gomez and Brett Gardner. |
The Question
Marks have a nice offense to build around Evan Longoria
(contract year? $25 easy) and 2010 is the last year
before I go for $50 Nick Markakis. Pitching is better
than most.
Perk has a decent start on offense with Kendry Morales
(look at his numbers, they are sick and probably worthy
of Roto MVP of 2009), Alex Gordon and Sin Soo Choo
(bless you) who leaves after 2010 to fulfill his Korean
military service (I�m not making that up). His pitching
sucks but that�s a recurring theme here.
The Chicks have a leg up on the rest of the league
(except Chris) by having Aardsma in the coop. I made a
trade this season where I threw in Nick Punto. Who
throws in a sub $5 closer? Two heads may be better than
one but I�ve got my doubts about three heads�
Our defending champion has Nelson Cruz and�.and�.a
winner�s check from 2009. Hope he can stretch it out for
a couple of years.
Yardbirds� owner Rick Franz was recently heard saying:
�A day without Gordon Beckham is like a day without
sunshine.� The fact that he has three or four $1
outfielders to go with Mr. Beckham makes it an
interesting squad for 2010. Morneau and Cano make it a
little more pricey but the offense is there. His
pitching sucks but I think you are all starting to get
the gist.
Marty said that he saw Mauer, ARod and Crawford all as
keepers. He�s got a pitching staff better than most so
maybe tying up nearly $120 in salary on the other three
won�t be so bad. But better than most means he has two
or three pitchers worth keeping.
Jamie has Soria and Verlander so another team with
pitching that goes two deep.
The Three-Headed Owner has Andrus and Adam Lind and
David Aardsma heading into 2010. Not a bad start and
better than the team Stu left him with, but then you
remember that he traded Aardsma and it all starts to
fall apart�
Is Rajai Davis for real? Scott hopes so. If LaPorta and
Butler produce as expected the offense has a nice start
to it.
And I just realized that I forgot to look at Dale�s
team. I know his team would look a lot better with
Zobrist and Cliff Lee but he does have the number 1 pick
in the reserve draft.
Projected Order for money spots as of 11/5/09:
1. The Drewers!
2. The Tumors
3. The Question Marks
4. (tie) The Yardbirds, Perk and The Chicks
It�s November and to quote the late, great John Mittl:
�I like my team!� (pitching be damned)
Congratulations again to Dodge. Bidding for Danny O�s
services at 2010�s draft begins at two pitchers of
Yuengling and an appetizer (if you can throw in a
leftfielder for the Sox all the better).
Happy Trading!
Drewer |
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New Owner
Drew Gallagher,
1/30/09 |
Gentlemen,
When an owner builds a team around one Carlos Gonzalez
and the cornerstone is traded to the Rockies in the
offseason well it's probably time to hang up the fantasy
baseball hat and try out other pursuits such as golf or,
as in this case, women. This is the path that Stu has
opted for in retiring Three Sheetz from The Wind from
the ASL. At his closing press conference, Stu informed
the huddled masses.
"Look, I enjoyed draft day and hanging out with the
other owners, but I enjoy having sex a whole lot more.
I'm not saying that I'll never be back because if this
is Mrs. Sheetz number three I know that the fountain
will run dry soon thereafter."
It was not easy replacing Stu (not only because no owner
has ever cherised Willie Bloomquist more than Stu but
because he quite possibly has the worst list of keepers
ever amassed) but one-time ASL owner Paul Rosa has
agreed to take the reins with a new co-owner Jack
Mitchell. Team name to be announced as soon as |
they come up
with one. This now means that there are eight shared
owners between the ASL and ESL. Paul once cut his teeth
in the ASL from 2000-2003 with a different co-owner but
wanted to be part of and a witness to Chris finally
having to draft some offensive players and a closer for
the first time in recent memory.
Paul is still trying to figure out how a team that
finished last with arguably six keepers only scores the
8th pick in the reserve draft but until that time he
said that he is open to all offers. I think his e-mail
information is already on the web site.
Draft day is April 4th at Tailgaters at 11 a.m. Rosters
are frozen at up to 13 keepers on March 28th by 11 a.m.
Pitchers and catchers report two weeks from tomorrow!
Thanks,
Drewer |
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One for The Thumb
Drew Gallagher, 10/01/08 |
Gentlemen,
Another season and another championship for the
Malignancies. Though The Chicken bestowed the honors on
Chris when he saw his initial roster, the season was not
without some drama after the "Jamie Rape" a few weeks
before the deadline. The Keppinger Fan Club leapt into
first place for a short while and actually made Chris
the Cubs of the ASL for a few weeks. But just like the
New York Yankees, when the regular season ends you know
Chris will be at the top. Well, except this year because
the Yankees are old and ARod is a selfish ass.
This is the fifth ASL title for Chris who still trails
the Chicken (7). (It pained me to type that.)
The Daley Doubles cruised to a second place finish based
mostly on trading an injured Adam Jones to the Drewers
without revealing the full extent of the injury. (In
short, he treated me like the Mariners with Erik Bedard.)
Dale celebrated his second place finish by jumping up
and down on a sofa like Tom Cruise. What Dale failed to
realize was that Tom Cruise has magic underwear that
protects him from injury and Dale, naked and wearing no
underwear (magic or otherwise), broke his leg in the
fall.
The Question Marks had to wait out two extra games to
hold off Fan Club for a third place finish. There are
many reasons to rejoice over Mark finishing third (he's
got four kids that he'll have to put through college one
day) but foremost is that Jamie finished fourth--the
kissing your sister spot in the standings. Yes, Jamie
cashed, but some would argue that Scott, finishing fifth
and getting the first overall pick in the reserve draft,
made out better. The gods of fantasy baseball intervened
to set the world straight after the "Jamie Rape". (Trade
update: Sean Rodriguez, who Jamie said was a guaranteed
stud for years to come, finished the season with a .204
batting average in 167 at bats. Projected over 500 at
bats, Sean Rodriguez will hit .204.) |
After
finishing 11th his first two years in the ASL, Scott
Metcalfe cashed for the second year in a row.
Matt Dodge just missed cashing for the third year in a
row which would've been one of the great feats of
all-time since he punted both the power categories and
not even the famed Pete DeCoursey tried that (at least
not on purpose).
The Chicken pieced together a roster of flotsam and made
an interesting run at the top five. He'll have the third
overall pick in the supplemental draft to show for it.
Rick finished eighth but gets fantasy MVP Carlos Quentin
back at $10 and has a $3 closer for 2009. Though neither
can hold a candle to Sean Rodriguez who played in 59
games and hit three homeruns. Projected over 150 games
that comes to eight homeruns. But he'll hit .204!
Any issues that you would like to include for the annual
survey please forward to Jamie. Payments for the money
spots will be mailed in the coming weeks. (As an aside,
can we begin to fathom what excuses our former
treasurer, Scott Winterburn, would've been throwing out
there in this economic climate?)
Provided Tailgaters doesn't become the 100th restaurant
to fail in Berks County in the coming months, we hope to
have our draft there again. Trading season is now open.
Go Sox! (The Chicken Sux.)
Drewer |
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The Return of the King
Drew Gallagher, 11/30/07 |
Gentlemen,
As the winter meetings approach, I wanted to make you
aware of one seismic change in the ASL landscape. The
Wine Drives, with one ASL championship in two years,
have been ceded to a man that makes Mark Cuban look
humble�a man who former Red Sox pitcher Dennis Boyd
dubbed the original Oil Can�a man who knows the "c" in
Gubicza is silent... The myth, the self-aggrandizing
legend, the founding father of the ASL�.The San Drago
Chicken himself, Mr. Mike Drago has returned (again).
For those of you unfamiliar with Michael and his
rotisserie prowess there is a Wikipedia entry. He was
gracious enough to help us out at last year's draft and
cover for the Daley Doubles. He was thrust into the
middle of Silvagate and was not appeased until an
official fatwa was rendered. (Said fatwa resulted in
Silva being traded by the Perk N Beans to the Doubles
later in the season.) He founded the Altered States
League in 1985 with a bunch of reporters, deadbeat
friends and a 15-year old whose first draft was
highlighted by the drafting of Pat Tabler and Brook
Jacoby for $1 each. He is still a reporter for the
Reading Eagle, his friends are still deadbeats and Pat
Tabler remains the highlight of 23 years of ASL drafts
for said 15-year old. |
When advised
of the new owner, Perk N Beans owner Jon Perkins issued
the following statement: "The guy's a toolbag but at
least he's not a little bitch like Dale. Can we kick
Dale out?"
In a totally unrelated move, The Drewers announced the
rehiring of Dick Drago as their new pitching coach.
Drewer Manager for life, Pat Tabler (see above), said
that the move had nothing to do with the return of The
San Drago Chicken and put it off as mere coincidence.
When reminded that Dick Drago seems to be rehired as the
pitching coach for The Drewers every time The Chicken
returns to the league he said it was nothing more than
coincidence. "Look, sometimes two great things go
together. Like chocolate and peanut butter. Pizza and
beer. Dick and Drago."
I personally am tickled to have Drago back in the fold
and have always maintained that the ASL without The
Chicken is like a day without sunshine or a Pete
DeCoursey car without a boot on the front tire.
Now please join me in hoping that Dan Haren gets traded
to the Mets.
Drewer |
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New ASL Owner
Drew Gallagher, 1/16/07 |
Gentlemen,
I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to disconnect
their e-mails before we announce the addition of Jamie
Schlesinger (aka Mini Mal) to the ASL. Jamie has
participated in the ESL for a few years and was
handpicked by Perk to fill the void created by the
departure of Scott Winterburn. Jamie brings a string of
unending e-mails and trade proposals without the benefit
of spell check. To describe Jamie as �active� would be
like describing Chris Elliott�s Oscar worthy performance
in �Cabin Boy� as average. Or comparing the excitement
level of draft day to a 12-year old cheerleading
competition. |
The one nice
thing about Jamie and his e-mails is that they require
no research on your part. The players he is trading to
you are sure Hall of Famers while all that he is asking
in return is a little kindness and a $5 King Felix with
a tired arm certain to breakdown by the end of April. Or
he�ll offer Scott Metcalfe a reserve pick for BoSox
closer Joel Pineiro forgetting that we all now have
access to RotoWorld.
A warm welcome to Jamie and my only request is that I be
courtesy copied on any trade offers between Jamie and
Matt Dodge.
Thanks,
Drewer |
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Thank You
Drew Wine, 10/05/06 |
I, too, would
like to Thank All of You responsible for the Wine Drives
success.
C-City B for undertaking fatherhood and deeming the ASL
too time consuming for his new life.
Drew Gallagher for inviting me to play and managing my
team in a deliberate attempt to somehow beat Chris.
Dale Scott for teaching me the rules that Gallagher
conveniently ignored.
Margaret Gallagher for coming up with the name Wine
Drives!
Chris, as fair minded commissioner, who constantly had
to make moves for me because of the weak Internet
service I employ. |
Mark Bennett
for the late night call to pick up Bobby Abreu. (music
in the background)
My MVP Derek Jeter plus teamates Jason Giambi and Vernon
Wells, . . . Johan (what can I say, I love you all!)
Scott Schoeneweiss with a win and Ben Broussard with a
steal when it only mattered to the Wine Drive's.
And finally, like the Boss, Steinbrenner, I had to write
the check. Now I get to cash one!
Perk, I'll see you in the celler next year! |
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The 2006 ASL Coronation
Drew Gallagher, 10/02/06 |
Gentlemen,
The season hath ended and after the warning track dust
has settled and the MRI machine used to examine
Francisco Liriano finally broke, The
Wine Drives were left atop the mound of injured and dead
(made up mostly of Perk's active roster) to claim the
ASL pennant in the team's first year of existence.
The Malignancies, as always, gave a spirited run at the
rookie but the quest fell about two shutout wins short.
The Daley Doubles prevailed in a tight race for third
place and outpaced the Polaras by one point.
Without checking the ASL annals, I believe that it may
have been the first money finish for Mr. Dodge. A
much-deserved honor. The rotting corpse that was the
season-end Drewers limped into the final money spot.
(Note to Scott Winterburn: I now have the first reserve
pick for 2007 so start mulling over the offers.)
Owner and general manager Drew Wine was ebullient in the
championship clubhouse after getting doused with Dom
Perignon by team MVP Derek Jeter.
"Can you believe that guy was tagging Mariah Carey?," he
asked before whipping a slimmed down Jason Giambi in the
ass with a towel.
But the biggest bare hugs were saved for closer Todd
Jones who single-handedly preserved The Wines tenuous
foothold in the saves category all year.
"The liberal media has blamed Bush for Iraq and also
stated that I was a puppet owner who merely took the
all-star squad that the C City B had assembled and just
didn't screw them up. Well, my answer to those
critics is two words: Todd Jones." |
"Greg drafted
that oft-injured no talent Octavio Dotel as his closer
and look where he finished last year. I recognized early
on the need for a high-end closer. Though I readily
admit I had no idea who Todd Jones
was when I drafted him, I knew that I wanted a fat guy
who made me look good naked. Certainly Matt Stairs fit
that bill but with TJ AND Stairs I look like an Adonis
when I get out of the clubhouse shower."
When asked why the owner showers with his players Mr.
Wine blamed the liberal media again. He further added
that the conservative media sees no problem with such
interaction between grown men and, in fact, seems to
have no problem with that same interaction between grown
men and teenage pages on the Hill.
So now we can turn our focus to 2007, the 23rd year of
the ASL! For any owners who do not wish to participate
in 2007 please let us know immediately so we can usher
in the next generation of first-year champions. The
Huskies, 3Sheetz, Yardbirds and Slickers have amassed
some nice keepers for 2007. Winterburn has his stable of
rookies and the lingering cancer that is ERod. Will they
finally part company this offseason? The Question Marks
nearly captured a money spot without gutting their
roster and The Malignances have said that they have
their deepest keeper list ever. As for the Polaras,
Doubles, Perk N Beans and the Drewers? Seasons are not
built or won on October potential. The battle for 9th
places next September should be heated.
Trading season is open!
Drewer |
|
| |
| |
|
2006 ASL Draft Day
Year #22
Saturday, April 1st, 2006, 11AM
at Tailgaters Steakhouse |
* Last year Marty called just as the draft was set to begin
and said he wasn't going to
make it. Then 15 minutes later was on his way.
He arrived an hour into the draft, but somehow still managed
to win the league. This year he got lost on the way,
and called multiple times to say he was just about there.
He arrived 90 minutes late, and immediately picked up Shawn
Chacon $14, Carl Everett $11, and Shannon Stewart $14.
Can he pull it off again?!!?!
* This was a first-time Rotisserie experience for Drew Wine
who replaced Greg Ciambruschini. Drew's first ever
purchase was a $41 Gary Sheffield. It looks like he
got a steal in a $1 Lance Nix - the day of the draft the
Rangers traded David Dellucci to the Phillies opening a
starting CF slot for Nix. On the flip-side he also
drafted a $28 Todd Jones who was placed on the DL the night
of the draft. Welcome to Fantasy Baseball.
* Looks like another lost cause of a year for me, not helped
by Jason Bartlett getting sent down just before the draft.
I replaced him and Brandon McCarthy ($5) with rookie Kendry
Morales who hadn't been sent down yet, and Dustin Pedroia
who was going to extend spring camp. Ugh.
Nothing like starting the year with two dead spots. To
pour salt on the wound, at the end of the draft I had $8 to
spend and forgot about McCarthy. I wound up taking Ted
Lilly. Lilly is now out with a bad back, and McCarthy
picked up the W in the first MLB game of the year Sunday
night. |
* Scott W kept A-Rod ($48) and Manny Ramirez for the second
year in a row. To top it off, he actually extended
Manny's contract by a year, taking him from $41 to $46.
* Jon Perkins drafted the most expensive offensive player and
pitcher - Vladimir Guerrero ($50) and Mariano Rivera
($41). (He also paid $42 for Hideki Matsui.)
* Draft day prices seemed even crazier than usual: $28
Milton Bradley (Perk), $37 Curt Schilling (Scott M), $38
Torii Hunter (Scott M), $30 Kevin Mench (Mark), $27 Raul
Ibanez (Matt), $26 Mark Loretta (Matt), $35 Brad Wilkerson
(Drew), $38 Melvin Mora (Stu), $35 Aubry Huff (Stu), $27
Javy Lopez (Dale)???????!!!
* Stu's pitching staff costs a grand total of $38 and half
of that is a $19 Eddie Guardado.
* The first players taken in the reserve draft were
Brandon Wood (Rick), Andy Marte (Scott W), Alex Gordon (me),
B.J.Upton ($10, Drew), Howie Kendrick (Matt) and Craig
Hansen (Mark). |
|
| |
A.P. PRESS RELEASE
by Drew Gallagher, 12/16/05
FREDERICKSBURG, VA - It is with great regret that I
announce the resignation of Greg Ciambruschini from the
ASL. Apparently the Coco Crisp for Sammy Sosa trade did
not go over well in the household and he felt a need to
extricate himself from any other fantasy baseball
entanglements. The man is not easily replaced but
fortunately the proud franchise is being turned over to
the man that Greg probably would've handpicked himself
had Carrie allowed him to make any more decisions. Drew
Wine, a name familiar to many of those in the league,
has consented to take over a franchise that is now saved
from Washington Nationals-like limbo.
Star outfielder Vernon Wells was thrilled by the
announcement: "I hear the guy thinks Robinson Cano is a
book by Robert Louis Stevenson, but we're just happy to
have some leadership in the front office. I heard the
Daley Doubles took him out to lunch this afternoon to
celebrate the announcement. I just hope Johann Santana
is still on the squad by later this afternoon."
Though Mr. Wine has not announced a team name, initial
reports indicate that a Hokie will figure prominently in
the logo.
In other league news, we are still planning on drafting
in Baltimore again this year. I believe that Scott's
mom's house can be a fall back option (Scott, correct me
if I am wrong there) but we would like to see if there
is a room or restaurant available so as not to impose on
Scott's mom. Since we won't be dropping cash on the
lovely erasable boards this season we could probably pay
a nominal fee for the use of a room. Any ideas are
certainly welcome.
And, the Yankees $1 starting centerfielder is available
for the right price. The line starts behind Matt Dodge.
Thanks for your time.
Drewer |
|
| |
Year in Review
Drew Gallagher, 10/04/05 |
Gentlemen,
As Matt Dodge touched upon, we may have seen the dawning
of a new era in drafting. Marty's strategy of not just
waiting, but not showing up, until the draft was three
quarters ended looks like pure genius. I only hope that
the book tour for "MartyBall" next spring does not
conflict with our draft date. Congratulations to the
Slickers on their first ASL pennant!
On a drafting note, Mr. Malinowski wanted to duly warn
the rest of the league that he will be spending his
money very early next year. Quote: "You can tell those
bastards that I'm going to be spending early and often.
None of this waiting to the end bullshit. All my money
will be gone by the time Marty shows up next year." (I
guess that's not a quote but maybe more of a
paraphrase.)
There was a substantial turnover in the ASL heading into
2005 and three of the four new owners were able to cash.
(And the one who did not cash had major surgery soon
after the All-Star break so his attention was
understandably elsewhere. Probably a good thing now that
he has Nick Swisher back in tow for 2006.) So
congratulations to Greg, Stu and Rick. For those
of you playing at home, Stu and Rick had never
participated in a fantasy baseball league prior to 2005
and Stu had 72 hours to familiarize himself with his
roster and how to draft. Makes those of us who have been
members for 21 years and accustomed to finishing eighth
feel really good about our lives. If the geographic
makeup of the league remains as it is we will again be
looking to draft in Baltimore next year as long as
everyone is agreeable to same. We would like to find a
space/sports bar to host the event so Greg and Scott can
toss out ideas when the time draws near.
And congratulations to Dale on his highest ASL finish
ever. Despite the burden of the Perkins Prediction of an
ASL title the squad still made things interesting for
the Slickers when September opened. |
On the money
front, Chris is going to get the payment breakdowns to
Scott in the next few days and then Scott will be
issuing checks in the very near future. If anyone has
unresolved debt (I don't think that applies) please take
care of that immediately. And if anyone does not think
they will be returning in 2006 please let us know as
soon as possible so we can find a new owner. I've
received a phone call from one Jonathan Finglass
inquiring as to if there were any openings...
Chris will be sending out the winter surveys in a few
months for your careful consideration.
Early prediction for 2006: Winterburn's squad is loaded.
Early prediction II for 2006: Sammy Sosa will not be a
Charm City Bandit. Early prediction for 2007: Sammy Sosa
will not be a Charm City Bandit
I've got tons of mediocre starting pitching at
reasonable prices so I'm willing to entertain any
offers. Even my big Wang is available. (You didn't
expect a final e-mail without a reference to Chien Ming
did you?) The constant references to my big Wang do
remind of Dale Scott's favorite King Missle song,
"Detachable Penis". He'll burn you a copy if you like.
Thanks to all for their participation. I enjoyed it. And
remember...Chone Figgins is a veritable god unless he
meets up with the Sox in the ALCS--then he's Bret
Barberie for a series.
Drewer
Once and Future ASL Champion
Note to Chris, Greg and Dale--I was just kidding about
Finglass. |
|
| |
| |
|
2005 ASL Draft Day
Year #21
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005, Noon
at Scott Metcalfe's Mom's house |
* April 2nd was met with torrential downpours. Just
about everyone was late.
* Marty Slickers who was pulled over for an out-of-date
registration, and had his car towed away the night before on
his way to the ESL draft, as of noon said he wasn't going to
make it, and then 15 minutes later was on his way. He
arrived an hour into the draft and almost immediately picked
up a $30 Magglio Ordonez, a $27 Shannon Stewart, a $27 Mike
Mussina, and a $27 Matt Clement.
* Stu Sheetz was coming to the draft just to help and watch,
but wound up getting a team of his own when Gerry Orlando
bailed out on his at the last minute for the 3rd consecutive
year.
* It was also the first year for Greg Ciambruschini, Rick
Franz and Scott Metcalfe who were taking over for the
departed Mike Drago, Pete DeCoursey and Kori Walter.
Greg had previously played in the ASL in 1996 and 1997.
Scott Metcalfe had played in the ESL for the last two years.
It was a first time Rotisserie baseball experience for Rick. |
* I had over $100 left on the board while most of the league
was down around $25. I thought I knew what I was
doing, but after being forced to go to $29 on Kevin Mench
and $20 on John Gibbons it became clear that I had made a
wee-bit of a mistake along the way.
* With A-Rod being kept by Scott W for $48, no offensive
player broke the $40 barrier. Eric Chavez (Dale) and
Adrian Beltre (Matt) both went for $39.
* The highest price for a pitcher was a $40 Randy Johnson
(Rick). Curt Schilling and Octavio Dotel were next at
$33.
* The first player taken in the reserve draft was Ross Gload
(Scott M). The first rookie taken was Dan Meyer with
the 3rd overall pick (Stu), followed by Derrick Barton
(Dale) and Eric Aybar (Mark).
* After the draft we all went to Applebee's to watch the
NCAA finals. |
|
| |
| Perk's
Power Rankings, 2/15/05 |
Welcome to the initial
installment of Perk�s Power Rankings for the ASL.
In an uncharacteristic effort at diplomacy, the
teams are not ranked 1 through 12 but rather in
little sub-groups. At least teams 2 through 11
are. So without further delay�
 DALE
WINS GROUP:
The Daley Doubles.
Only one team qualifies for this group because they
are head and shoulders above the rest of the
league. Perk�s comments: �LB (stands for little
bitch for those of you playing at home) is certain
to win the ASL this year unless he attends the
draft. We�ll see if he can capture a little of that
2001 magic.� (Editor�s note: 2001 was the only one
of Dale�s six years in the league that he finished
better than eighth.)
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING IN APRIL GROUP:
 The Question Marks.
They feature the best keeper in Francisco Cordero
and a bevy of youngsters. Perk�s comments: �If
Sammy Sosa can babysit the kiddies on his roster he
should finish in the money. Oh, and Mark, unlike
Dale, would benefit greatly from attending the
draft.�
The Malignancies.
Perk�s comments: �Chris would be poised for a title
run if not for Baldelli�s offseason WiffleBall
injury.�
The Drewers.
Perk�s comments: �Just type something about your
lovechild Chone Figgins.�
CUCKOO
FOR COCO CRISP GROUP:
The Charm City
Bandits. Greg�s squad defines this grouping
because they feature a bunch of solid keepers and
some players with the type of upside (see
aforementioned Coco Crisp) that could launch them
into the money slots. With a shorty on the way,
it�s time for a payday. Perk�s comments: �Obviously
Drew�s love for Greg got him the best of the
dispersal draft.�
Gerry�s Kids.
Solid keepers. You just wonder about which draft
strategy Scott will have to employ this season.
Perk�s comments: �This team would look a lot better
with Zach Greinke. We�ll draw straws to see who
drafts for Gerry this year.� (Gerry is secretly
hoping it is not Dale.)
|
Dodge Polaris.
Drago is gone but Mo Rivera is still a fine keeper on
someone else�s team for a change. Perk�s
 comments: �We
all voted for Matt�s daughter
as cheerleader so it�d be
nice if he returned the kindness on draft day.�
Seafood Rick.
Rick has never participated in an auction style draft
before. Oh, the horror. Perk�s comments: �Since he�s
the new guy we�ll take it easy on him in the pre-draft
comments but I�m certain he will provide us with plenty
of fuel for next year. Will Pudge�s 19 homeruns hold up
now that he�s off the juice?�
DREAMS OF DRAFT DAY BARGAINS GROUP:
The Slickers. Some
of the best keepers in the league (Big Papi!) but just
not enough of them unless he works some draft day magic
which he has been known to do in the past. Perk�s
comments: �Is he back from witness protection?�
The Rug Burns.
They had their fun last year but really need to be able
to only draft for one team this season and concentrate.
They need Sheffield this season. Perk�s comments:
�Maybe Scott should draft five teams this year since two
worked the magic last year and his team really sucks
this year.�
The Huskies. The
expansion draft did not give Scott much of a pitching
staff but the team is so much better than the corpse he
left behind in the ESL. Mark�s main competition for
Sosa. Perk�s comments: �I need to mention something
about Suzuki sucking or getting injured because I don�t
want him to keep him. I want him on my team.�
 DIPLOMACY
GROUP:
The Perk & Beans.
Unlike Jose Canseco, Perk recognizes that there may be
ramifications from a writing such as this so he�d like
to self-deprecate in hopes of being able to trade with
other teams this season. But, he added: �My team
pretty much does suck.� (Starting outfield of Reed
Johnson, B.J. Surhoff, Rondell White and Willie Harris
plugging the fourth hole. Need more be said? Yeah, how
about that number one starter Mark Hendrickson? All
players available at this time.)
|
|
| |
| |
| Drew's Letter to John
Hunt, 1/06/04 |
I do not know
if you guys are going to invite any laypeople to the
spring LABR draft, but wanted to offer up my self-serving
credentials. Actually, just wanted to share with
someone that 2004 will mark the 20th anniversaries of both
our Altered State League (AL only) and Eternal Squabblers
League (NL only). I'm certain there are a few leagues
that have already celebrated 20 years, but I was only 15
when the ASL began and my father had to drive me to the
draft since I didn't have a license.
Dad, not aware of the length of such an affair, was
employed as auctioneer about halfway through and he has
continued as auctioneer for almost every one of those 20
years. Of the 12 original owners, I was the youngest by
10 years when the league started and I am now the only
original member of the league that has participated for
all 20 years. (I have one championship to show for it but
let's skip that part.) I'd be willing to bet there aren't
many out there who have done this for 20 years with those
20 years making up more than half their lives. |
Never missed a
draft. Even through college when I would sometimes have to
take the train five hours to get back from college since I
didn't have a car at school.
After participating in the ASL draft in March of 1985, I
was so enamored with the concept that I got a group of my
friends together and we started our NL only league at the
all-star break of 1985. We had a half season (doing stats
by hand) and have continued with that league as well.
There are three of the original 10 owners who have
competed for all 20 years. Pretty impressive in my mind.
So I offer up to you, how many other rotisserie players
have been in two leagues for 20 years straight? Trust me,
this does not impress my wife.
Thanks for your time and I look forward to the fantasy
baseball column starting up again soon.
Drew Gallagher |
|
| |
|
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
Final
2000 Standings |
| |
Avg |
HR |
RBI |
SB |
W |
S |
ERA |
Ratio |
| 72 |
.277
5 |
241
10 |
945
9 |
142
11.5 |
70
4.5 |
76
12 |
4.42
10 |
1.38
10 |
Malignancies
Chris Malinowski |
71 |
.282
9 |
267
12 |
1051
12 |
141
10 |
81
7 |
37
4 |
4.47
9 |
1.45
8 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
67.5 |
.279
6 |
262
11 |
1023
11 |
91
7 |
82
8.5 |
4
2 |
4.38
11 |
1.36
11 |
Mystery Tramps
Gerry Kahle |
64 |
.283
10 |
182
2 |
933
7 |
122
9 |
87
10 |
65
10 |
4.73
7 |
1.43
9 |
Gerry's Kids
Gerry Orlando |
60 |
.280
7 |
212
7 |
938
8 |
142
11.5 |
82
8.5 |
61
8 |
5.02
5 |
1.50
5 |
Perkolators
Jon Perkins |
59 |
.286
12 |
206
6 |
882
4 |
68
2 |
97
12 |
62
9 |
4.71
8 |
1.49
6 |
K-9's
Kori Walter |
58.5 |
.281
8 |
204
5 |
895
6 |
73
5 |
70
4.5 |
47
6 |
4.11
12 |
1.35
12 |
Salary Caps
Mike Capilo |
52 |
.283
11 |
237
9 |
1002
10 |
119
8 |
54
2 |
49
7 |
5.34
3 |
1.58
2 |
Rosas from the Dirt
P.Rosa/R.Lombardi |
41 |
.275
4 |
201
4 |
885
5 |
84
6 |
72
6 |
6
3 |
5.01
6 |
1.47
7 |
Daley Doubles
Dale Scott |
40 |
.264
1 |
193
3 |
780
2 |
70
4 |
89
11 |
69
11 |
5.13
4 |
1.55
4 |
The Gonads
Ed Mazur |
24 |
.274
3 |
235
8 |
823
3 |
58
1 |
55
3 |
2
1 |
5.38
2 |
1.57
3 |
|
Rug Burns
Scott Winterburn |
15 |
.273
2 |
152
1 |
622
1 |
69
3 |
50
1 |
45
5 |
5.22
1 |
1.58
1 |
|
Malignancies
Chris Malinowski |
Final
1999
Standings |
| |
Avg |
HR |
RBI |
SB |
W |
S |
ERA |
Ratio |
| 88 |
.284
11 |
232
9 |
1007
11 |
159
12 |
88
11 |
59
11 |
4.24
11 |
1.35
12 |
Jonny Padres
Jonathan Finglass |
80.5 |
.288
12 |
275
12 |
1008
12 |
141
10 |
80
8.5 |
53
8 |
4.54
8 |
1.38
10 |
Rob Sox
Robert Schwartz |
80 |
.281
7 |
255
11 |
972
10 |
150
11 |
74
6 |
74
12 |
4.19
12 |
1.36
11 |
Rosas from the Dirt
Paul Rosa/R.Lombardi |
62 |
.279
6 |
235
10 |
967
9 |
100
5 |
95
12 |
55
10 |
4.88
4 |
1.47
6 |
Doctor K's
Nelson Kohn |
47 |
.278
5 |
223
8 |
919
8 |
91
3 |
71
5 |
46
5 |
4.86
5 |
1.46
8 |
Atomic Bombers
Tom Serpe |
47 |
.283
10 |
188
6 |
782
5 |
85
2 |
78
7 |
12
1 |
4.52
9 |
1.46
7 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
43 |
.261
1 |
178
4 |
683
2 |
94
4 |
63
4 |
54
9 |
4.37
10 |
1.42
9 |
Highway Robbers
Rob Webster |
41 |
.282
8 |
186
5 |
883
7 |
120
9 |
52
1 |
48
7 |
5.17
2 |
1.52
2 |
The Nickerbockers
John Nickerson |
40 |
.282
9 |
215
7 |
842
6 |
117
8 |
62
3 |
32
3 |
5.05
3 |
1.53
1 |
Daley Doubles
Dale Scott |
38 |
.269
3 |
173
2.5 |
761
3 |
105
6 |
80
8.5 |
42
4 |
4.70
6 |
1.48
5 |
Bern and Gerrys
Winterburn/Orlando |
38 |
.264
2 |
148
1 |
673
1 |
106
7 |
81
10 |
47
6 |
4.67
7 |
1.50
4 |
|
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney
|
19.5 |
.273
4 |
173
2.5 |
770
4 |
77
1 |
56
2 |
15
2 |
5.27
1 |
1.52
3 |
Final 1998 Stats and
Standings
| |
|
Avg |
HR |
RBI |
SB |
W |
S |
ERA |
Ratio |
Doctor K's
Nelson Kohn |
83 |
.283
10 |
243
10 |
964
8 |
161
12 |
79
8 |
73
11 |
3.64
12 |
1.34
12 |
Nickelbockers
Steve Nickel |
66.5 |
.284
11 |
245
11 |
1023
11 |
139
7 |
82
9.5 |
12
2 |
4.37
9 |
1.38
6 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
66 |
.275
7 |
237
9 |
1040
12 |
158
11 |
77
7 |
43
6 |
4.43
7 |
1.38
7 |
Jonny Padres
Jonathan Finglass |
63 |
.273
6 |
260
12 |
966
9 |
85
2 |
74
6 |
69
10 |
4.26
10 |
1.37
8 |
Charm City Bandits
Greg Ciambruschini |
59 |
.288
12 |
193
6 |
831
7 |
83
1 |
85
11 |
45
7 |
4.75
5 |
1.37
10 |
Morris Minors
D.Morris/A.Linker |
57.5 |
.270
4 |
202
7 |
770
6 |
144
8 |
82
9.5 |
65
8 |
4.44
6 |
1.37
9 |
Malignancies
Chris Malinowski |
53 |
.267
3 |
216
8 |
976
10 |
152
10 |
87
12 |
37
4 |
4.84
3 |
1.42
3 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
49 |
.276
9 |
145
2 |
632
2 |
146
9 |
58
2 |
83
12 |
4.39
8 |
1.41
5 |
Devil Jays
Jay Finglass |
43 |
.272
5 |
164
4 |
733
4 |
101
3 |
60
4 |
5
1 |
4.12
11 |
1.35
11 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
40 |
.276
8 |
183
5 |
754
5 |
119
4 |
52
1 |
66
9 |
4.78
4 |
1.41
4 |
Rosas from the Dirt
P.Rosa/R.Lombardi |
24 |
.262
1 |
161
3 |
634
3 |
138
6 |
59
3 |
42
5 |
4.87
2 |
1.47
1 |
|
Highway Robbers
Rob Webster
|
20 |
.264
2 |
118
1 |
607
1 |
122
5 |
71
5 |
31
3 |
4.97
1 |
1.47
2 |
Final 1997 Stats and
Standings
| |
|
Avg |
HR |
RBI |
SB |
W |
S |
ERA |
Ratio |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
78 |
.291
12 |
265
12 |
1016
12 |
130
9 |
62
4 |
79
12 |
4.25
7 |
1.36
10 |
Nickelbockers
Steve Nickel |
77 |
.281
11 |
217
9 |
913
10 |
80
1 |
89
12 |
63
10 |
3.70
12 |
1.30
12 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
74 |
.278
9 |
224
11 |
902
9 |
160
12 |
82
11 |
22
2 |
4.08
11 |
1.37
9 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
61.5 |
.271
7 |
199
8 |
871
8 |
116
8 |
69
7 |
47
8.5 |
4.20
9 |
1.40
6 |
Charm City Bandits
Greg Ciambruschini |
57 |
.263
3 |
223
10 |
914
11 |
137
11 |
78
9 |
43
6 |
4.63
3 |
1.42
4 |
Salary Caps
Mike Capilo |
57 |
.274
8 |
167
5 |
650
3 |
112
7 |
70
8 |
45
7 |
4.23
8 |
1.35
11 |
Re-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey |
50 |
.280
10 |
162
3 |
726
5 |
86
2 |
47
1 |
72
11 |
4.18
10 |
1.37
8 |
Kohn N Barbarians
Nelson Kohn |
48 |
.271
6 |
195
7 |
845
7 |
98
3 |
79
10 |
23
3 |
4.48
5 |
1.39
7 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
43 |
.266
4 |
183
6 |
689
4 |
100
4 |
68
5.5 |
47
8.5 |
4.28
6 |
1.41
5 |
Malignancies
Chris Malinowski |
34.5 |
.262
2 |
166
4 |
736
6 |
131
10 |
68
5.5 |
28
4 |
4.88
2 |
1.49
1 |
Jonny Padres
Jonathan Finglass |
23 |
.261
1 |
144
2 |
616
2 |
108
6 |
57
3 |
32
5 |
5.05
1 |
1.46
3 |
|
Jay & Americans
Jay Finglass
|
21 |
.270
5 |
131
1 |
586
1 |
103
5 |
50
2 |
15
1 |
4.54
4 |
1.48
2 |
Final 1996 Stats and
Standings
| |
|
Avg |
HR |
RBI |
SB |
W |
S |
ERA |
Ratio |
Reading Wretches
Pete DeCoursey |
83 |
.290
10 |
238
9 |
1103
12 |
107
7 |
81
10 |
69
12 |
4.55
11 |
1.37
12 |
Malignancies
Chris Malinowski |
75 |
.294
12 |
245
10 |
1052
11 |
132
10 |
95
11 |
61
10 |
4.66
8 |
1.49
3 |
Rob Sox
Robert Schwartz |
70 |
.293
11 |
256
12 |
1043
10 |
105
6 |
69
6 |
63
11 |
4.70
6 |
1.45
8 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
67 |
.275
5 |
212
6 |
884
7 |
112
8 |
101
12 |
53
7 |
4.53
12 |
1.42
10 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
66.5 |
.286
8 |
249
11 |
988
9 |
135
11 |
70
7.5 |
57
9 |
4.74
5 |
1.45
6 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
55 |
.272
3 |
236
8 |
849
6 |
154
12 |
68
5 |
10
1 |
4.65
9 |
1.42
11 |
Rumblin' Grumlings
Darryl Grumling |
53.5 |
.290
9 |
176
4 |
767
4 |
121
9 |
64
4 |
21
4.5 |
4.59
10 |
1.44
9 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
46 |
.285
7 |
211
5 |
907
8 |
76
3 |
78
9 |
43
6 |
5.07
3 |
1.47
5 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
34 |
.271
2 |
139
2 |
611
2 |
85
4 |
43
2 |
54
8 |
4.66
7 |
1.45
7 |
Salary Caps
Mike Capilo |
26 |
.275
6 |
222
7 |
771
5 |
59
1 |
34
1 |
15
3 |
5.33
2 |
1.61
1 |
Charm City Bandits
Greg Chiambruchini |
25.5 |
.273
4 |
132
1 |
580
1 |
71
2 |
70
7.5 |
12
2 |
4.92
4 |
1.48
4 |
|
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney
|
22.5 |
.269
1 |
170
3 |
737
3 |
92
5 |
61
3 |
21
4.5 |
5.33
1 |
1.58
2 |
Final 1995 Stats and
Standings
| |
|
Avg |
HR |
RBI |
SB |
W |
S |
ERA |
Ratio |
Malignancies
Chris Malinowski |
77 |
.271
5 |
185
10 |
821
11 |
64
3 |
83
12 |
54
12 |
3.78
12 |
1.34
12 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
72.5 |
.274
8 |
181
8 |
748
7 |
115
9.5 |
76
11 |
50
11 |
4.32
11 |
1.43
7 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
67 |
.290
12 |
177
7 |
806
10 |
147
12 |
67
7 |
46
9 |
4.78
1 |
1.39
9 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
64 |
.276
9 |
224
12 |
858
12 |
100
6 |
71
10 |
36
5 |
4.57
7 |
1.46
3 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
58 |
.290
11 |
182
9 |
763
8 |
73
4 |
63
5 |
47
10 |
4.69
5 |
1.44
6 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
52 |
.272
7 |
189
11 |
734
6 |
131
11 |
65
6 |
39
7 |
4.75
2 |
1.47
2 |
Rumblin' Grumlings
Darryl Grumling |
51 |
.258
1 |
167
5 |
692
4 |
105
7 |
70
9 |
37
6 |
4.43
9 |
1.36
10 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
48.5 |
.278
10 |
143
4 |
719
5 |
115
9.5 |
43
2 |
31
4 |
4.64
6 |
1.42
8 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
48.5 |
.272
6 |
170
6 |
768
9 |
112
8 |
69
8 |
23
2.5 |
4.73
4 |
1.45
5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
37 |
.263
2 |
121
3 |
576
3 |
94
5 |
53
4 |
42
8 |
4.52
8 |
1.46
4 |
Reading Wretches
Pete DeCoursey |
31 |
.263
3 |
109
2 |
473
1 |
55
2 |
42
1 |
14
1 |
4.32
10 |
1.36
11 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl
|
17.5 |
.268
4 |
97
1 |
493
2 |
44
1 |
46
3 |
23
2.5 |
4.74
3 |
1.48
1 |
| 1994
ASL Standings |
|
1993
ASL Standings |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
79 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
85 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
76.5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
79 |
Reading Wretches
Pete DeCoursey |
73.5 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
66 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
66.5 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
64.5 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
64.5 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
54 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
45.5 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
53.5 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
45 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
53 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
44 |
Reading Wretches
Pete DeCoursey |
48.5 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
36 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
41.5 |
Rumblin' Grumlings
Darryl Grumling |
32.5 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
30.5 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
31 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
24.5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher
|
30 |
Rumblin'
Grumlings
Darryl Grumling
|
24 |
| 1992
ASL Standings |
|
1991
ASL Standings |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
74 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
77 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
72 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
75.5 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
71 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
64.5 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
69 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
64.5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
60.5 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
63.5 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
60.5 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
61.5 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
43 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
57 |
Reading Wretches
Pete DeCoursey |
43 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
43.5 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
42 |
Rumblin'
Grumlings
Darryl Grumling |
43 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
34.5 |
Reading Wretches
Pete DeCoursey |
36.5 |
Rumblin'
Grumlings
Darryl Grumling |
28 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
19.5 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney
|
26.5 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella
|
18 |
| 1990
ASL Standings |
|
1989
ASL Standings |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
79 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
75 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
71 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
71 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
70 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
66 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
67 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
64 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
53 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
60 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
51 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
58.5 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
49 |
Johnny Insanes
Jonathan Finglass |
48 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
48 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
46.5 |
AL Bees
Al Walentis |
42.5 |
Border Lions
Chuck Border |
45 |
Danny Ozarks
Dan Haughney |
39 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
45 |
Rumblin'
Grumlings
Darryl Grumling |
35 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
24 |
Wolf Gang
Jeff Wolf
|
19.5 |
Wolf Gang
Jeff Wolf
|
21 |
| 1988
ASL Standings |
|
1987
ASL Standings |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
78 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
80.5 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
69.5 |
Jon DeLoreans
Jonathan Finglass |
77.5 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
66.5 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
73.5 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
59.5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
64 |
Jon DeLoreans
Jonathan Finglass |
59 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
60.5 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
53.5 |
CarboKusicks
Gary Warner |
59.5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
53 |
One-Armed Bandits
Jamie Yousaitis |
48.5 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
50 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
36.5 |
Penn-Quinns
J.Yousaitis/Tom Quinn |
42 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
35 |
D.A.R.S.
Anthony DeRossa |
40 |
Yankee Clippers
Rich Scarcella |
32.5 |
Morris Minors
A.Linker/D.Morris |
33 |
The S&M's
A.Linker/D.Morris |
28.5 |
Nellie Foxes
Dave Fox
|
20 |
D.A.R.S.
Anthony DeRossa
|
27.5 |
| 1986
ASL Standings |
|
1985
ASL Standings |
Jon DeLoreans
Jonathan Finglass |
73 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
71.5 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
68.5 |
Jon DeLoreans
Jonathan Finglass |
61 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
57 |
Gross Outs
Mike Gross |
60 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
56.5 |
Blacksheep
Rich Ziemba |
58.5 |
Rob Sox
Rob Schwartz |
56 |
D.A.R.S.
Anthony DeRossa |
57 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
51.5 |
San Drago Chicken
Mike Drago |
54 |
Mittl
Infielders
John Mittl |
51 |
CarboKusicks
Gary Warner |
44 |
D.A.R.S.
Anthony DeRossa |
49.5 |
Snyde Remarks
Steve Snyder |
36 |
CarboKusicks
Gary Warner |
45 |
One-Armed Bandits
Jamie Yousaitis |
36 |
Gross Outs
Mike Gross |
44.5 |
Drewers
Drew Gallagher |
26 |
One-Armed Bandits
Jamie Yousaitis |
39.5 |
Snyder Slyders
Rod Snyder |
24 |
The S &
M's
Dave Morris/A.Linker
|
32 |
(Only 11 teams in 1985) |
|
Weis Guys
