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Altered States League
Home Page

Manly Men of Rotisserie Baseball

2018 DRAFT DATE:
Saturday, March 24th, 2018
Start time: 11:00AM
Location: Trooper Thorn's
451 Morgantown Rd, Reading, PA 19611
(upstairs room)

Since some people forget every year:
You must draft 24 players for $260
(2) C, 1B, 2B, SS, 3B, IF, (5) OF, DH, U, (10) P

Matt Dodge...the Fantasy Team owner, not the punter

2018 ASL
ROSTER FREEZE:

Monday, March 19th, 2017
7:00PM

You may retain up to 13 players.  You must also note any contract extensions at that time.  You may submit your freeze list early - you can change it as many times as you like up until the dead-line. However, once you submit your list, you may no longer make any trades until after the draft.  If you have more than (5) s3 rookies, you will not have to cut down to the maximum of (5) until draft day.

 
33rd Season Is in the Books
Drew Gallagher,
10/02/17

The Altered States League moved to a 5x5, created one of the dopiest categories known to man (I’m looking at you “holds), and is positioned to get rid of the beloved and much maligned second catcher position. None of this has apparently fazed The Bombers as they won another pennant and with quite a bit of ease. It seems like a lifetime ago that Dodge was within striking distance but apparently the run at the leader took a lot of juice out of Matt’s plucky band of Oriole middle relievers as he limped into a 4th place finish.

The Question Marks finished second, their highest finish ever, and apparently all it took was getting rid of Mike Trout who obviously had been holding his team back for his five-year tenure with the Marks and had no hardware to show for it. Of course having Aaron Judge and Andrew Benintendi fill the void appears to have helped.

The Yardbirds finished third and though it is difficult to pin the final day switch in standings on one player alone, I have to believe that there will be a special place in Rick’s heart for Blake Snell from this point forward. Snell allowed two hits (NO WALKS), no runs while whiffing 13 Orioles who were obviously trying to hit flights out of Baltimore rather than fastballs. The WHIP category was incredibly tight entering the final day of the season and Zilla’s outing for the Question Marks pretty much locked up the second spot.

The battle for 5th place was interesting until Blake Snell turned into Sandy Koufax and the Bohicas lived up to their team name and anally raped me in the RBI category on the season’s final day. The resulting tie for 6th place will lead to a coin toss at some point to see if I get the 2nd reserve pick (likely Willie Calhoun because Jurickson Profar’s spot on my roster has to be filled by someone) or if it goes to the Weis Guys.

I will try to get (winning payments) mailed by Christmas. (Scott Winterburn is supposed to pay me back any day now on an investment he assured me would net 10% between April and now. Just need the Pennsylvania penal system to grant him early release.)

In case it was not abundantly clear, I hate the holds and saves category and would like to see the Chris Bando, Ron Karkovice position stick around. But I suppose there are rules in place to make certain we don’t change those on a whim. Whimsical, however, is not always a bad thing.

If by chance anyone has had  enough of funding the Bombers’ annual Christmas shopping please let us know that you do not intend to return for 2018. You’ll certainly be missed…kind of like the holds category.

 

ASL "Win/Loss" Records, 1985-2015
Several years ago, when Jerry Heath was still in the roto business, researching the science of Rotisserie, he came up with a Won/Loss method to determine the "value" of players, in terms of their impact on the standings.

He would survey the final standings of hundreds of league. If a player was on a first-place team, he got a win. If he was on a last-place team, he got a loss. If he was on a team that finished between first and last, he had no record.

For example, if Pedro Martinez was drafted in 100 leagues, and was on 35 pennant-winners, and 5 cellar-dwellers, he would have a 35-5 "record." It usually turned out that the best players, purchased for the best value, had the best won-loss records.

Using Heath's W-L formula as a starting point, I thought I would create all-time standings for ASL franchises. Pennant-winners would achieve an 11-0 record (in a 12-team league). Second-place teams would have a 10-1 record. Last-place teams 0-11, etc.  Using that method, here's what I came up with:

Team Owner Seasons   Titles   $*   W   L   T   Pct.
Nicklebockers Steve Nickel 2       2   20   2   0   .909
Malignancies C. Malinowski 22   8   15   186   55   0   .772
Rob Sox Rob Schwartz 15   3   9   121   42   1   .742
Bombers Mark Martin 4   2   3   32   12   0   .727
Mystery Tramps Gerry Kahle 1       1   8   3   0   .727
Jon DeLoreans Jon Finglass 8   1   5   61   26   0   .701
Bohicas Dave Woodley 3       1   22   11   0   .667
Dr.K's Nelson Kohn 3   1   1   21   11   1   .656
Chicken Mike Drago 26   7   13   185   99   0   .651
Weis Guys Eric Weiser 4       2   28   16   0   .636
Black Sheep Rich Ziemba 11       6   76   44   0   .633
Snyde Remarks Steve Snyder 12       6   82   48   1   .630
Dodge Polaras Matt Dodge 16   2   6   106   68   2   .609
Toilets J. Schlesinger 7   0.5   4   45   30   1   .600
Gerry's Kids Gerry Orlando 6   1   2   38   26   2   .594
Atomic Bombers Tom Serpe 1           6   4   1   .590
Wine Drives Drew Wine 2   1   1   12   10   0   .545
Rug Burns S. Winterburn 8   1   2   47   40   1   .540
C.C.Bandits G.Ciambruschini 4       1   23   20   1   .535
City Slickers Marty Slickers 16   1   6   88   87   0   .503
Grossouts Mike Gross 2       1   10   11   0   .476
Daley Doubles Dale Scott 19       8   93   103   1   .474
DeCoys P. DeCoursey 11   1   4   55   65   1   .458
AL Bees Al Walentis 8       2   39   48   1   .448
Question Marks Mark Bennett 16   0.5   3   77   96   2   .445
R-Huskies Scott Metcalfe 8       2   38   48   1   .442
Drewers D. Gallagher 32   1   8   153   194   2   .441
CarboKusics Gary Warner 2           13   19   0   .406
K-9s Kori Walter 5       1   22   33   0   .400
Morris Minors Dave Morris 13       4   56   84   3   .400
Yankee Clippers Rich Scarcella 8   1   1   33   53   2   .384
Salary Caps Mike Capilo 3           12   20   1   .378
Yardbirds Rick Franz 12       1   49   82   0   .374
Danny Ozarks Dan Haughney 10       3   41   69   0   .372
Mittl Infielders John Mittl 10           41   69   0   .372
Perk & Beans Jon Perkins 14       2   53   99   1   .349
DARS A. DeRossa 4           12   30   0   .286
Nickerbockers John Nickerson 1           3   8   0   .273
1-Armed Bandits Jamie Yousaitis 4           11   31   1   .262
3 Sheetz 2 Wind Stu Sheetz 4       1   10   34   0   .227
Met-Ros Paul Rosa 9       1   22   77   0   .222
R.Grumlings Darryl Grumling 7           17   60   0   .220
Borders Lions Chuck Border 1           2   8   1   .182
Highway Robbers Rob Webster 2           4   18   0   .181
Jay/Americans Jay Finglass 2           3   19   0   .136
Gonads Ed Mazur 1           1   10   0   .091
Snyder's Sliders Rod Snyder 1           0   10   0   .000
Nellie Foxes Dave Fox 1           0   11   0   .000
Wolf Gang Jeff Wolf 2           0   22   0   .000
49 Different
Ownerships
32 Seasons

 

Most Years
without a
Top 4 Finish
John Mittl 10
D. Grumling 7
Jamie Yousaitis 4
A. DeRossa 4

 

Most Years
w/o Pennant
Dale Scott 19
Jon Perkins 14
Dave Morris 13
Steve Snyder 12
Rick Franz 12
Rich Ziemba 11
Danny Haughney 10
John Mittl 10
 

Final 2017 Standings

  Avg Runs HR RBI SB W S+H K ERA Ratio
Mark MartinBombers
Mark Martin
106 .2651
10
1033
12
295
11
978
11
104
8
94
11
153
9
1616
12
3.79
10
1.209
12
Orioles FanQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
79

.2543
5

955
9
285
10
941
10
131
11
75
4
118
4
1234
4

3.79
11

1.221
11
Rick FrantzYardbirds
Rick Frantz
78 .2657
11
1018
11
255
7
921
9
109
9
74
3
137
6
1258
5
3.90
8
1.228
9
Once offered Brent Abernathy for Jermaine DyeDodge Polaras
Matt Dodge
73 .2521
4
908
8
279
9
902
7
82
4
84
9
152
8
1322
7
3.90
9
1.244
8
Founder of the ASL, The ChickenThe Chicken
Mike Drago
70.5 .2651
9
868
6
222
5
804
6
87
5.5
82
8
165
11
1343
9
4.31
4
1.264
7
Arrested by the fashion police in 2003Drewers
Drew Gallagher
67 .2740
12
764
3
194
2
744
3
111
10
81
7
96
2
1275
6
3.69
12
1.223
10
Weis Guys
Eric Weis
67 .2590
7
887
7
267
8
916
8
72
3
79
6
158
10
1363
11
4.54
3
1.327
4
Used to work at the Almost-a-BankDaley Doubles
Dale Scott
61 .2607
8
998
10
335
12
984
12
101
7
71
1
124
5
1169
3
4.56
2
1.403
1
Tried to draft Kaz Matsui in the 2003 reserve draftCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
56 .2489
2
838
5
247
6
754
5
145
12
76
5
139
7
1112
2
4.09
7
1.312
5
Do whatever this guy says, he's smartFightin Tumors
Chris Malinowski
52.5 .2433
1
751
2
179
1
679
1
87
5.5
89
10
181
12
1330
8
4.21
6
1.298
6
Axemen
Ken Axe
50 .2571
6
782
4
200
3
706
2
71
2
98
12
104
3
1362
10
4.23
5
1.347
3
Dave WoodleyBohicas
Dave Woodley
20 .2498
3
703
1
210
4
746
4
59
1
73
2
75
1
1075
1
4.74
1
1.388
2
 
The Chicken and The Drewer.

ASL Standings
Archive

To See ASL
Stats and
Standings
1985 thru
2017

Secret Lovers
 
ASL TRADING RULES:
Draft Day thru noon on August 31st:  During the trading period, teams may accept only TWO "asterisk" players total throughout the year and those must be from different teams.  On the flip-side, a team may trade AWAY as many "asterisk" players as they like (but no two "asterisk" players to the same team.)

"Asterisk" players are any players auction drafted for $20 or over, any players FAAB drafted for $60 or over, players of any salary in the final year of their contract, and players traded to the National League.

Restricted Trading, 12:01 p.m. on August 3rd thru noon August 31st: 
You may trade with any team +/- 5 points in the standings and any team +/-2 positions in the standings (based on the most up to date standings on the front page of the league web-site.  "Live" standings will not count, as there will be no way to verify it later.)  Also, all teams that have less than 40 points may all trade freely with each other.  The asterisk rules will apply during this period.
 

2016 FAAB$

The Dead-Line for FAAB bidding is every Sunday at 10:00 p.m.

The last week of free-agent pick-ups is Sunday, 9/25/16.  Any bids in September must be bids of at least $5.  (So if you have $4 or less after August, you may NOT submit a bid!)

Paul paid $18 for a shortstop with a broken leg

A.S.L. MENTIONED IN
BASEBALL WEEKLY

In the 10/11-17/00 issue of Baseball Weekly (Page 40), John Hunt ran a story called "This Season's Greatest Fantasy Finishes".  Hunt wrote: "...[in] the Altered States League... Drew Gallagher won after a 15-year drought (not long, since he's a Red Sox fan.) Gallagher's team won thanks to Mark McLemore's steal of second base in the final game.  He won the league by one point, finishing in a tie for first in stolen bases.  The second-place team happened to finish one behind the co-leaders in steals - meaning that steal made the difference.  (McLemore was Gallagher's final pick, 'and the closing bid happened to come as I was going to get another beer,' he said.)"

 

Mike Drago Pre-Draft Power Rankings!
I take the value each team has compiled going into the draft, then add the dollars left (minus inflation rate) and come up with a dollar value each team could expect to come out of the draft with. The "average" team, of course, would emerge at $260. A juggernaut would be around $300. Cellar-dwellers, like one of the early Drewer teams, around $200.

2003 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Drewers 288   T8
Chicken 274   1
DeCoys 268   12
Rug Burns 260   5
Malignancies 254   2
City Slickers 247   11
Perk & Beans 223   3
Gerry's Kids 221   6
Daley Doubles 211   10
Dodge Polaras 211   7
K9s 210   4
Question Marks 190   T8
 
2002 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Malignancies 331   1
Rugburns 300   6
DeCoys 293   2
Gerry's Kids 258   4
Question Marks 258   5
K9s 246   8
Chicken 229   10
Drewers 222   9
Daley Doubles 209   12
Perkolators 206   7
City Slickers 199   3
Dodge Polaras 182   11
2001 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Malignancies 282   8
Daley Doubles 281   3
Gerry's Kids 269   1
Beltin Jons 265   T9
Rug Burns 264   2
K9s 263   7
Drewers 255   T9
Chicken 249   6
Dodge Polaras 246   5
Question Marks 233   12
City Slickers 219   4
DeCoys 205   11
 
2000 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Malignancies 288   2
Chicken 282   3
Drewers 274   1
Perkolators 263   6
Mystery Tramps 250   4
Salary Caps 249   8
Daley Doubles 249   10
Rug Burns 236   12
Gerry's Kids 236   5
Gonads 211   11
K-9s 209   7
Rosas/Dirt 192   9
 

ROTISSERIE ACCORDING TO JON FINGLASS
by Drew Gallagher, 1999

"I’ll just keep you a minute…":
TRANSLATION: Honey, put on a pot of coffee.
OR: Honey, can we go visit your parents right now?

"They love his experience…":
TRANSLATION: The ubiquitous "they" are his parents. Experience, which is defined by Bubba Smith who is 32 and has never played above AA, is rarely loved by the major league skipper who couldn’t find the "prospect" at spring training with a map.

"Has your friend ever played rotisserie before…":
TRANSLATION: Does he know that Joe Charboneau has retired? Does he know that "having a good September for Wichita" is not one of the eight scoring categories?

"Davey Johnson loved this guy when he was with the Orioles…":
TRANSLATION: We all know that Davey Johnson managed the Orioles in the mid-90s. However, few remember that Davey used to "play" for the Orioles in the early 70s and that is when he "loved this guy". Please remember that players eligible for the Hall-of-Fame or broke in with Dwight Evans have little rotisserie value currently.

"Rob and I were discussing this…":
TRANSLATION: Although Rob may have been on the phone at one time that evening with Jon, he probably wasn’t listening, let alone agreeing that Tom Neidenfuer only played well for Jonathan.

"For whatever reason, he only plays well for me…"
TRANSLATION: Please trade with me because I am psychologically dependent upon my rotisserie team and subsequently the players I had 10 years ago. Pity is the great motivator here!

"We’re not even in the same stratosphere…"
TRANSLATION: I’ve been playing this game for 15 years and have yet to make a fair trade and am sure as hell not going to make one now! (Consolation prize: You AREN’T in the same stratosphere as Jonny Boy!)

"That’s interesting, but let’s just tweak it a little bit…"
TRANSLATION: Take out anything on my side of value and you add to your side of the already overwhelmingly one-sided deal and I’ll grin.

"If no one wants to trade now, that’s fine. We know who they’ll be coming to during the season and overpaying for…"
TRANSLATION: Editor’s Note—This phrase has sexual undertones that we are not comfortable delving into.

"Just a few short orders of business before the draft…":
TRANSLATION: Go to the hotel’s front desk immediately and advise them that you will be staying for another night.

"I was Michael’s best man, but…"; "I liked Pete, but we just didn’t play well together…"; "Greg’s a great guy, but…"; "Don’t get me wrong, I liked Morris, but…" "Nickel’s one of my best friends, but…" "Jay’s my brother, but…"
TRANSLATION: In gambling lingo this is known as a trend.

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