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Altered States League
Home Page

Manly Men of Rotisserie Baseball

2019 DRAFT DATE:
Saturday, March 23rd, 2019
Start time: 11:00AM
Location: Trooper Thorn's
451 Morgantown Rd, Reading, PA 19611
(upstairs room)

Since some people forget every year:
You must draft 24 players for $260
C, 1B, 2B, SS, 3B, IF, (5) OF, DH, (2) U, (10) P

Matt Dodge...the Fantasy Team owner, not the punter

2019 ASL
ROSTER FREEZE:

Monday, March 18th, 2019
7:00PM

You may retain up to 13 players.  You must also note any contract extensions at that time.  You may submit your freeze list early - you can change it as many times as you like up until the dead-line. However, once you submit your list, you may no longer make any trades until after the draft.  If you have more than (5) s3 rookies, you will not have to cut down to the maximum of (5) until draft day.

 
Bombers Win...Again
Drew Gallagher,
10/01/18
I was tempted to recycle my season-ending summary from last year since Mark and Mark finished one and two in 2017 as they did this season. I am also tempted to refer to the Bombers as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch or something more befitting a four-time champion in the ASL. For those of you playing at home, that’s four championships in six seasons. There was the one year “rebuild” and then a third-place finish thrown in there just to show some modesty. (We interrupt this summary to reflect on the fact that if anything ever happens to www.yourpalchrismal.com we will lose 34 years of ASL history. Chris probably should have kept hard copies of calendars instead of a web site in case any of us are called to testify before Congress. And I know that about 34 years ago I drafted Brook Jacoby and Pat Tabler for $1 each. Did not sexually assault anyone either.)

My brother is now a Ukrainian citizen so I sent the prize money to him for safekeeping (banks pay 10% interest on savings accounts!). As soon as I get the money and exchange the hryvnia for dollars I’ll send out the checks to the winners. Scott Winterburn has assured me he can help should I run into any problems with the currency exchange or the Ukrainian banks collapsing because they pay 10% interest on savings accounts.

With consecutive second place finishes by The Question Marks, it appears that Benintendi and Judge are more valuable than a solo Trout. Blake Snell doesn’t hurt either. Props to Dodge for actually giving something of value when the Question Marks dumped a few years ago.
By finishing fifth, Chris gets the number one reserve pick. At the time, it appeared his trading of Miguel Andujar might have been folly, but with Andujar instead of, say, Alex Gordon, he might have caught Dale for 4th place and not gotten the number one pick. Savvy move. (And I recognize that I gave the Bombers Eduardo Rodriguez for Steve Bedrosian’s son [who shall never be anything more than Steve Bedrosian’s son] who certainly helped the spurt for first, but at least ERod remained true to form and was hurt for a substantial portion of the season).

That’s all I have for now. If you do not plan on returning for next season (our 35th) please let us know sooner rather than later so we can replace you with another owner who wins four out of six seasons. As we did this year, we’ll try to work the draft in around Dodge’s vacation schedule.

I believe that my keeper list for 2019 could be the worst I’ve had since, well, since I had a $1 Brook Jacoby and Pat Tabler. And I like beer. I like beer a lot. And there were occasions in college when I drank and woke up in vomit. Not my own vomit mind you, but you can’t really dust for vomit can you? (Anyone who can name the movie I just tried to shoehorn in there can have Charlie Morton…if he signs in the NL.)

Death to holds, and long live Chris Bando and Ron Karkovice!
 

 

Final 2018 Standings

  Avg Runs HR RBI SB W S+H K ERA Ratio
Mark MartinBombers
Mark Martin
103.5 .2600
9
1023
11
285
11.5
1019
12
112
9
91
10
166
10
1535
12
3.69
10
1.225
9
Orioles FanQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
98

.2598
8

902
8
220
6
815
8
127
11
117
12
183
11
1479
10

3.38
12

1.164
12
Dave WoodleyBohicas
Dave Woodley
86.5 .2449
4
1040
12
285
11.5
959
11
105
7
96
11
165
9
1490
11
4.13
7
1.326
3
Used to work at the Almost-a-BankSemi-Colons;
Dale Scott
81 .2492
7
904
9
280
10
911
10
110
8
83
7
144
8
1345
6
4.07
8
1.256
8
Do whatever this guy says, he's smart$8 Alex Gordons
Chris Malinowski
73 .2422
3
783
5
201
4
720
3
120
10
89
8
192
12
1461
9
4.00
9
1.224
10
Tried to draft Kaz Matsui in the 2003 reserve draftCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
72 .2645
11
858
7
230
7
766
6
128
12
74
6
99
3
1398
8
4.24
5
1.295
7
Arrested by the fashion police in 2003Drewers
Drew Gallagher
64 .2471
6
779
4
179
2
708
2
88
6
90
9
127
6
1359
7
3.60
11
1.217
11
Rick FrantzYardbirds
Rick Frantz
50 .2620
10
905
10
252
9
900
9
73
2
64
3
136
7
970
1
4.27
1
1.352
1
Founder of the ASL, The ChickenThe Chicken
Mike Drago
49 .2711
12
697
2
186
3
733
4
87
5
64
3
136
7
1272
4
4.37
4
1.312
5
Axemen
Ken Axe
43 .2465
5
853
6
219
5
758
5
65
1
69
4
75
2
1155
3
4.19
6
1.310
6
Weis Guys
Eric Weis
40 .2332
1
711
3
243
8
789
7
74
3
72
5
108
4
1315
5
4.65
2
1.326
2
Once offered Brent Abernathy for Jermaine DyeDodge Polaras
Matt Dodge
20 .2420
2
665
1
161
1
617
1
82
4
53
1
52
1
991
2
4.39
3
1.314
4
 

ASL "Win/Loss" Records, 1985-2018
Several years ago, when Jerry Heath was still in the roto business, researching the science of Rotisserie, he came up with a Won/Loss method to determine the "value" of players, in terms of their impact on the standings.

He would survey the final standings of hundreds of league. If a player was on a first-place team, he got a win. If he was on a last-place team, he got a loss. If he was on a team that finished between first and last, he had no record.

For example, if Pedro Martinez was drafted in 100 leagues, and was on 35 pennant-winners, and 5 cellar-dwellers, he would have a 35-5 "record." It usually turned out that the best players, purchased for the best value, had the best won-loss records.

Using Heath's W-L formula as a starting point, I thought I would create all-time standings for ASL franchises. Pennant-winners would achieve an 11-0 record (in a 12-team league). Second-place teams would have a 10-1 record. Last-place teams 0-11, etc.  Using that method, here's what I came up with:

Team Owner Seasons   Titles   $*   W   L   T   Pct.
Nicklebockers Steve Nickel 2       2   20   2   0   .909
Bombers Mark Martin 6   4   5   54   12   0   .818
Rob Sox Rob Schwartz 15   3   9   121   42   1   .742
Malignancies C. Malinowski 24   8   15   195   68   0   .741
Mystery Tramps Gerry Kahle 1       1   8   3   0   .727
Jon DeLoreans Jon Finglass 8   1   5   61   26   0   .701
Dr.K's Nelson Kohn 3   1   1   21   11   1   .656
Chicken Mike Drago 28   7   13   195   111   0   .637
Black Sheep Rich Ziemba 11       6   76   44   0   .633
Snyde Remarks Steve Snyder 12       6   82   48   1   .630
Toilets J. Schlesinger 7   0.5   4   45   30   1   .600
Gerry's Kids Gerry Orlando 6   1   2   38   26   2   .594
Atomic Bombers Tom Serpe 1           6   4   1   .590
Dodge Polaras Matt Dodge 18   2   7   114   82   2   .582
Bohicas Dave Woodley 5       2   31   24   0   .564
Wine Drives Drew Wine 2   1   1   12   10   0   .545
Rug Burns S. Winterburn 8   1   2   47   40   1   .540
C.C.Bandits G.Ciambruschini 4       1   23   20   1   .535
Weis Guys Eric Weiser 6       2   34   31   1   .523
Question Marks Mark Bennett 18   0.5   5   97   98   2   .497
City Slickers Marty Slickers 18   1   6   97   100   0   .492
Semi-Colons Dale Scott 21       9   105   113   1   .482
Grossouts Mike Gross 2       1   10   11   0   .476
DeCoys P. DeCoursey 11   1   4   55   65   1   .458
AL Bees Al Walentis 8       2   39   48   1   .448
R-Huskies Scott Metcalfe 8       2   38   48   1   .442
Drewers D. Gallagher 34   1   8   160   205   3   .438
CarboKusics Gary Warner 2           13   19   0   .406
Yardbirds Rick Franz 14       2   62   91   0   .405
K-9s Kori Walter 5       1   22   33   0   .400
Morris Minors Dave Morris 13       4   56   84   3   .400
Yankee Clippers Rich Scarcella 8   1   1   33   53   2   .384
Salary Caps Mike Capilo 3           12   20   1   .378
Danny Ozarks Dan Haughney 10       3   41   69   0   .372
Mittl Infielders John Mittl 10           41   69   0   .372
Perk & Beans Jon Perkins 14       2   53   99   1   .349
DARS A. DeRossa 4           12   30   0   .286
Nickerbockers John Nickerson 1           3   8   0   .273
1-Armed Bandits Jamie Yousaitis 4           11   31   1   .262
3 Sheetz 2 Wind Stu Sheetz 4       1   10   34   0   .227
Met-Ros Paul Rosa 9       1   22   77   0   .222
R.Grumlings Darryl Grumling 7           17   60   0   .220
Borders Lions Chuck Border 1           2   8   1   .182
Highway Robbers Rob Webster 2           4   18   0   .181
Jay/Americans Jay Finglass 2           3   19   0   .136
Axemen Ken Axe 2           3   19   0   .136
Gonads Ed Mazur 1           1   10   0   .091
Snyder's Sliders Rod Snyder 1           0   10   0   .000
Nellie Foxes Dave Fox 1           0   11   0   .000
Wolf Gang Jeff Wolf 2           0   22   0   .000
50 Different
Ownerships
34 Seasons

 

Most Years
without a
Top 4 Finish
John Mittl 10
D. Grumling 7
Jamie Yousaitis 4
A. DeRossa 4

 

Most Years
w/o Pennant
Dale Scott 21
Jon Perkins 14
Rick Franz 14
Dave Morris 13
Steve Snyder 12
Rich Ziemba 11
Danny Haughney 10
John Mittl 10
 
Dave Woodley and Drew Gallagher

ASL Standings
Archive

To See ASL
Stats and
Standings
1985 thru
2018

Marty Slicker
 
ASL TRADING RULES:
Draft Day thru noon on August 31st:  During the trading period, teams may accept only TWO "asterisk" players total throughout the year and those must be from different teams.  On the flip-side, a team may trade AWAY as many "asterisk" players as they like (but no two "asterisk" players to the same team.)

"Asterisk" players are any players auction drafted for $20 or over, any players FAAB drafted for $60 or over, players of any salary in the final year of their contract, and players traded to the National League.

Restricted Trading, 12:01 p.m. on August 3rd thru noon August 31st: 
You may trade with any team +/- 5 points in the standings and any team +/-2 positions in the standings (based on the most up to date standings on the front page of the league web-site.  "Live" standings will not count, as there will be no way to verify it later.)  Also, all teams that have less than 50 points may all trade freely with each other.  The asterisk rules will apply during this period.
 

2018 FAAB$

The Dead-Line for FAAB bidding is every Sunday at 10:00 p.m.

The last week of free-agent pick-ups is Sunday, 9/23/18.  Any bids in September must be bids of at least $5.  (So if you have $4 or less after August, you may NOT submit a bid!)

Mike Drago

A.S.L. MENTIONED IN
BASEBALL WEEKLY

In the 10/11-17/00 issue of Baseball Weekly (Page 40), John Hunt ran a story called "This Season's Greatest Fantasy Finishes".  Hunt wrote: "...[in] the Altered States League... Drew Gallagher won after a 15-year drought (not long, since he's a Red Sox fan.) Gallagher's team won thanks to Mark McLemore's steal of second base in the final game.  He won the league by one point, finishing in a tie for first in stolen bases.  The second-place team happened to finish one behind the co-leaders in steals - meaning that steal made the difference.  (McLemore was Gallagher's final pick, 'and the closing bid happened to come as I was going to get another beer,' he said.)"

 

Mike Drago Pre-Draft Power Rankings!
I take the value each team has compiled going into the draft, then add the dollars left (minus inflation rate) and come up with a dollar value each team could expect to come out of the draft with. The "average" team, of course, would emerge at $260. A juggernaut would be around $300. Cellar-dwellers, like one of the early Drewer teams, around $200.

2003 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Drewers 288   T8
Chicken 274   1
DeCoys 268   12
Rug Burns 260   5
Malignancies 254   2
City Slickers 247   11
Perk & Beans 223   3
Gerry's Kids 221   6
Daley Doubles 211   10
Dodge Polaras 211   7
K9s 210   4
Question Marks 190   T8
 
2002 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Malignancies 331   1
Rugburns 300   6
DeCoys 293   2
Gerry's Kids 258   4
Question Marks 258   5
K9s 246   8
Chicken 229   10
Drewers 222   9
Daley Doubles 209   12
Perkolators 206   7
City Slickers 199   3
Dodge Polaras 182   11
2001 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Malignancies 282   8
Daley Doubles 281   3
Gerry's Kids 269   1
Beltin Jons 265   T9
Rug Burns 264   2
K9s 263   7
Drewers 255   T9
Chicken 249   6
Dodge Polaras 246   5
Question Marks 233   12
City Slickers 219   4
DeCoys 205   11
 
2000 Power
Rank
  Actual
Finish
Malignancies 288   2
Chicken 282   3
Drewers 274   1
Perkolators 263   6
Mystery Tramps 250   4
Salary Caps 249   8
Daley Doubles 249   10
Rug Burns 236   12
Gerry's Kids 236   5
Gonads 211   11
K-9s 209   7
Rosas/Dirt 192   9
 

ROTISSERIE ACCORDING TO JON FINGLASS
by Drew Gallagher, 1999

"I’ll just keep you a minute…":
TRANSLATION: Honey, put on a pot of coffee.
OR: Honey, can we go visit your parents right now?

"They love his experience…":
TRANSLATION: The ubiquitous "they" are his parents. Experience, which is defined by Bubba Smith who is 32 and has never played above AA, is rarely loved by the major league skipper who couldn’t find the "prospect" at spring training with a map.

"Has your friend ever played rotisserie before…":
TRANSLATION: Does he know that Joe Charboneau has retired? Does he know that "having a good September for Wichita" is not one of the eight scoring categories?

"Davey Johnson loved this guy when he was with the Orioles…":
TRANSLATION: We all know that Davey Johnson managed the Orioles in the mid-90s. However, few remember that Davey used to "play" for the Orioles in the early 70s and that is when he "loved this guy". Please remember that players eligible for the Hall-of-Fame or broke in with Dwight Evans have little rotisserie value currently.

"Rob and I were discussing this…":
TRANSLATION: Although Rob may have been on the phone at one time that evening with Jon, he probably wasn’t listening, let alone agreeing that Tom Neidenfuer only played well for Jonathan.

"For whatever reason, he only plays well for me…"
TRANSLATION: Please trade with me because I am psychologically dependent upon my rotisserie team and subsequently the players I had 10 years ago. Pity is the great motivator here!

"We’re not even in the same stratosphere…"
TRANSLATION: I’ve been playing this game for 15 years and have yet to make a fair trade and am sure as hell not going to make one now! (Consolation prize: You AREN’T in the same stratosphere as Jonny Boy!)

"That’s interesting, but let’s just tweak it a little bit…"
TRANSLATION: Take out anything on my side of value and you add to your side of the already overwhelmingly one-sided deal and I’ll grin.

"If no one wants to trade now, that’s fine. We know who they’ll be coming to during the season and overpaying for…"
TRANSLATION: Editor’s Note—This phrase has sexual undertones that we are not comfortable delving into.

"Just a few short orders of business before the draft…":
TRANSLATION: Go to the hotel’s front desk immediately and advise them that you will be staying for another night.

"I was Michael’s best man, but…"; "I liked Pete, but we just didn’t play well together…"; "Greg’s a great guy, but…"; "Don’t get me wrong, I liked Morris, but…" "Nickel’s one of my best friends, but…" "Jay’s my brother, but…"
TRANSLATION: In gambling lingo this is known as a trend.