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ESL
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Perk Is Cut Off
Mal Maher, 5/18/10 |
Throughout the
course of history, the ESL league has realities and each
player has SOP's (standard operating procedures.) I've
summarized each GM's trading profile below. Enjoy the
read.
Before I go off on a tangent. Perk go fuck yourself. Now
that I've sealed my own fate let's move on.
1. ChrisMal seems to have the ability to hoard
talent and an edge over everyone else with draft picks,
free agents, etc. He'll never make an even trade but
that's what makes him the George Steinbrenner of this
league.
2. Drew is all talk. Talk trade trade trade and
well nothing happens. He's nice to your face and stabs
you whenever he can with insults. I'm currently in
therapy after the harassing/beating i took at the draft.
Just in case you missed my above comment, perk..go fuck
yourself.
3. Chuck God bless him is up for anything at
anytime... His quotes and emails are at times beyond
understanding but Chuck is a mover and shaker. Love him.
4. Jamie I can't even discuss now because our
situation is heading for an infringement lawsuit. |
5. Marty...I'll
be a SOB he asks me for a starter then 24 hours later
doesn't want a starter because his leppers put together
a few good starts. BRIGHT SIDE: Marty emailed me back
more than once AND actually has shown signs of trading
life.
6. Rick ...new guy in a word sucks. "Hi I'm Rick
and I want to trade...PSYCH, no i don't"
7. Mr. Bennett....my boy never a harsh word
8. Dale...smooth and steady Dale. Can't say a
damn thing about Dale. I'd like to say "I love dale he
always sends offers and is up for trades but he's not."
Dale is our vanilla ice cream. No flavors, no fun, but
no staining either. Dale comes home from work with no
skidmarks on the undies. He's cleaner than a twice a day
tested Manny Ramirez.
9. Me I'm a complete lunatic and push the panic
button but i'm a realist. My hitters suck and i have
arms.....just like 1/2 the teams in this league have no
arms and a ton of hitting. Simple solution??? BALANCE
YOUR ROSTERS!!! but I'm the lunatic? tell you what 2
months from now when you have no shot moving up the
pitching categories remember this email.
10. Perk...you're dead to me |
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Ownership Change
Drew Gallagher, 1/08/10 |
Gentlemen,
Paul has decided that the ESL was taking a little too
much of his time and has opted to ply his National
League talents elsewhere. Fortunately, Rick Franz who
has been in the ASL for a few years now, took over the
much-maligned franchise earlier today. Rick quickly held
a press conference before Daniel Snyder could find a
reason to attend and stand at the podium with Rick. His
comments were brief but pointed:
“I figure if Perk can win this league then I should be
able to win it too.”
Although he has two very cheap closers (including a very
personal attachment to Leo Nunez that goes back to his
days in Kansas City), his reasoning for accepting
ownership was based on something that can’t be measured: |
“Some might’ve
viewed this as an opportunity to add Mal as a friend on
Facebook, but I viewed it as an opportunity to draft
Melky Cabrera.”
Rick intends to spend the next few days hoping that
Orlando Hudson signs with an NL team and fully relishing
the trade rumors surrounding Jorge Cantu this offseason.
And I would be remiss in not reminding everyone that
draft day is April 9th at 5 PM. In news related to the
earlier start time, Mal trades the Druids Mike Stanton
for a Fudgie the Whale cake.
To all, a good weekend. Go Iggles! |
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2010 DRAFT DATE:
Friday, April 9th, 2010
5:00PM
DRAFT LOCATION:
123 Frey Road, Oley, PA
610-944-5190
(Drew's Parents' house)
Since some of you
forget every year:
You must draft
27 players for $290
(2) C, 1B, 1/3, 3B, 2B, 2/S,
SS, IF, (7) OF, U, (10) P |
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ESL ROSTER FREEZE:
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
5:00PM
You may retain up to 16 players. You must also
note any contract extensions at that time. You
must also note any rookies that you will retain on
reserve. You may submit your freeze list early -
you can change it as many times as you like up until the
dead-line. However, once you submit your list, you may
no longer make any trades until after the draft. |
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ESL STANDINGS
and team stats
1985 thru
the present
CLICK HERE |
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THE BEST!
...and the worst
of the ESL
CLICK HERE |

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For the ESL
Trade Archives
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ESL TRADING RULES: |
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Between Draft Day and noon on August 31st,
teams may accept only TWO "asterisk" players
total and those must be from different
teams. On the flip-side, a team may
trade AWAY as many "asterisk" players as
they like (but no two "asterisk" players to
the same team.) "Asterisk" players are
any players auction drafted for $25 or over,
any players FAAB drafted for $60 or over,
players of any salary in the final year of
their contract, and players traded to the
A.L. |
Thursday after the All-Star Game, 12:01 p.m. thru noon August 31st:
Restricted trading, you may trade with any
team +/- 5 points in the standings (based on
the most up to date standings on the front
page of the All-Star Stats web-site.
"Live" standings will not count, as there
will be no way to verify it later.)
Also during this period, teams with less
than 40 points and not in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th
or 5th place will also be able to continue
trading with each other. The asterisk
rules will apply during this period.
Between 12:01 p.m. on August 31st thru the
end of the regular season: NO
trading what-so-ever. |
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