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I could have traded Bobby Abreu to Gerry for $36.

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Me about to pour YooHoo on Scott Menet (Mike Capilo in background)

ESL 1985 Yoo-Hoo Ceremony
The 1985 ESL YooHoo Ceremony

Me pouring YooHoo on Scott Menet with Drew Gallagher holding him down (Mike Capilo in background)
ESL League Attendance:
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Paid $44 for Matt Holliday

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To See ESL
Stats and
Standings
1985 thru
2009

Perk talking Drew into paying $18 for Mark DeRosa
 
Perk Is Cut Off
Mal Maher, 5/18/10
Throughout the course of history, the ESL league has realities and each player has SOP's (standard operating procedures.) I've summarized each GM's trading profile below. Enjoy the read.

Before I go off on a tangent. Perk go fuck yourself. Now that I've sealed my own fate let's move on.

1. ChrisMal seems to have the ability to hoard talent and an edge over everyone else with draft picks, free agents, etc. He'll never make an even trade but that's what makes him the George Steinbrenner of this league.

2. Drew is all talk. Talk trade trade trade and well nothing happens. He's nice to your face and stabs you whenever he can with insults. I'm currently in therapy after the harassing/beating i took at the draft. Just in case you missed my above comment, perk..go fuck yourself.

3. Chuck God bless him is up for anything at anytime... His quotes and emails are at times beyond understanding but Chuck is a mover and shaker. Love him.

4. Jamie I can't even discuss now because our situation is heading for an infringement lawsuit.
5. Marty...I'll be a SOB he asks me for a starter then 24 hours later doesn't want a starter because his leppers put together a few good starts. BRIGHT SIDE: Marty emailed me back more than once AND actually has shown signs of trading life.

6. Rick ...new guy in a word sucks. "Hi I'm Rick and I want to trade...PSYCH, no i don't"

7. Mr. Bennett....my boy never a harsh word

8. Dale...smooth and steady Dale. Can't say a damn thing about Dale. I'd like to say "I love dale he always sends offers and is up for trades but he's not." Dale is our vanilla ice cream. No flavors, no fun, but no staining either. Dale comes home from work with no skidmarks on the undies. He's cleaner than a twice a day tested Manny Ramirez.

9. Me I'm a complete lunatic and push the panic button but i'm a realist. My hitters suck and i have arms.....just like 1/2 the teams in this league have no arms and a ton of hitting. Simple solution??? BALANCE YOUR ROSTERS!!! but I'm the lunatic? tell you what 2 months from now when you have no shot moving up the pitching categories remember this email.

10. Perk...you're dead to me
 
Ownership Change
Drew Gallagher, 1/08/10
Gentlemen,

Paul has decided that the ESL was taking a little too much of his time and has opted to ply his National League talents elsewhere. Fortunately, Rick Franz who has been in the ASL for a few years now, took over the much-maligned franchise earlier today. Rick quickly held a press conference before Daniel Snyder could find a reason to attend and stand at the podium with Rick. His comments were brief but pointed:

“I figure if Perk can win this league then I should be able to win it too.”

Although he has two very cheap closers (including a very personal attachment to Leo Nunez that goes back to his days in Kansas City), his reasoning for accepting ownership was based on something that can’t be measured:
“Some might’ve viewed this as an opportunity to add Mal as a friend on Facebook, but I viewed it as an opportunity to draft Melky Cabrera.”

Rick intends to spend the next few days hoping that Orlando Hudson signs with an NL team and fully relishing the trade rumors surrounding Jorge Cantu this offseason.

And I would be remiss in not reminding everyone that draft day is April 9th at 5 PM. In news related to the earlier start time, Mal trades the Druids Mike Stanton for a Fudgie the Whale cake.

To all, a good weekend. Go Iggles!
 

2010 DRAFT DATE:
Friday, April 9th, 2010
5:00PM


DRAFT LOCATION:
123 Frey Road, Oley, PA
610-944-5190
(Drew's Parents' house)

Since some of you
forget every year:

You must draft
27 players for $290
(2) C, 1B, 1/3, 3B, 2B, 2/S,
SS, IF, (7) OF, U, (10) P

Jamie paid $12 for Carlos Zambrano despite 8ER in 1IP before we drafted.

ESL ROSTER FREEZE:
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
5:00PM

You may retain up to 16 players.  You must also note any contract extensions at that time.  You must also note any rookies that you will retain on reserve.  You may submit your freeze list early - you can change it as many times as you like up until the dead-line. However, once you submit your list, you may no longer make any trades until after the draft.

Dale thought Michael Bourne was worth $38

 

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1985 thru
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Marty showing up late per team protocol

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I love Mike Leake

 
 

Chuck and Ellen

For the ESL
Trade Archives

ESL TRADING RULES:

Between Draft Day and noon on August 31st, teams may accept only TWO "asterisk" players total and those must be from different teams.  On the flip-side, a team may trade AWAY as many "asterisk" players as they like (but no two "asterisk" players to the same team.)  "Asterisk" players are any players auction drafted for $25 or over, any players FAAB drafted for $60 or over, players of any salary in the final year of their contract, and players traded to the A.L. Thursday after the All-Star Game, 12:01 p.m. thru noon August 31st:  Restricted trading, you may trade with any team +/- 5 points in the standings (based on the most up to date standings on the front page of the All-Star Stats web-site.  "Live" standings will not count, as there will be no way to verify it later.)  Also during this period, teams with less than 40 points and not in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th place will also be able to continue trading with each other.  The asterisk rules will apply during this period.

Between 12:01 p.m. on August 31st thru the end of the regular season:
  NO trading what-so-ever.
 
 

Final 2009 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
63.5 .269
8
265
7
1087
9
193
9
97
8
56
5.5
3.80
8
1.27
9
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
58 .265
4
271
8
1056
6
197
10
97
8
61
7
4.06
7
1.30
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
55 .275
9
293
10
1135
10
132
4
104
10
90
9
4.40
2
1.41
1
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
54 .264
3
245
5
1082
8
149
8
97
8
47
2
3.22
10
1.23
10
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
Tom Gallagher
51 .269
7
246
6
1072
7
70
1
94
6
64
8
3.72
9
1.32
7
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
47 .278
10
200
3
949
4
139
6
92
5
98
10
4.25
4
1.38
5
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
36.5 .263
2
278
9
1054
5
137
5
90
4
56
5.5
4.34
3
1.38
3
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
33 .268
6
134
1
739
1
142
7
81
3
54
4
4.24
5
1.37
6
Paul RosaU.S.A. Forces
Paul Rosa
Jack Mitchell
29 .266
5
201
4
837
3
123
3
66
1
51
3
4.16
6
1.38
4
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
13 .261
1
187
2
827
2
81
2
70
2
37
1
4.48
1
1.39
2