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Eternal Squabblers League
Final Stats and Standings 1985 thru 2016
plus various Newsletters & League Info

Scroll down to see standings in reverse cronological order
or simply click on the year below.
 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001
2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 1993 1992 1991
1990 1989 1988 1987 1986 1985

 
End of Year Summation
Drew Gallagher, 10/03/17
Fall is my wife’s favorite season. However, when I go to the bank and start writing checks to people other than myself the foliage starts to lose part of its attraction. This time every year there is a part of my wife that wishes she was married to Chris because he usually gets a big check (provided he doesn’t lose it). Although I have not gone on the web site (www.yourpalchrismal.com) to confirm it, I have to believe that Chris’ 77 total points is an ESL record. Do the math, there were three points total that he did not get for 2017. And while that is impressive and might be a bit daunting (Caps could have a lot of fun with that line), take comfort in the fact that a vast majority of Chris’ roster is gone for 2018 including our final Astro holdout—George Springer. Rick, who held on for 4th place, already feels that 2018 will be his year and might need to change his team name to something that puts Trea Turner on the plateau he so richly deserves. (Believe it or not, I think he has Puig for another year!) Menage a Trea works for me.

Speed will be available in next spring’s draft since both Dee Gordon and Billy Hamilton are back in. Rick should bid on both of them.

Caps gets the first pick in the reserve draft and hopefully takes next year’s Cody Bellinger instead of next year’s Lewis Brinson. Maybe Brinson will be traded back to an American League team now that the Brewers have a ton of outfield depth. I’m a genius.

Marty finished in second place but he’s going to need to plug the holes left by Giancarlo and Charlie Blackmon (Geez, the 2018 draft is looking deep already).
The Chuck N Ducks registered their highest finish ever by coming in third based almost solely on a pitching staff that Chucked but rarely Ducked. Like the two owners above him, he’s going to have to replace some valuable pieces in Tommy Pham and Ender Inciarte (more speed in the draft).

Rick finished 4th and can actually extend Trea Turner for 51 years according to my long division, but he would have to get rid of Puig and any other player who was not $1.

Dale finished 5th, denying me a shot at a payday. (My wife already likes him better than me.) My hunch is that the 43 points for 5th place is one of the lowest point totals ever for a money position but that is a byproduct of a team finishing with 77 points! He loses Tony Two Bags for 2018 (again, a hanging curveball for Caps). Also guessing that he cuts ties with Starling “Just Say No” Marte (more speed in the 2018 draft).

Blair has Rhys Hoskins so nothing else in the world matters. Get that man a bobblehead!

Robbie has Scooter Gennett (.295, 27 homers and 97 RBIs). How on earth did that happen? Perhaps what is more impressive is that Robbie kept him.

[Payouts] will be mailed after I get to the bank and field another round of questions as to why I never win. It’s great fun. Really.

I assume all owners will be returning for 2018, but if that changes please let me know and I’ll laugh at you for thinking that decision is yours.
 

Final 2017 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
77 .2674
8
388
10
1250
10
193
10
103
10
75
9
3.75
10
1.250
10
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
55.5 .2665
7
344
9
1041
8
113
6
82
4.5
66
5
3.95
8
1.274
8
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
49.5 .2702
10
231
4
924
4
94
3.5
98
9
35
3
3.82
9
1.281
7
Rick FrantzFeed the Puig
Rick Frantz
44 .2641
5
299
7
1038
7
191
9
73
1
50
4
4.00
6
1.330
5
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
43 .2652
6
220
2
818
3
78
2
97
8
68
6
3.99
7
1.263
9
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
42 .2602
3
309
8
1082
9
114
7
75
2
31
2
4.06
5
1.284
6
Blair DeWaltBlair Pitch Project
Blair DeWalt
42 .2617
4
287
6
952
5
96
5
93
7
107
10
4.64
2
1.363
3
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
34.5 .2700
9
221
3
749
2
70
1
82
4.5
69
7
4.42
4
1.341
4
Rob MillerReservoir Dogs
Rob Miller
33 .2563
1
278
5
1027
6
131
8
76
3
70
8
4.71
1
1.417
1
Captain Save-a-hoSloppy 2nd-Basemen
Mike Capilo
19.5 .2597
2
165
1
652
1
94
3.5
85
6
4
1
4.44
3
1.387
2

 
Congratulations to Slickers!
Drew Gallagher, 10/04/16
Well, the roto gods smiled on Marty in 2016. No reversed trades at the deadline, and a first place finish. The Question Marks, with just over a week to go, looked to be zeroing in on a title when everyone of Marty’s pitchers got two wins over the last week of the season and he leapfrogged a number of teams in the wins category to finish in first.

I would like to again offer up this simple draft day advice: drafting in a room with both your father and son on a different team is not ideal. Drafting next to Robbie, high on cough medicine, also does not appear to be ideal.
Worst luck of the season was an easy one in 2016—Chuck N Ducks landing AJ Pollack mere hours before he essentially was lost for the season. No draft strategy or free agent pickup can compensate for that loss before the season starts.

Hope everyone will be returning for 2017 and let the trading begin!
 

Final 2016 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
65 .2638
6
312
10
1077
10
116
3
93
9
99
9
3.36
9
1.215
9
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
63 .2694
8
243
6
1012
8
133
5
92
8
86
8
3.34
10
1.212
10
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
56.5 .2678
7
296
8
1034
9
150
8
88
5.5
119
10
3.95
5
1.290
4
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
55 .2752
10
239
5
960
4
165
10
87
4
65
7
3.71
7
1.225
8
Captain Save-a-hoSloppy 2nd-Basemen
Mike Capilo
43.5 .2555
4
291
7
1000
6
138
6
88
5.5
57
6
4.14
4
1.278
5
Rob MillerReservoir Dogs
Rob Miller
38.5 .2606
5
232
4
966
5
142
7
105
10
27
1.5
4.35
3
1.365
3
Blair DeWaltBlair Pitch Project
Blair DeWalt
35.5 .2707
9
298
9
1010
7
131
4
81
3
27
1.5
4.76
1
1.389
1
Rick FrantzFeed the Puig
Rick Frantz
33 .2539
3
179
1
653
1
164
9
59
1
29
3
3.69
8
1.240
7
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
31 .2526
2
188
3
727
2
69
1
89
7
30
1
3.87
6
1.259
6
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
19 .2511
1
182
2
741
3
88
2
70
2
47
5
4.52
2
1.381
2

 
Break Up the Dynasty
Drew Gallagher, 10/05/15
Yes, they are starting to use the D word in the land of the Druids (and no, Caps, not Dickhead) after clinching their third title in 31 years in a worst to first one year turnaround! Former Druid player and current Druid manager for life, Tim Wallach, couldn’t help but dream between sips of the cheapest champagne they have at Giant.

“It’s hard not to compare this squad to some of those old Yankee teams,” said an ebullient Wallach. “But then again, I’m pretty drunk.”

Amid the locker room celebration, there was one player noticeably absent from the festivities and Wallach was quite candid about his absence.

“Yeah, Casey Janssen’s not here. The players took a vote and said he had to sit in the hallway if we won the pennant. I mean come on, the guy practically handed the Slickers the championship every time he came on in relief. He should get a portion of the Slickers’ second place money. We got Kershaw, Cole and Lester pitching their asses off down the stretch and that buffoon could undo a Kershaw line by facing just three batters. The GM missed on that one. Case was easily our Least Valuable Player. What a dick.”

Wallach, however, was quick to praise the GM for picking up Justin Bour: “Is his first name Justin? I really have no idea since I would simply see Bour in the box score. He should change his name to Jason Bourne though. What a freaking stud. Can’t believe he’s not on Malinowski’s team frankly. He must’ve been on vacation that Sunday or doing laundry to get bird crap off his shirt.

When asked about the possibilities of repeating in 2016 Wallach became philosophical or was just simply slurring a little less.
“Look Perk went back to back and that was more improbable than the Astros making the playoffs or Trent Dilfer winning a Super Bowl or Ric Ocasik marrying a super model. If Perk could do it so can we. Although not having Kershaw pitching every fifth day might be a problem. Where is Kersh by the way? Is the owner still holding him in a bear hug and kissing him? Geez, someone tell the owner to put his clothes back on. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.”

So two original owners have now gone back to back so there is hope for the Reservoir Dogs in 2016 since Chris now only finishes third. Congratulations to Marty on second place even though we screwed him out of Ryan Zimmerman for the few weeks he was healthy. I’m afraid to do the calculations, but I hope Zimm would not have made up the five-point difference in the standings.

And of particular note is the finish of The Blair Pitch Project in their first season in the league! They took Kris Bryant and a bunch of other non-keepers that caused Mal and Perk to quit the league and somehow, improbably, cashed. Rumor is that the $105.00 in winnings is going to a papier mache likeness of Kris Bryant that he will take everywhere with him. It’s unfortunate that he doesn’t get to keep Bryant next year…(just screwing with you Blair).

I’ll be sending out the checks sometime in the near future after I get to the bank and pay off some gambling debts so send me your addresses and I’ll get them to you before Winterburn would have. If for some reason, you are not planning on returning to the league please let me know so I can smack you around and then try to find a replacement if Tom Holland is unavailable.
 

Final 2015 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
62.5 .2659
8
232
6
999
10
141
8
85
5.5
61
2
3.33
10
1.181
9
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
58 .2591
3
239
9.5
897
6
104
2.5
102
9
91
9
3.35
9
1.164
10
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
54.5 .2610
4
236
8
947
9
227
10
85
5.5
150
10
3.64
5
1.292
3
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
53 .2616
5
209
4
886
5
154
9
89
7
70
7
3.42
8
1.218
8
Blair DeWaltBlair Pitch Project
Blair DeWalt
49 .2693
9
234
7
933
8
127
6
106
10
44
4
3.99
3
1.327
2
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
44.5 .2702
10
239
9.5
906
7
85
1
72
2
35
3
3.52
7
1.254
5
Rob MillerReservoir Dogs
Rob Miller
42 .2648
6
228
5
882
4
107
5
101
8
74
8
4.01
2
1.284
4
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
32.5 .2587
2
193
3
817
3
104
2.5
82
4
48
5
3.61
6
1.227
7
Captain Save-a-hoBaseball Caps
Mike Capilo
26 .2584
1
166
2
666
1
132
7
75
3
29
2
3.68
4
1.232
6
Rick FrantzFeed the Puig
Rick Frantz
18 .2658
7
159
1
735
2
105
4
59
1
13
1
3.81
1*
1.274
1*

Final 2014 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Captain Save-a-hoBaseball Caps
Mike Capilo
69 .2824
10
191
7
832
6
186
9
128
10
81
7
2.98
10
1.122
10
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
63 .2525
3
236
9
951
9
230
10
115
9
133
10
3.37
7
1.215
6
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
57.5 .2599
7
181
4.5
846
8
143
8
115
9
133
10
3.37
7
1.215
6
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
53 .2571
5
242
10
1051
10
136
7
92
7
55
5
3.55
5
1.266
4
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
52 .2674
9
162
3
711
3
122
5
89
6
102
9
3.19
8
1.167
9
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
49 .2571
6
205
8
838
7
120
4
110
8
32
3
3.44
6
1.196
7
Rick FrantzFeed the Puig
Rick Frantz
41.5 .2671
8
181
4.5
819
5
124
6
65
3
74
6
3.62
4
1.257
5
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
22 .2516
2
189
6
722
4
87
2
62
2
26
2
3.86
2
1.328
2
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
21.5 .2549
4
161
2
692
2
87
2
73
4
42
4
4.16
1
1.361
1
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
13 .2507
1
154
1
680
1
87
2
57
1
4
1
3.83
3
1.316
3

 
King Richard I
Drew Gallagher, 10/11/13
Gentlemen:

Not for the first time, the ESL mirrored Major League baseball in some ways. Oddsmakers made Mal’s team the heavy early, middle and late favorite to win the ESL. His young Nationals’ talent would equal or out produce their counterparts in Washington. Well, they did equal the Strasburg and Harper Nats, but that was only good enough for second place as Rick passed him on the strength of a Henderson Alvarez no-hitter on the final day to take first place and his first-ever ESL crown. Mal’s season was marred by injuries and 2014 is already falling into the same predictable pattern as Matt Harvey has already been declared out for the season.

The top-5 was rounded out by Chris, Jamie and Marty. I finished ahead of my father which won me a case of beer, but it’s going to take more than that to get over Matt Kemp for the second year in a row.

Drew Gallagher
 

Final 2013 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Rick FrantzFeed the Puig
Rick Frantz
65.5 .2679
10
243
8.5
980
9
101
4
100
9
60
5
3.23
10
1.184
10
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
64.5 .2711
8
243
8.5
990
10
138
6
92
7
86
9
3.36
9
1.214
7
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
60 .2578
5
200
5
806
6
172
10
114
10
78
7
3.41
8
1.204
9
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
57 .2753
9
212
7
915
7
140
7
93
8
74
6
3.51
7
1.231
6
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
50 .2586
7
247
10
974
8
148
9
86
5
58
4
3.75
3
1.241
4
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
41 .2520
3
175
3
721
3
80
2
90
6
91
10
3.67
6
1.212
8
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
33 .2582
6
186
4
785
5
146
8
70
2
27
3
3.81
2
1.272
3
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
31 .2507
2
202
6
736
4
111
5
83
3
82
8
3.99
1
1.322
2
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
22 .2499
1
153
2
626
1
82
3
84
4
14
2
3.72
4
1.238
5
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
16 .2556
4
152
1
681
2
74
1
69
1
12
1
3.69
5
1.343
1

Final 2012 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
65 .2733
9
238
7
1009
10
158
5
105
9
110
10
3.74
6
1.230
9
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
60 .2680
8
239
8
943
5
176
6
99
7
71
6
3.49
10
1.213
10
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
55.5 .2750
10
260
10
999
9
224
9
94
4.5
100
8
4.04
2
1.302
3
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
47 .2573
2
244
9
952
7
185
7
91
3
93
7
3.72
7
1.272
5
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
Ellen Gallagher
47 .2637
5
231
6
980
8
238
10
97
6
61
5
3.87
3
1.282
5
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
45 .2467
1
221
4
905
4
191
8
106
10
24
2
3.68
8
1.239
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
41.5 .2631
4
187
3
775
2
116
3
94
4.5
101
9
3.68
9
1.250
7
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
38 .2653
6
227
5
945
6
138
4
101
8
32
3
3.79
4
1.302
2
Rick FrantzBeachrats
Rick Frantz
31 .2673
7
175
2
848
3
93
2
71
2
54
4
3.75
5
1.272
6
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
10 .2605
3
163
1
683
1
81
1
69
1
1
1
4.31
1
1.378
1

 
Great Scottsmen
Drew Gallagher,
9/30/11
Gentlemen:

The 27th year of the ESL has wrapped up and with it we are crowning our ninth different champion in Dale King Scott. The championship was well-deserved despite the troubling decision to start Brett Myers on the final day of the season. But for that, the Question Marks are eternally grateful and, in all probability, so should our Pal. Myers’ atrocious outing (well documented for Phillie fans) allowed both Mark and Chris to pass Dale in ERA on the final day. That coupled with my team’s remarkable 4 for 48 effort on the final day allowed the Question Marks to leap into a three-way tie for third place which, I believe, is unprecedented in the history of the league. So without further adieu I take you to the Scottsmen’s press conference and locker room celebration.

Dale Scott walks to the podium wearing nothing but Ryan Braun boxer shorts.

Reporter: “Dale, didn’t bring a change of clothes for post celebration?”

Dale: “What? Oh, you mean the outfit? No, I usually wear just underwear around the clubhouse. Shoot if I had been drinking champagne instead of Dale’s Pale Ale I’d probably be naked right now.”

(Sound of many journalists throwing up a little bit in their mouths.)

Reporter: “So how does it feel to finally win after all of these years?”

Dale: “Well first I’d like to thank my lord and savior, Ryan Braun. Water into wine? Try hitting 33 bombs and stealing 33 bases. You’re not going to find those types of numbers in Corinthians. Parting the Red Sea? Pretty cool but not as cool as fucking Bernie Brewer coming down the slide!”

Reporter: ̶ 0;Speaking of Braun, he’s going back into the draft next season. Is there any scenario you can envision where he is not a Scottsmen?”
Dale: “No.”

Reporter: “Seriously? I mean, unless Mal flies off to South Africa again next year to miss the World Cup, you don’t envision him trying to screw you on Braun by opening the bidding at, say, 65?”

Dale: “I stand by my prior response. No. My face will turn bright red and I’ll bid 66. Might be best if Mal just stays home again this year.”

Reporter: “You really think any player is worth that kind of money after the flame out failures of Pujols and Hanley this season?”

Dale: “I didn’t say Braun was worth 66. I think he’s worth more than that and will bid more if necessary. Look, I’ll put this into perspective for you guys. My only daughter is going off to college next year. She is the light of my life and I’ll be devastated when she leaves home. But the sadness I’ll feel at my daughter’s departure doesn’t eve n compare to Brauny leaving. If he leaves, a part of me dies. And I mean a good part like my penis.”

So will 2012 bring our 10th different champion? The morning line has Mal’s squad as the current favorites. He has amassed a list of keepers as deep as any in recent memory. Only problem is that he will likely trade most of those keepers before Thanksgiving--at least those not named Bryce Harper. (At this point I’d like to interject that Marty said that Bryce Harper couldn’t carry Kyle Blanks’ jockstrap.)

Payouts were $934.20 to Dale, $519.00 to your s truly and $207.60 each to Chris, Mark and Jamie.

The offseason has now begun for those of us who are Red Sox fans. The talent again appears to be well spread throughout the 10 ESL teams. And for those who might be looking for that oh so rare blend of speed, power and batting average my sources tell me that there is a kid by the name of Braun who will be there for the taking in April. Just be prepared to say 67.
 

Final 2011 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
63 .2826
10
233
7
986
8
171
7
106
9
89
6
3.46
8
1.238
8
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
59.5 .2615
6
278
10
1100
10
185
9
83
5.5
92
8
3.55
7
1.289
4
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
57 .2485
1
237
8
956
7
126
3
111
10
95
9
3.45
9
1.227
10
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
57 .2597
5
239
9
1016
9
202
10
82
4
103
10
3.65
5
1.282
5
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
57 .2618
7
212
5
922
6
177
8
103
8
90
7
3.43
10
1.264
6
Rick FrantzBeachrats
Rick Frantz
46 .2592
4
216
6
894
5
152
4
95
7
85
5
3.58
6
1.230
9
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
34.5 .2734
9
158
3
708
3
113
2
83
5.5
8
1
3.73
4
1.252
7
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
25 .2511
2
190
4
834
4
158
5
69
1
51
4
3.99
2
1.304
3
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
Ellen Gallagher
21 .2516
3
136
2
598
1
159
6
80
2
9
2
3.77
3
1.319
2
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
Tom Gallagher
20 .2627
8
135
1
683
2
71
1
81
3
34
3
4.23
1
1.357
1

 
Beach Rats Press Release
Drew Gallagher, 11/30/10
November, 30, 2010__Fredericksburg, VA: In response to the Rockies’ signing of Troy Tulowitzki to a 10-year contract, Beachrats’ owner Rick Franz had this to say: “Look, I’ll be bidding on Tulo like everyone else at the draft, but 10 years is just a down payment on the kind of contract we are talking with CarGo.”

Speculation has run rampant this offseason that Carlos Gonzalez was going to get the longest contract ever handed out in the ESL, but after this morning’s comments from Franz some salary cap experts have
started to calculate how many years Franz could go and still field a team around him. If Franz wants to retain some talent to go with CarGo the general thinking is that he could go 38 years and make him $200.

Jamie has contacted onroto to see if there is a way to show a salary that will, essentially, have to double up on the alphabet. “We hope to hear from onroto in the next few days,” Schlesinger said.

We will continue to follow this story through roster freeze deadline in March.
 
End of Season Report
Drew Gallagher, 10/05/10
Gentlemen,

Come every October the leaves begin to change color and the Virginia Tech Hokies lose to a team they shouldn’t have. Another autumnal rite of passage is the Malcontents atop the ESL. For the 15th time in 26 seasons, Chris cashed the winner’s check and thanks to a switch in stat services it is the largest prize payout ever at $922.50. Both of his girls might now be able to go to college.

Jamie had built his team for 2010 and it almost paid off as the race wound down but ultimately Chris prevailed by a rather wide margin. Congratulations to the Scottsmen for finishing third and The Slickers for finishing 4th. The Beach Rats rounded out the money spots by finishing 5th.

In setting a precedent I hope to never repeat the Druids finished last for the second year in a row. What is remarkable about that finish is that Richie Weeks, Scott Rolen and Jay Bruce all had phenomenally productive years. So what exactly happened?

Manager for Life, Tim Wallach, had this observation: “Look, we needed more money to make this team competitive but instead of going out and spending it management decided that a $10 million gold statue at the entrance to Druid Park was more important. That statue, much like its real life counterpart, couldn’t go out and pitch every fifth day so we’re stuck with Zach Duke, Randy Wells and John Lannan on the bump. That statue, like Matt Gamel and Kyle Blanks, couldn’t play the field so we’ve got Jody Gerut getting meaningful at bats. It’s a travesty. This is the organization that once upon a time drafted Barry Bonds as a minor leaguer and now we’re getting looks at Ryan Rohlinger in June.”

If Wallach is looking for a reason for optimism he can take heart in the names that will be entering this year’s draft:

Justin Upton, Chris Young, Troy Tulowitzki, Hanley Ramirez (*--see 2 below), Corey Hart, Heath Bell, Albert Pujols, Adrian Gonzalez, Brandon Phillips, Prince Fielder to name a few.

Other things to look for in the offseason:

1. The Beach Rats are contemplating making Carlos Gonzalez the first $100 dollar man. He would become the first L18 in the history of the ESL.

2. The Toilets searching the ESL constitution for language that may allow them to extend Hanley Ramirez despite his L1 status.

3. A bunch of really bad teams heading into 2011. The talent appears to be spread thin throughout the league with the possible exception of Chris’ pitching staff and Dale’s stranglehold on Padre middle relievers.
4. A grandfather who really loves his grandson in the Chuck N Ducks building their squad around Kung Fu Panda which my son thinks is pretty cool.

5. Mal jetting off to California to hook up with Rihanna. From Mal: “Yes, I’m a married man with a young daughter and I love both of them very much. But the fact of the matter is that once that guy started getting laid he stopped producing at the plate. He needs to focus on being a Simon and if it takes me bending her over the hood of my car on Sunset Boulevard for all the world to see so be it. I’m willing to take that bullet.” (For what it’s worth, I’m willing to take that bullet for Mal as well.)

6. Mark Bennett getting his vasectomy reversed and trying for child number five under the auspices of him wanting a daughter when in actuality he just wants another kid so he can name him Mike Stanton and cuddle with him and give him little kisses rather than the bobblehead he keeps in his special place.

7. Perk waking up some cold morning in February and realizing that David Eckstein is his lone offensive keeper. Unfortunately after this realization he lives out his own version of “Groundhog Day” and wakes up every morning realizing that David Eckstein is his lone offensive keeper until draft day.

Remember, Major League Baseball wants to move the season up in 2011 so we may be drafting a little earlier next year. Check those calendars and see if there are any conflicts (Dale, I know your wife turns 39 again sometime in early April and you’re heading off to sand and sun with a much more expensive Albert Pujols in tow).

Dale has already selected Bryce Harper with the first overall pick in the 2011 supplemental draft.

If there are any issues you’d like to put to a vote by the league let me or young James know and we’ll try to compile a survey if need be. I think Jamie is going to purge the onroto rosters shortly so get one final look at Kosuke Fukudome and then ask yourself how that guy ever became an “O” in the first place. Same with Mike Fontenot. Is it really any wonder that the Cubs still can’t win a World Series?

And lastly, The Druids are considering another statue this offseason: “We think Jose Tabata could be a special player. As long as he stays with his current wife we think he will continue to hit and steal bases and try to spend as much time at the park as possible. If he dumps her for Rihanna then we’ll have to rethink that stance."

Drew Gallagher
 

Final 2010 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
70.5 .2767
10
291
10
1197
10
186
9
108
10
74
7.5
3.63
9
1.274
7
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
62 .2653
6
253
9
1112
9
204
10
102
6
102
10
3.73
7
1.323
5
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
57.5 .2689
7
241
7
987
7
138
6
107
8.5
53
4
3.66
8
1.232
10
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
55 .2726
9
202
5
940
6
156
8
106
7
40
2
3.50
10
1.257
8
Rick FrantzBeachrats
Rick Frantz
51.5 .2695
8
249
8
1017
8
132
4.5
95
5
75
9
3.92
3
1.286
6
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
43 .2583
4
224
6
930
5
98
3
107
8.5
74
7.5
3.74
6
1.335
3
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
Tom Gallagher
31 .2521
1
182
2
846
4
71
1
82
3
71
6
3.76
5
1.253
9
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
25 .2558
2
185
3
819
3
150
7
91
4
41
3
4.33
1
1.381
2
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
24.5 .2567
3
173
1
708
1
132
4.5
73
2
65
5
3.77
4
1.330
4
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
18 .2599
5
187
4
782
2
92
2
67
1
28
1
4.04
2
1.382
1

 
Perk Is Cut Off
Mal Maher, 5/18/10
Throughout the course of history, the ESL league has realities and each player has SOP's (standard operating procedures.) I've summarized each GM's trading profile below. Enjoy the read.

Before I go off on a tangent. Perk go fuck yourself. Now that I've sealed my own fate let's move on.

1. ChrisMal seems to have the ability to hoard talent and an edge over everyone else with draft picks, free agents, etc. He'll never make an even trade but that's what makes him the George Steinbrenner of this league.

2. Drew is all talk. Talk trade trade trade and well nothing happens. He's nice to your face and stabs you whenever he can with insults. I'm currently in therapy after the harassing/beating i took at the draft. Just in case you missed my above comment, perk..go fuck yourself.

3. Chuck God bless him is up for anything at anytime... His quotes and emails are at times beyond understanding but Chuck is a mover and shaker. Love him.

4. Jamie I can't even discuss now because our situation is heading for an infringement lawsuit.
5. Marty...I'll be a SOB he asks me for a starter then 24 hours later doesn't want a starter because his leppers put together a few good starts. BRIGHT SIDE: Marty emailed me back more than once AND actually has shown signs of trading life.

6. Rick ...new guy in a word sucks. "Hi I'm Rick and I want to trade...PSYCH, no i don't"

7. Mr. Bennett....my boy never a harsh word

8. Dale...smooth and steady Dale. Can't say a damn thing about Dale. I'd like to say "I love dale he always sends offers and is up for trades but he's not." Dale is our vanilla ice cream. No flavors, no fun, but no staining either. Dale comes home from work with no skidmarks on the undies. He's cleaner than a twice a day tested Manny Ramirez.

9. Me I'm a complete lunatic and push the panic button but i'm a realist. My hitters suck and i have arms.....just like 1/2 the teams in this league have no arms and a ton of hitting. Simple solution??? BALANCE YOUR ROSTERS!!! but I'm the lunatic? tell you what 2 months from now when you have no shot moving up the pitching categories remember this email.

10. Perk...you're dead to me
 
Ownership Change
Drew Gallagher, 1/08/10
Gentlemen,

Paul has decided that the ESL was taking a little too much of his time and has opted to ply his National League talents elsewhere. Fortunately, Rick Franz who has been in the ASL for a few years now, took over the much-maligned franchise earlier today. Rick quickly held a press conference before Daniel Snyder could find a reason to attend and stand at the podium with Rick. His comments were brief but pointed:

“I figure if Perk can win this league then I should be able to win it too.”

Although he has two very cheap closers (including a very personal attachment to Leo Nunez that goes back to his days in Kansas City), his reasoning for accepting ownership was based on something that can’t be measured:
“Some might’ve viewed this as an opportunity to add Mal as a friend on Facebook, but I viewed it as an opportunity to draft Melky Cabrera.”

Rick intends to spend the next few days hoping that Orlando Hudson signs with an NL team and fully relishing the trade rumors surrounding Jorge Cantu this offseason.

And I would be remiss in not reminding everyone that draft day is April 9th at 5 PM. In news related to the earlier start time, Mal trades the Druids Mike Stanton for a Fudgie the Whale cake.

To all, a good weekend. Go Iggles!
 

Final 2009 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
63.5 .269
8
265
7
1087
9
193
9
97
8
56
5.5
3.80
8
1.27
9
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
58 .265
4
271
8
1056
6
197
10
97
8
61
7
4.06
7
1.30
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
55 .275
9
293
10
1135
10
132
4
104
10
90
9
4.40
2
1.41
1
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
54 .264
3
245
5
1082
8
149
8
97
8
47
2
3.22
10
1.23
10
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
Tom Gallagher
51 .269
7
246
6
1072
7
70
1
94
6
64
8
3.72
9
1.32
7
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
47 .278
10
200
3
949
4
139
6
92
5
98
10
4.25
4
1.38
5
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
36.5 .263
2
278
9
1054
5
137
5
90
4
56
5.5
4.34
3
1.38
3
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
33 .268
6
134
1
739
1
142
7
81
3
54
4
4.24
5
1.37
6
Paul RosaU.S.A. Forces
Paul Rosa
Jack Mitchell
29 .266
5
201
4
837
3
123
3
66
1
51
3
4.16
6
1.38
4
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
13 .261
1
187
2
827
2
81
2
70
2
37
1
4.48
1
1.39
2

 
Threepeat?
Drew Gallagher,
9/29/08
PRESS RELEASE

September 28, 2008; Millwood, VA:

Perkolators' owner and Tim Lincecum fluffer, Jon Perkins was photographed today holding a bottle of Korbell in one hand and raising his middle finger on the other hand as he put lovechild Ryan Theriot in a bear hug. When asked if the finger was directed at anyone in particular he responded:

"The finger is for threepeat! You tell the rest of the ESL that we'll be holding a clinic before next year's draft on how to win back to back championships. So the finger is merely a symbol of success and not directed at anyone in particular. Now that you mention it though…tell those fifth-place Scottsmen it's for them."

Perk then took a long swing of champagne before wrestling Kevin Kouzmanoff to the floor and tickling his belly.

Thus endeth the first repeat championship in the ESL since the Malcontents did it many years ago. And the championship was not without some last day stress. Had the Malcontents gotten another hit or two on Sunday they likely would've passed the Chuck N Ducks in batting average and only needed to salvage a half point elsewhere in the standings to tie for first. When the skintight standings were broached with an increasingly drunk Perkins he had this to say:

"A couple of hits? Come on, this team was built to withstand all comers from the outset. I admit that I made quite a few shrewd moves along the way, not the least of which was Fernando Tatis, but we coasted down the stretch. This team was a better investment than my 401K. And please remind Dale that this middle finger is for him…"
The race for first place did come down to the last day of the season but the race for the third place literally came down to one of the last innings played in the regular season. When Delwyn Young pinch-hit in the ninth inning of the Dodger game yesterday the Druids' season hung in the balance. The Druids trailed Marty in batting average by mere percentage points. If Delwyn had made an out Marty would've beat Drew in average and tied Mal for fifth place and the Druids would've tied the Scottsmen for third place. Instead, Mr. Young doubled to deep rightfield and the Druids' batting average cleared Marty by one hit. If the Mets had won yesterday it all may have hinged upon a Endy Chavez pinch-hit appearance today. What might've been...

Congratulations to all of the money winners and thanks to all three of the new owners for making the league as competitive as it has been in recent memory. Paul made a run at the money while still managing to stow away some nice players for next year. The Question Marks and Chuck N Ducks retooled their rosters extensively at the trade deadline and both are loaded with keepers for 2009. (And thanks to my Dad for beating Dale by one very important RBI.)

Payouts will be issued in something approximating real time and not Winterburn time.

I enjoyed the season and will now begin my six-month quest to get Shane Victorino back where he belongs. And please let me finish by uttering the phrase that Mal has been dying to hear: "Let the trades begin."
 


 

Final 2008 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
59.5 .267
2
263
6
1072
8
175
9
97
8
62
6.5
3.79
10
1.252
10
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
58 .268
4
291
10
1197
10
135
5
108
9
80
10
4.08
4
1.337
6
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
50 .275
8
230
3
998
4
185
10
76
2
75
9
4.03
6
1.327
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
49 .275
9
271
8
1008
5
148
7
109
10
64
8
4.61
1
1.430
1
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
45 .277
10
245
5
1094
9
129
4
93
6
59
5
4.14
3
1.348
3
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
44 .274
7
243
4
1017
7
155
8
88
5
52
4
4.06
5
1.347
4
Paul RosaU.S.A. Forces
Paul Rosa
Jack Mitchell
40 .261
1
286
9
987
3
91
1
96
7
50
3
3.99
7
1.317
9
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
35 .271
6
207
2
981
2
128
3
84
4
44
2
3.83
9
1.335
7
Mark BennettQuestion Marks
Mark Bennett
33.5 .267
3
166
1
766
1
136
6
80
3
62
6.5
3.99
8
1.346
5
Chuck GallagherChuck & Duck
Chuck Gallagher
Tom Gallagher
26 .268
5
267
7
1009
6
118
2
68
1
23
1
4.34
2
1.417
2


 

 
2007 Annual Winter Rankings
Jamie Schlesinger, 11/16/07
*I will summarize the 3 other teams once we know what is going on.

Jamie
Offense: B
Decent core of Wright, Loney and Drew (assuming he picks up where he left off in the playoffs). Reynolds could be valuable if Tracy gets moved. I have some other question marks who could be starters with Ortmeier $2, T Abreu $5, Headley $7, Keppinger $5 and Burke $8.

Starting Pitching: D
All I can say is I have Billingsley and possibly Villaneuva.

Closers: B
Izzy $17 had a nice season and is a good value assuming he is healthy. I hope one of Howry and Marmol is the closer as Dempster is supposedly in the rotation.

Minors: B-
Rasmus is young and could be patrolling CF in July.

Chris Mal
Offense: A
Phenominal OF lead by Byrnes and Young (thanks Mal for making the rich richer). Trades may be down fall with Kemp and Quentin in many packages.

Starting Pitching: D-
Might have one SP keeper if Bush is traded and Pelfrey goes to the pen.

Closers: A
May have 3 cheap closers with Valverde, Corpas and possibly Linebrink.

Minors: A
Votto, Gomez, Bruce and Bailey may start the year in the NL.

Drew
Offense: C+
Basically five keeper options at this point lead by a cheap Uggla and a $10 Victorino.

Starting Pitching: C
No head toppers but decent value in Gorzelanny and Maine.

Closers: D-
None but potentially Fuentes could find a role if he is traded.

Minors: None
Marty
Offense: A
Love the core of Phillips, McCann, A Gonzalez, Pence and Hart for under $35. You certainly have room to move someone like Hawpe for a SP and do yourself a favor with pitching.

Starting Pitching: D-
I must admit Looper was actually not terrible.

Closers: B
I do not want to talk about Weathers.

Minors: C
Kershaw is a great prospect but not sure he makes the staff so he could become a $10 rookie SP. Gonzalez is a nice prospect too but no place to play at the moment. He also seems to be trade bait for Arizona.

Perk

Offense: B-
Certainly could have some cheap SB value potentially with The Riot, Bourn, Weeks and Davis (if he gets PT). Not a whole lot of power but you could make that up at the draft given you have a ton of value at pitcher.

Starting Pitching: A
Incredibly cheap good young SP with the only reason you do not get an A+ is Sabean saying Lincecum is available. $12 could fill up your whole starting staff on draft day and still finish toward the top in the major categories.

Closers: A+
Three potential closers for $8, wow. We all hope the Astros sign a closer to give us a chance.

Minors: D-
At least you have nothing here.

Mal
Offense: C+
Solid base with the #1 catcher and a solid OF in Francoeur but a lot of ? after that. Hamilton could make the grade in the B range.

Starting Pitching: A-
Nice SP staff lead by the Cy Young winner, Young and Mal’s messiah Gallardo. Olsen blew up in the wrong way in 2007, not sure he is a keeper because he is such a head case.

Closers: B-
Wilson at a buck could be a nice cheap closer after that not much there.

Minors: B
Lots of options but most of them have high salaries but one or two may help in 2008.
 

Final 2007 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
59 .274
5
221
3
984
4
200
10
105
10
74
9
4.00
9
1.31
9
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
56.5 .278
8
269
7
1173
8
159
7
102
8.5
62
5
4.07
7
1.33
6
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
55.5 .280
10
320
10
1256
10
191
9
99
7
69
6.5
4.67
1
1.41
2
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
46 .275
6
295
8
1103
7
154
6
89
6
53
4
4.24
4
1.35
5
The Maher of SimpletonThe Simons
Mal Maher
44 .267
1
150
1
817
1
176
8
86
5
72
8
3.67
10
1.27
10
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
43 .274
4
299
9
1235
9
129
4
77
3
77
10
4.35
3
1.41
1
SweetheartGerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
39.5 .279
9
233
4
863
3
133
5
59
1
43
1.5
4.04
8
1.31
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
38 .271
2
250
5
1027
5
121
3
102
8.5
43
1.5
4.16
6
1.33
7
Captain Save-a-hoBaseball Caps
Mike Capilo
31 .276
7
261
6
1028
6
116
2
69
2
50
3
4.54
2
1.39
3
Mike MoyerMillersville Sluggers
Mike Moyer
Josh Keller
27.5 .273
3
183
2
833
2
66
1
83
4
69
6.5
4.20
5
1.38
4

 
The Return of the Baseball Caps!
Drew Gallagher, 1/15/07
Gentlemen,

Wanted to let everyone know that one of the ESL’s original 10 owners has agreed to return to the ESL for the 2007 season. Mr. Winterburn has opted to not return and so Mike Capilo will be taking over his team.

I have known Mike for 30 years and never once has he come close to finishing in the money in the ESL. His modest goals for the upcoming season are to break the Millersville Sluggers modest run of mediocrity and finish in the sixth place spot just out of the money.

Please allow Mike some time to digest his team (Jamie, this means you) and figure out who the hell some of these players are. His first order of business will be to make a trade with Perk for Matt Capps. His second order of business will be to put Scott Olsen on The Maher of Simpleton’s team so he stops bugging the rest of us.

Winterburn will be missed (I think he may have been the third longest tenured member of the league) but he ultimately decided that there were more important things in life than waiting on Felix Pie to finally make the majors.

Your once and future king.

Drew
 
Ownership Change in ESL
Drew Gallagher, 12/18/06
Gentlemen,

It is with some reservations that I introduce a new owner to replace Zo who has opted for early retirement from the ESL.

There are a couple of reasons for trepidation but the major two are:

1. He went to college with Jamie and still remains in close contact with Jamie

2. His name is Mal and any further association with that moniker gives me pause in the light of Chris’ continued dominance of the league

He at least started off by asking me to thank all of you for allowing him to join the league (as if that is some coveted position). He promises to be very active and denies that there is any truth to the rumor that Jamie required the rights to David Wright before submitting his name for ESL consideration.

Zo’s formidable presence will be missed on the floor of my parents’ house this draft day but Mal has already asked when he should send in his entrance fees for 2007. Apparently he understands that making transactions is important for franchise success.

And speaking of entrance fees, if anyone sees Scott Winterburn or has heard from him regarding payment of winnings please let me know. It is unfortunate that payout of winnings appears to be close to a Christmas miracle this year.

Thanks,
Drew
 
2006 Annual Winter Rankings
Jamie Schlesinger, 12/11/06
As I did last off season I put together the off season power rankings (because I would rather do this than work). I will do it a little differently and give grades vs rankings.

Jamie
Strength: Lots of Middle Infielders (Drew, Weeks, Burke, Durham, Furcal, Carroll and Izturis) and a solid offensive core with Cabrera and Francoeur for under $25. If I can find a team looking for some offense we can probably make a move or two to help each other out.

Weakness: No closer and no stud ace. My boy is off to better things and Turnblow is still trying to find the strike zone.

Offense: A-
Starting Pitching: C+
Closers: F Unless my Stanton or Turnblow get another opportunity

Chris Mal
Strength: Depending on the rest of the off season, Chris could have some nice depth with his offense especially with young outfield anchored by Holliday. He has a few question marks like Bautista, Ethier, Quentin and Duffy plus the post hyped Hermida. His pitching is interesting too with a couple of young starters like Johnson, James and Reyes and the injured Patterson but his strength is his bullpen. Chris could potentially have four closers with Gonzalez, Valverde, Tankersley and Wood or he could have none if Gonzalez gets traded, if Valverde regresses, the fish sign a vet to close again and the long shot Wood gets hurt again.

Weakness: Besides Johnson, Chris does not have much in the infield.

Offense: B
Starting Pitching: C
Closers: B potentially could be an A+

Drew
Strength: Drew has a nice core of undervalued infielders with Berkman, Uggla, Lopez, Nomar and Lee and a few decent SP but like Chris his strength is his bullpen. Although like Chris this off season could be interesting as he has a solid closer in Fuentes and two tweeners. Will Dempster close in 2007 (I am surprised he made it through 2006) and will Valverde keep the job all season so Julio has value.

Weakness: Outfielders.

Offense: B
Starting Pitching: B-
Closers: B

Gerry
Strength: Can Hall and Hanley do it again? If they can that is an excellent MI that provides power and speed. If he decides to keep Soriano at $43 he will have about 70 HR and 100+ SB from 3 players for around $60.

Weakness: He lost all of his keepable pitchers since their contracts are up plus with Izzy’s injury he might not be a keeper either so he has no closers either.

Offense: C (only if the three big names produce, if not it could be ugly)
Starting Pitching: F since he has none
Closer: Incomplete because of Izzy

Marty
Strength: I was way off in my assessment of Marty’s team last off season. Everything Marty touched turned to gold. Chris Duncan? Marty made some shrewd moves by keeping Laroche (who broke out) and Hawpe (although I would have kept him too) and was able to pickup Phillips to fill in at 2B the whole season. That group along with Beltran and a cheap McCann and Gonzalez provide a solid offense and now a very good keeper list. Clemens could be a thorn on his side until keepers are due and he might have to make a tough decision.

Weakness: The Clemens situation other than that he is in good shape

Offense: A
Starting Pitching: C (without Clemens) B (with him)
Closers: C+ (only a $34 Wagner)
Perk
Strength: Perk has one luxury this off season the potential to have 3 cheap closers. We know Cordero is a closer the question is if Bowden is stupid enough to trade him to the Sox. Saito is back and is #1 on the depth chart in LA and Wainwright performed very well in the playoffs but does he get bumped to the rotation if Izzy is healthy. That said, he has some depth to play with to help his offense.

Weakness: Offense, plain and simple. Tracy regressed a bit but is still solid value but other than that he does not have much.

Offense: D-
Starting Pitching: C- (Only true starter is Myers)
Closers: A

Mike/Josh
Strength: The best offensive value in the league in Ryan Howard and a perennial Cy Young candidate with Carpenter for under $30 combined. With Carpenter as his anchor, a solid $22 Smoltz and a group that includes a $7 Davis, $5 Cain and Sanchez Mike has a nice pitching staff. He has two head cases at closer with Lidge and Benitez both were either hurt or lost their role in 2006.

Weakness: Most importantly, listening to Chris and Drew. Secondly, your offense after Howard and a cheap Castillo.

Offense: A+ with Howard and F from everything else, overall C-
Starting Pitching: A
Closers: B-

Zo
Strength: He has David Wright for the next 4 years for $20. Will he keep Pujols for $50 and is that a record for a keeper? Gordon at $23 is a decent value at closer and both Weathers and Howry have an opportunity to close in 2007.

Weakness: Considering Zo has not been able to make a FAAB bid in 2 years and he missed the 2nd half of the draft last year I am surprised he has almost 10 keepers. That said, not a lot there but some potential.

Offense: C, a $20 Wright is a nice value and a $6 Encarnacion make up the offense.
Starting Pitching: D IF Sheets can stay healthy he can be an ace if not he is in trouble.
Closers: B

Scott
Strength: Every year I over estimate Scott’s team but he again has a solid hitting young core. Atkins broke out, Freel and Tavarez steal a ton of bases and Jackson is Wally Joyner at 1B.

Weakness: Inexperienced and injury plagued pitching staff has killed Scott the past few years. A high priced Peavy had a down year, Prior was hurt again and Duke did not live up to the hype.

Offense: A-
Starting Pitching: C
Closers: D (only if Coffey/Bray do not close)

Dale
Strength: Fielder $10 and Sanchez $1 are a nice core. Willingham is OF eligible next year but is still a nice keeper at $8. Roberts $17 (is old) can still steal bases and signed a nice deal in SF who needs some kind of offense.

Weakness: Not much when it comes to pitching after Penny. Broxton is the close of the future but that might not be until end of 2007 or 2008.

Offense: B (if Ensberg comes back he could be an A-)
Starting Pitching: F
Closers: C- (Maybe Wheeler or Broxton sneak in a few saves)
 
Misled
Michael Moyer, 10/03/06
Drew and Chris,
     After reading the email that Drew sent out I would like to take this time to make you aware of my disappointment not only in the two of you but in the league as a whole. It is absolutely unfair that you both let me get my hopes up for one more long season of baseball with another 6th place finish. If Chris could have only stayed ahead of Wormy and gotten a couple more homes runs, I would have been in 5th. Also, if Drew could have gotten a couple more stolen bases; once again I am living gloriously in 5th place. And last but not least the trade that both of you thought was a good idea would have gotten me enough wins to be in first place. So the moral of the story is that you both have lead me wrong in my whole baseball career starting with me getting a gnove that was too big for my little hand!
Michael
 
Towing Away the Title
Drew Gallagher, 10/03/06
Gentlemen,

Well, there wasn’t a whole lot of drama for the winner this year. Mr. Slicker ran away with it and our perpetual bridesmaid pulled away for second in the waning moments. The Sluggers seem to be taking a liking to that sixth place spot, just out of the money and wishing that the season was another week longer. Still, only two years into this fantasy baseball thing the boys from Millersville are getting awfully close.

If any owners are not interested in returning in 2007 please let us know immediately so we can fill the opening. Also, it really would make life easier if everyone paid their entrance fees before the end of April. Yes, Zo, this is directed at you. I know it can’t be much fun not being able to make transactions and it’s killing Jamie that there is an entire roster that he is unable to plunder. This year we also ran into an issue with the 1,000 innings requirement where Zo’s squad was unable to make the innings and gave some points away to other owners. Fortunately it did not impact the final standings.

Chris will be sending out the surveys in a few months so please list any issues that you would like to have addressed in the survey. One point that Dale has asked be placed on the survey is the trading deadline. Since we now have six crossover owners from the ASL,
 he thinks that it would make sense to get the rules in line with one another. I agree that it would make life easier. The trade deadline would be pushed back to a later point in the year where those teams that are out of the running would be able to “dump” for the next season. Of course, dumping can greatly impact/influence the pennant race so consider this when voting.

In the ASL we also “reward” The Millersville Sluggers position in the standings with the number 1 pick in the supplemental draft (actually we do the 5th place in the ASL but we need to change that). This keeps some of the bottom teams interested longer. The supplemental rounds would go 6-10 and then 1-5 or 5-1. May be something else we could consider.

I am certain I am forgetting some other issues to discuss so please bring them up as you see fit.

Thanks to everyone and congratulations to Marty, Mini Mal, Mal and Winterburn. It is with a heavy heart that I relinquish the title of ESL Champion.

And now the moment that Jamie has been waiting for…let the trade talks begin!

Thanks,
Drewer
 

Final 2006 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
66 .287
10
319
10
1135
8
113
3
93
7
94
10
4.09
10
1.35
8
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
59 .283
9
282
8
1215
10
152
6
108
10
51
3
4.33
7
1.38
6
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
55 .274
5
279
6
1109
7
124
4
93
7
67
8
4.18
8
1.30
10
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
49.5 .275
7
270
5
1073
6
194
9
89
4.5
77
9
4.52
5
1.40
4
Basement BoyWormburners
Scott Winterburn
44 .274
6
281
7
1147
9
195
10
85
3
52
4
4.53
3
1.42
2
Mike MoyerMillersville Sluggers
Mike Moyer
Josh Keller
41 .266
2
221
3
942
3
82
2
93
7
57
6
4.10
9
1.32
9
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
39 .272
4
257
4
1069
5
127
5
99
9
27
1
4.46
6
1.39
5
SweetheartGerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
35.5 .270
3
302
9
1036
4
168
8
89
4.5
37
2
4.83
2
1.42
3
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
26 .265
1
199
2
917
2
78
1
80
2
61
7
4.53
4
1.36
7
Lorenzo PaulThe Pauls
Lorenzo Paul
25 .281
8
197
1
827
1
166
7
42
1
53
5
4.16
1*
1.39
1*

* The Pauls did not meet the 1000+ innings requirement and dropped to last in ERA and Ratio.

 
2005 Winter Meeting Power Rankings
Jamie Schlesinger, 11/03/05
To get some trade talk going during the GM meetings I thought it would worthwhile to put together my power
rankings (and to waste time at work). Obviously a lot
can change due to free agency and trades, but why not
have some discussion. Based on potential keepers here is my list:

Offense:
1. Scott W
2. Zo
3. Your Pal
4. Jamie
5. Dale
6. Perk
7. Marty
8. Drew
9. Mike
10. Gerry

Pitching:
1. Drew
2. Jamie
3. Mike
4. Marty
5. Dale
6. Your Pal
7. Perk
8. Gerry
9. Scott W
10. Zo

Your Pal
Strength: Young OF prospects and my boy Brady Clark
Weakness: Closers unless M Gonzo closes with Pirates

Drew
Strength: Cheap closers
Weakness: No Offense besides Berkman and Overbay who could be traded
Jamie
Strength: Cheap closers and a good value Oswalt
Weakness: Needs a power hitting OF

Marty
Strength: Utley broke out and is a great value in a
weak position and has decent SP value
Weakness: No closers and not much offensive depth

Perk
Strength: Lopez and Tracy had big years and are cheap ($2 and $10 respectively)
Weakness: No closers and Clemens is a question mark
since he might retire

Gerry
Strength: Good value at SP
Weakness: No offense to speak of besides Hall

Mike/Josh
Strength: An under $10 Cy Young winner and a $2 D
Davis
Weakness: Besides Howard not a lot of value in
offense

Scott W
Strength: Very good offensive core with Cabrera,
Bonds, Weeks, Bay, Tavarez and Freel.
Weakness: Closers even though he has several closer
on his roster none of which a locks in 2006

Zo
Strength: Wright and Reyes are very good keepers and
can fetch a solid return if you make a move
Weakness: Do I need to write anything?

Dale
Strength: Decent SP core with Pettite, Hernandez and
Penny
Weakness: Not a lot of offense besides Ensberg and
hopefully Fielder
 
Year in Review
Drew Gallagher, 10/04/05
Gentlemen,

First of all, congratulations to those of you who cashed and especially Gerry who rode Marlon Anderson to an improbable last-week surge in the standings. How does Michael go home and explain to Sue that Marlon Anderson's three home runs in the last week cost them money for the wedding? Can you say cash bar at the reception? (Special shout out to Mike Capilo for drafting the Orlando juggernaut and providing an April foundation for Marlon Anderson's heroics.)

Chris is going to provide Scott a breakdown of the proceeds in the next few days and we should be getting checks from Scott in the very near future. In that vein, if any of you have not paid please make arrangements to do so.  Payments are not going to be witheld because of any gaps in the entrance fees but will be rectified when said monies are paid. Remember, the ESL has an "entrance" fee not an exit fee.

Chris will be sending out winter survey questions in a few months. Prior to that time, we would ask that anyone who is not returning next season please let us know so we can find a new owner(s).
I thought that Marty, Zo and Michael (Josh anyone?) were fine additions to the league and hope that you all enjoyed it as well. (Beyond getting cars impounded moments before the draft.)  Note to Michael: Mr. Perkins blames you exclusively for his disastrous season. He said that he will not be helping the conglomerate at next year's draft. Might be time to call in Tom Holland!

Special thanks to Chris (as always) for keeping things running smoothly and allowing one season in 21 years where his pitching tanked.

I know everyone is looking forward to that first offer from Jamie. Please bear in mind that I have three closers and am desperate for some offensive help so I am willing to consider any and all offers.

Go Red Sox!

The Druids
2005 ESL Champions

P.S.--It's good to be the king!
 

Final 2005 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
66 .273
9
233
7
930
4
143
7
107
9
115
10
3.36
10
1.23
10
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
65 .271
6
246
8
998
8
147
9
111
10
112
9
3.76
9
1.33
6
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
52 .278
10
314
10
1124
10
157
10
85
4
45
4
4.34
2
1.38
2
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
45 .270
5
254
9
978
7
47
1
98
6
39
3
3.88
7
1.27
7
SweetheartGerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
43 .272
7
218
4
933
5
137
6
101
7
46
5
4.13
4
1.33
5
Mike MoyerMillersville Sluggers
Mike Moyer
Josh Keller
42 .268
2
217
3
925
3
114
3
103
8
75
7
3.84
8
1.27
8
Basement BoyWormburners
Scott Winterburn
36 .268
3
216
2
941
6
146
8
68
2
87
8
4.16
3
1.38
4
Marty SlickersCity Slickers
Marty Slickers
32 .270
4
198
1
862
2
92
2
84
3
64
6
4.02
6
1.26
9
Lorenzo PaulThe Bronx Zo
Lorenzo Paul
32 .272
8
228
6
1024
9
127
5
39
1
1
1
4.69
1
1.45
1
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
27 .267
1
226
5
905
2
124
4
94
5
19
2
4.11
5
1.38
3

 
Drew's Letter to John Hunt, 12/30/04
John,

I sent you an e-mail last year about my friend Chris Malinowski and will make another plug for his consideration in the LABR draft this year. Much like Ryne Sandberg in the Hall, I think Chris should get a shot at the LABR National League.

Our Eternal Squabblers League just completed its 20th season.  Chris (The Malcontents) has won the league an amazing 14 times including 2004 which makes him eligible for the LABR.  He has a phenomenal web site, www.yourpalchrismal.com, that I think you would enjoy and appreciate.  If you click on the rotisserie feature of the site and go to the ESL portion he has the standings for all 20 years along with each team's all-time leader in categories.  The information he has compiled on our league is amazing.  I know you're quite busy and can't go surfing through a plethora of web sites but if you have a moment you may want to take this one in for the rotisserie portion.  (Plus there are photos of our first Yoo-Hoo ceremony from 1985 when we were all in high school and much thinner with more hair.  The Yoo-Hoo ceremony was ultimately discontinued but we were true to the founding fathers for the first few years!)
Chris' dominance has given birth to some draft day lingo such as The Malinowski Tax.  The way the tax works is if bidding is slow and seems to be about to end, Chris will subtly enter if the player interests him. What was a "going once, going twice..." now has five other owners in it because the player must be good if Chris wants him and if he really wants him he needs to pay much more for him.  There is also a new owner who tries to emulate Chris and practically sits on his lap at draft day.  We call him Mini Mal.

When we started the ESL in 1985 only two of our 10 owners were over 16 and could drive.  It was an outgrowth of our playing stickball together in Pennside, PA.  One of our three original owners retired after 2004 and 20 years as an owner.  He said that he didn't have the time for it to which my wife responded that she couldn't see how a "fantasy team" could require  all that much time since it didn't really exist.  Chris and I are the only two original owners remaining but the league continues with the rest of us mired in the never-ending quest for second place.

Thanks for your consideration of my friend as a candidate for the LABR draft!

Drew Gallagher
 

Final 2004 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
68 .278
8
330
10
1164
9
143
7
112
9
80
6
3.82
9
1.24
10
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
63 .268
4
267
6
1027
6
171
9
124
10
92
9
3.65
10
1.24
9
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
60 .281
9
301
8
1172
10
191
10
85
3
91
8
3.90
7
1.35
5
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
48 .272
5
283
7
1118
8
148
8
89
5
14
2
4.08
5
1.31
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
46 .285
10
311
9
1112
7
127
6
90
6
10
1
4.17
4
1.36
3
Basement BoyWormburners
Scott Winterburn
36.5 .274
6
232
3
908
3
119
4.5
99
8
129
10
4.43
1
1.41
1
SweetheartGerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
34 .259
1
233
4
973
5
81
2
87
4
44
3
3.89
8
1.33
7
Scotty Too HottyRobesonia Huskies
Scott Metcalfe
32 .276
7
209
1
938
4
102
3
98
7
78
5
4.25
3
1.36
2
PeteyRe-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey
31.5 .261
2
235
5
907
2
119
4.5
76
2
45
4
4.06
6
1.34
6
PeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteGolden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
21 .265
3
230
2
906
1
59
1
59
1
87
7
4.35
2
1.36
4

 
Drew's Letter to John Hunt, 1/06/04
I do not know if you guys are going to invite any laypeople to the spring LABR draft, but wanted to offer up my self-serving credentials.  Actually, just wanted to share with someone that 2004 will mark the 20th anniversaries of both our Altered State League (AL only) and Eternal Squabblers League (NL only).  I'm certain there are a few leagues that have already celebrated 20 years, but I was only 15 when the ASL began and my father had to drive me to the draft since I didn't have a license.

Dad, not aware of the length of such an affair, was employed as auctioneer about halfway through and he has continued as auctioneer for almost every one of those 20 years.  Of the 12 original owners, I was the youngest by 10 years when the league started and I am now the only original member of the league that has participated for all 20 years.  (I have one championship to show for it but let's skip that part.)  I'd be willing to bet there aren't many out there who have done this for 20 years with those 20 years making up more than half their lives.
Never missed a draft. Even through college when I would sometimes have to take the train five hours to get back from college since I didn't have a car at school.

After participating in the ASL draft in March of 1985, I was so enamored with the concept that I got a group of my friends together and we started our NL only league at the all-star break of 1985.  We had a half season (doing stats by hand) and have continued with that league as well.  There are three of the original 10 owners who have competed for all 20 years. Pretty impressive in my mind.

So I offer up to you, how many other rotisserie players have been in two leagues for 20 years straight?  Trust me, this does not impress my wife.

Thanks for your time and I look forward to the fantasy baseball column starting up again soon.

Drew Gallagher
 

Final 2003 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
75 .278
9
319
10
1230
10
175
9
108
10
105
9
3.78
9
1.29
9
PeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteGolden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
65.5 .276
8
290
7
1131
8
181
10
80
2.5
107
10
3.72
10
1.27
10
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
49 .270
4
292
9
1074
7
114
4
99
9
87
7
4.15
4
1.33
5
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
48 .272
6
291
8
1160
9
153
7
96
8
41
4
4.41
3
1.36
3
Scotty Too HottyRobesonia Huskies
Scott Metcalfe
44 .273
7
217
4
1047
5
121
5
86
4
103
8
4.04
5
1.33
6
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
42.5 .283
10
247
6
1070
6
159
8
95
6.5
34
3
4.72
1
1.42
2
SweetheartGerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
38 .260
1
233
5
947
4
85
2
88
5
46
6
3.88
7
1.30
8
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
36.5 .267
3
194
2
770
2
86
3
95
6.5
45
5
3.86
8
1.33
7
PeteyRe-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey
23.5 .262
2
180
1
732
1
123
6
80
2.5
16
1
3.97
6
1.35
4
Basement BoyWormburners
Scott Winterburn
18 .272
5
205
3
899
3
61
1
64
1
28
2
4.49
2
1.46
1

Final 2002 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
StudMalcontents
Chris Malinowski
70 .273
9
325
10
1174
10
172
8
107
8
61
5
3.51
10
1.21
10
Mini-ChrisAmerican Standard
Jamie Schlesinger
59 .256
1
255
9
984
6
174
9
96
6
108
10
3.64
9
1.26
9
Little BitchScottsmen
Dale Scott
59 .285
10
228
5
1021
9
146
5
122
10
78
8
3.80
6
1.32
6
Basement BoyWormburners
Scott Winterburn
50 .262
3
234
6
869
3
184
10
101
7
63
6
3.68
8
1.30
7
SweetheartGerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
42.5 .270
7
247
7
1009
7
152
6
113
9
60
3.5
4.37
2
1.40
1
WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaButch & Moans
Butch Miller
40 .272
8
223
4
919
5
103
2
84
4
84
9
4.14
4
1.38
4
Gets loud during Maryland basketball gamesDruids
Drew Gallagher
34 .269
6
252
8
1018
8
140
4
69
1
29
2
4.33
3
1.38
2
PeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteGolden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
33.5 .264
4
173
1
794
2
107
3
87
5
60
3.5
3.76
7
1.29
8
Scotty Too HottyRobesonia Huskies
Scott Metcalfe
27 .268
5
200
3
890
4
157
7
77
3
20
1
4.38
1
1.38
3
Perk has big armsThe Perkolators
Jon Perkins
25 .260
2
190
2
773
1
92
1
74
2
67
7
4.03
5
1.37
5

Final 2001 Stats and Standings

  Avg HR RBI SB W S ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
69.5 .284
10
334
10
1314
10
176
9
101
8.5
79
7
4.10
7
1.31
8
Gerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
56.5 .275
7
292
7
1122
8
117
4
101
8.5
40
4
4.01
8
1.27
10
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli/S.Julian
55 .274
6
303
8
1074
7
132
6
99
7
12
2
3.91
10
1.30
9
Wormburners
Scott Winterburn
53 .270
5
315
9
1149
9
127
5
94
6
110
10
4.16
6
1.40
3
Scottsmen
Dale Scott
50 .276
8
247
4
1062
6
142
7
136
10
71
6
4.29
4
1.33
5
E-Z Does It
Mike Z/Eric S/Mike C
41.5 .259
2
222
3
860
3
144
8
88
4.5
70
5
3.96
9
1.33
7
Druids
Drew Gallagher
39 .280
9
279
6
1041
5
177
10
77
1
11
1
4.26
5
1.40
2
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
34 .270
4
262
5
987
4
116
3
81
3
85
8
4.39
3
1.37
4
Perkolators
Jon Perkins
29.5 .263
3
203
1
843
2
104
2
88
4.5
89
9
4.57
2
1.33
6
Rosas from the Dirt
P.Rosa/R.Lombardi
12 .258
1
217
2
734
1
100
1
80
2
28
3
4.89
1
1.47
1

Final 2000 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
73 .284
9
338
10
1317
10
220
10
107
10
79
8
4.10
9
1.38
7
Wormburners
Scott Winterburn
52.5 .289
10
301
8
1126
8.5
211
9
104
8
67
6
4.91
2
1.51
1
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
50.5 .274
3
326
9
1111
7
154
7
98
6.5
29
1
4.18
7
1.31
10
Druids
Drew Gallagher
46.5 .280
7
253
4
983
4
124
4
98
6.5
45
4
4.11
8
1.35
9
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
45.5 .273
2
278
5.5
1032
5
93
1
88
4
91
10
3.96
10
1.36
8
E-Z Does It
M.Zalegowski/E.Strauss
45 .275
6
161
1
852
2
202
8
106
9
81
9
4.41
6
1.44
4
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
44.5 .284
8
286
7
1126
8.5
127
5
79
2
49
5
4.57
4
1.42
5
Gerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
36.5 .275
4
278
5.5
1097
6
105
2
90
5
39
3
4.52
5
1.39
6
Perkolators
Jon Perkins
23 .275
5
226
3
974
3
108
3
68
1
34
2
4.76
3
1.47
3
Rosas from the Dirt
P.Rosa/R.Lombardi
23 .267
1
215
2
817
1
148
6
83
3
69
7
4.91
1
1.48
2

Final 1999 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
75 .285
9
309
9
1278
10
224
10
111
9
95
8
3.61
10
1.28
10
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
63.5 .274
3
302
8
1207
8
214
9
106
8
96
9.5
4.11
9
1.36
9
Gerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
60 .285
10
311
10
1208
9
204
6
120
10
44
4
4.26
6
1.41
5
Perkolators
Jon Perkins
54 .280
6
261
4
1113
7
212
8
98
7
62
6
4.21
8
1.36
8
Rosas from the Dirt
Paul Rosa/R.Lombardi
42 .283
7
274
5
1051
4
171
5
95
6
25
1
4.26
7
1.37
7
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
38.5 .271
2
292
7
1054
5
131
2
94
5
96
9.5
4.34
5
1.45
3
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
35 .284
8
281
6
1091
6
139
3
81
4
27
2
4.55
2
1.43
4
Druids
Drew Gallagher
28 .274
4
195
2
869
1
159
4
68
2
54
5
4.43
4
1.39
6
Wormburners
Scott Winterburn
22 .269
1
222
3
897
3
209
7
79
3
31
3
4.87
1
1.50
1
Zen Masters
Joe & Andrew Zenyuch
22 .278
5
181
1
872
2
130
1
61
1
70
7
4.48
3
1.47
2

Final 1998 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
66 .275
7
287
9
1228
10
196
9
116
10
81
8
3.91
6
1.33
7
Perkolators
Jon Perkins
65 .277
9
289
10
1159
9
133
4
108
8
72
7
3.72
8
1.23
10
Re-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey
57 .272
5
220
5
934
6
186
7
93
5
103
10
3.67
10
1.28
9
Gerryatrics
Gerry Orlando
54 .273
6
243
7
1088
8
206
10
112
9
60
5
4.12
4
1.35
5
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
42 .280
10
280
8
1075
7
139
5
98
6
18
1
4.27
1
1.37
4
Rosas from the Dirt
P.Rosa/R.Lombardi
40 .263
1
218
4
902
4
78
1
100
7
71
6
3.70
9
1.30
8
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
38 .271
4
210
3
926
5
192
8
61
1
93
9
3.98
5
1.39
3
Zen Masters
Joe & Andrew Zenyuch
31 .276
8
169
2
901
3
146
6
80
4
54
4
4.25
2
1.40
2
Wormburners
Scott Winterburn
24.5 .265
2
166
1
751
1
109
3
70
2
25
2.5
3.82
7
1.34
6
Druids
Drew Gallagher
22.5 .266
6
228
6
841
2
94
2
77
3
25
2.5
4.22
3
1.41
1

Final 1997 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Rosas from the Dirt
P.Rosa/R.Lombardi
62.5 .278
8
212
6.5
907
7
211
10
112
10
7
1
3.40
10
1.19
10
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
62 .272
3
239
10
1086
10
176
6
97
9
117
10
3.83
6
1.28
8
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
62 .281
10
220
8
949
9
135
3
84
8
80
9
3.77
8
1.33
7
The Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
58.5 .273
6
231
9
911
8
189
7
72
4.5
48
6
3.63
9
1.27
9
Wormburners
Scott Winterburn
51.5 .273
5
212
6.5
823
5
194
8
75
6
69
8
3.83
7
1.34
6
Family Jules
Steve Julian
41.5 .278
9
191
4
858
6
208
9
61
2.5
65
7
3.95
2
1.29
2
Hannon Barbaras
Brian Hannon
31.5 .276
7
201
5
790
3
168
5
61
2.5
39
3
4.39
3
1.44
3
Druids
Drew Gallagher
30.5 .272
4
156
3
721
2
149
4
72
4.5
46
5
3.96
4
1.40
4
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
30 .266
2
129
2
799
4
106
1
83
7
43
4
3.94
5
1.36
5
Re-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey
10 .261
1
121
1
605
1
116
2
49
1
11
2
4.99
1
1.54
1

Final 1996 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
67 .277
8
250
9
1127
10
291
10
96
8
101
10
3.95
6
1.34
6
Druids
Drew Gallagher
63 .284
9
237
8
955
7
214
8
84
7
54
6
3.77
9
1.25
9
Re-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey
61 .269
3
213
6
984
8
246
9
83
6
69
9
3.74
10
1.24
10
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
58 .272
5
264
10
1041
9
201
7
99
10
66
8
4.13
4
1.35
5
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
48.5 .289
10
196
4
921
6
118
4
98
9
49
4.5
3.91
7
1.35
4
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
38.5 .274
7
216
7
873
5
158
6
72
4
49
4.5
4.38
3
1.38
2
Hannon Barbaras
Brian Hannon
31.5 .273
6
201
5
767
4
102
2.5
59
2
56
7
4.45
2
1.37
3
Wormburners
Scott Winterburn
29 .262
2
131
2
639
2
120
5
79
5
16
1
4.02
5
1.33
7
Rosas from the Dead
Paul Rosa/Rich Lombardi
26 .259
1
126
1
538
1
62
1
67
3
45
3
3.91
8
1.31
8
Family Jules
Steve Julian
17.5 .271
4
149
3
647
3
102
2.5
41
1
17
2
4.33
1
1.46
1

Final 1995 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
68 .270
5
227
9
922
9
180
8
80
10
57
7
3.65
10
1.278
10
Druids
Drew Gallagher
61 .284
9
156
6
776
8
183
9
58
3
85
10
3.88
8
1.303
8
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
59 .285
10
258
10
938
10
207
10
67
7
72
9
4.58
1
1.407
2
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
48 .269
4
171
8
726
6
162
7
69
8
52
6
4.18
4
1.346
5
Family Jules
Steve Julian
46.5 .276
6
151
4.5
689
4
138
5
78
9
28
4
4.05
7
1.331
7
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
43.5 .283
9
151
4.5
760
7
128
4
59
4
40
5
4.11
5
1.337
6
Smitballs
Brian Smith
40 .268
3
140
3
720
5
155
6
62
5
70
8
4.09
6
1.377
4
Murphy's Laws
Mike Murphy
39 .281
7
131
1
643
2
88
2
65
6
24
3
3.80
9
1.302
9
Wizards of Koz
Mark Kozlowski
22 .263
1
165
7
657
3
70
1
56
2
20
2
4.33
3
1.406
3
Re-Pete Offenders
Pete DeCoursey
13 .268
2
133
2
564
1
112
3
55
1
8
1
4.47
2
1.434
1

Final 1994 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
73 .283
8
194
10
770
10
118
8
65
9
64
10
3.72
9
1.289
9
Druids
Drew Gallagher
62 .275
5
145
7
668
7
136
9
52
6
44
8
3.57
10
1.228
10
Smitballs
Brian Smith
58 .292
10
162
8
756
9
100
6
45
2
40
7
3.81
8
1.304
8
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
51 .272
3
163
9
678
8
155
10
58
7
28
4
4.25
5
1.357
5
Wizards of Koz
Mark Kozlowski
38.5 .272
4
143
6
527
5
77
2
72
10
38
5.5
4.44
3
1.401
3
Murphy's Laws
Mike Murphy
36 .278
7
135
5
593
6
75
1
62
8
21
3
4.44
4
1.42
2
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
34 .266
1
99
2
464
3
81
4
50
4
46
9
3.83
7
1.357
4
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
34 .270
2
131
4
521
4
94
5
51
5
20
2
4.09
6
1.344
6
Mac Attack
Kevin MacHale
30 .283
9
105
3
458
2
80
3
48
3
2
1
4.53
2
1.310
7
Family Jules
Steve Julian
23.5 .276
6
93
1
437
1
113
7
32
1
38
5.5
3.79
1*
1.450
1

Final 1993 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
75 .280
9
265
10
1211
10
209
9
94
9
126
10
3.52
9
1.269
9
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
61.5 .289
10
215
9
925
9
217
10
74
4.5
61
8
3.84
6
1.359
5
Smitballs
Brian Smith
60 .278
8
167
5
787
5
156
5
99
10
55
7
3.24
10
1.164
10
Druids
Drew Gallagher
52 .275
6
211
8
861
8
183
8
75
6
48
5
3.94
5
1.351
6
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
48 .275
7
184
7
792
6
124
3
57
1
77
9
3.60
8
1.298
7
Miller Hi-Lites
Rob Miller
34 .271
4
133
3
728
3
112
2
68
3
43
4
3.80
7
1.275
8
Butch & Moans
Butch Miller
34 .264
1
173
6
851
7
136
4
84
7
33
3
4.05
4
1.397
2
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
28.5 .274
5
118
2
582
2
181
7
74
4.5
4
2
4.06
3
1.384
3
Wizards of Koz
Mark Kozlowski
25 .269
2
95
1
548
1
83
1
89
8
49
6
4.17
2
1.366
4
Murphy's Laws
Mike Murphy
22 .270
3
135
4
742
4
167
6
62
2
2
1
4.68
1
1.414
1

Final 1992 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Malcontents
Chris Malinowski
71 .265
6
146
9
791
10
228
10
104
10
49
8
3.15
8
1.151
10
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
62 .259
4
121
8
625
7
166
7
79
8
67
9
2.83
10
1.175
9
Smitballs
Brian Smith
62 .269
7
118
7
725
8
168
8
78
7
76
10
3.18
7
1.190
8
G. Going Gaughans
Drew Gallagher
56.5 .278
10
156
10
753
9
193
9
71
5
46
5.5
3.64
5
1.328
3
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
54 .271
9
117
6
612
6
125
4
89
9
47
7
3.24
6
1.221
7
Ballpark Franks
Frank Oliver
42.5 .271
8
98
3
556
4
75
1
77
6
46
5.5
3.14
9
1.261
6
Miller Hi-Lites
Rob Miller
30 .256
3
104
4
534
3
140
6
70
4
29
3
3.69
3
1.319
4
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
26 .253
2
112
5
585
5
100
2
65
3
32
4
3.68
4
1.371
1
Murphy's Laws
Mike Murphy
18 .246
1
81
1
474
1
129
5
63
2
16
1
3.78
2
1.298
5
Darrylicts
Darryl Grumling
18 .261
5
86
2
481
2
108
3
57
1
17
2
4.02
1
1.365
2

Final 1991 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
76 .277
10
200
10
949
10
274
10
96
10
73
10
3.27
9
1.246
7
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
63 .248
2
187
9
890
9
220
8
76
6
69
9
3.08
10
1.213
10
G. Going Gaughans
Drew Gallagher
62.5 .268
8
172
8
775
8
174
7
89
8
65
7.5
3.37
7
1.231
9
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
57.5 .258
5
154
6
769
7
224
9
91
9
65
7.5
3.33
8
1.260
6
Farr Sides
Rob Farr
42 .268
9
131
5
680
6
113
5
78
7
15
2
3.60
4
1.307
4
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
41 .258
6
87
4
446
4
134
6
67
4
32
4
3.60
5
1.244
8
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
38 .263
7
163
7
659
5
97
4
72
5
43
6
4.09
1
1.309
3
The Contenders
Derek Wilson
22 .250
3
72
2
440
3
90
3
42
1
29
3
3.57
6
1.349
1
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
20 .255
4
56
1
427
2
64
1
64
3
39
5
4.03
2
1.322
2
Ball Park Franks
Frank Oliver
18 .246
1
75
3
383
1
84
2
58
2
10
1
3.95
3
1.268
5

Final 1990 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
G. Going Gaughans
Drew Gallagher
68.5 .280
9
156
7
776
8
256
10
92
9
52
7.5
3.51
8
1.251
10
Farr Sides
Rob Farr
63 .281
10
177
8
769
7
188
6
106
10
35
5
3.40
10
1.273
7
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
62 .273
7
199
9
904
10
247
9
83
8
63
10
3.70
5
1.312
4
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
60.5 .268
6
221
10
901
9
201
7
64
3.5
55
9
3.64
7
1.256
9
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
42.5 .254
1
138
6
585
3
60
1
77
7
52
7.5
3.45
9
1.257
8
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
35 .256
2
116
5
623
5
232
8
63
2
32
4
3.79
4
1.307
5
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
33 .259
3
107
4
575
2
111
2.5
64
3.5
39
6
3.68
6
1.296
6
Ball Park Franks
Frank Oliver
31 .266
5
99
2
617
4
156
5
71
6
30
3
3.94
3
1.331
3
Long Shots
Derek Wilson
24.5 .274
8
105
3
624
6
111
2.5
61
1
19
2
4.17
1
1.434
1
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
20 .261
4
90
1
434
1
113
4
68
5
8
1
4.07
2
1.412
2

Final 1989 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
61.5 .249
2
169
10
764
10
179
9.5
38
1
106
10
2.87
10
1.180
9
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
53 .260
5
138
8
657
8
141
6
84
6
47
7
3.35
7
1.275
6
Julestown Labesabs
Steve Julian
50.5 .263
10
103
4
589
6
179
9.5
80
5
29
3
3.43
6
1.262
7
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
50 .249
3
166
9
706
9
178
8
96
10
44
6
3.67
2
1.295
3
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
48.5 .261
7
106
5
569
4
125
3.5
91
8.5
19
1.5
3.04
9
1.163
10
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
43.5 .261
6
111
6
580
5
71
1
91
8.5
50
9
3.51
4
1.277
4
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
39 .262
8
99
2
552
2
83
2
77
4
38
5
3.17
8
1.236
8
Drewers
Drew Gallagher
36.5 .262
9
123
7
633
7
169
7
74
3
19
1.5
3.96
1
1.362
1
The Tubs
Tom Gallagher
35 .242
1
100
3
508
1
126
5
85
7
49
8
3.45
5
1.276
5
Yuenglings
Paul Young
22.5 .253
4
95
1
563
3
125
3.5
67
2
36
4
3.65
3
1.298
2

Final 1988 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
63 .261
4
196
10
885
10
203
7
97
9
35
5
3.08
9
1.177
9
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
57 .262
7
153
9
766
9
225
8
44
1
100
10
3.25
7
1.222
6
The Tubs
Tom Gallagher
53 .263
8
119
6
671
7
259
10
102
10
33
4
3.42
4
1.263
4
Drewers
Drew Gallagher
47.5 .265
9
140
8
749
8
140
5
92
8
37
6.5
3.49
2
1.277
1
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
40.5 .261
5
110
5
586
5
135
3.5
64
2
59
9
3.15
8
1.272
3
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
38.5 .261
6
133
7
670
6
163
6
71
4
37
6.5
3.70
1
1.276
2
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
36.5 .267
10
78
2
482
3
135
3.5
74
5
24
3
3.45
3
1.218
7
Julestown Labesabs
Steve Julian
36 .256
2
56
1
434
2
247
9
85
7
22
2
3.40
5
1.208
8
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
34 .233
1
98
3
430
1
78
2
81
6
17
1
2.89
10
1.166
10
Yuenglings
Paul Young
34 .259
3
104
4
516
4
73
1
68
3
57
8
3.34
6
1.236
5

Final 1987 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
62 .285
10
171
5
795
7
215
9.5
98
10
37
5.5
3.94
7
1.31
8
The Tubs
Tom Gallagher
56 .276
7
139
3
661
4
195
7
94
9
83
10
3.72
10
1.34
6
Julestown Labesabs
Steve Julian
51.5 .277
8
173
6
792
6
214
8
50
2
37
5.5
3.76
9
1.33
7
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
48 .274
6
217
10
823
8
184
6
63
3
64
9
4.17
3
1.39
3
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
46 .271
3
190
8
829
9
119
3
82
5
50
8
3.97
6
1.38
4
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
46 .274
5
126
2
601
3
215
9.5
84
6
30
2.5
3.90
8
1.29
10
Drewers
Drew Gallagher
40 .269
2
201
9
870
10
174
5
77
4
10
1
4.12
4
1.37
5
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
36 .260
1
183
7
688
5
138
4
90
8
39
7
4.22
2
1.42
2
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
33 .271
4
123
1
536
1
115
2
86
7
32
4
4.02
5
1.30
9
Ali Babba & 22 Thieves
Nick Ostrowski
21.5 .277
9
151
4
566
2
112
1
31
1
30
2.5
4.43
1
1.43
1

Final 1986 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
66 .270
8
151
9
733
11
145
4
87
9
40
6
3.45
9
1.21
10
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
64.5 .262
5
135
7
645
8
179
8
79
7
54
8.5
3.43
10
1.20
11
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
60.5 .276
10
164
10
708
9
221
11
82
8
54
8.5
4.04
2
1.41
2
Drewers
Drew Gallagher
59 .260
4
174
11
729
10
211
10
100
11
15
1
3.60
6
1.30
6
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
58 .277
11
147
8
617
7
151
5
71
3
56
10
3.54
7
1.29
7
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
52 .257
3
131
6
581
4
87
2
87
10
44
7
3.38
11
1.25
9
The Tubs
Tom Gallagher
43 .271
9
117
5
594
6
183
9
54
1
61
11
4.16
1
1.45
1
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
35 .269
7
93
2
590
5
157
6
73
4
25
3
3.63
5
1.35
3
Julestown Labesabs
Steve Julian
32 .264
6
102
3
522
3
172
7
59
2
20
2
3.64
4
1.31
5
Ali Babba & 22 Thieves
Nick Ostrowski
30.5 .235
1
43
1
332
1
51
1
74
5.5
32
5
3.49
8
1.28
8
Menet Work
Scott Menet
27.5 .253
2
114
4
470
2
97
3
74
5.5
27
4
3.71
3
1.31
4

1985 E.S.L. YooHoo Ceremony
ESL 1985
From left to right: Mike Capilo, Drew Gallagher,
Tom Holland with Steve Julian on his shoulders,
Scott Menet, Tom Gallagher, Chris Mal & Pete Gabrielli.
(Missing from picture: Mike Murphy, Rob Miller)

Final 1985 Stats and Standings

    Avg HR RBI SB W   S   ERA Ratio
Menet Work
Scott Menet
55 .268
4
83
10
334
6
36
2
52
10
13
3
3.33
10
1.26
10
Hardbodies
Mike Murphy
52 .285
8
66
5
339
8
54
4
36
5
29
9
3.55
6
1.30
7
Cool Beans
Chris Malinowski
47 .269
5
56
4
336
7
58
5
40
8
18
7
3.70
3
1.30
8
The Tubs
Tom Gallagher
46 .296
10
68
7.5
345
10
95
9.5
25
1
17
6
4.80
1
1.49
1
Baseball Caps
Mike Capilo
46 .287
9
67
6
341
9
68
7
36
5
13
3
3.69
4
1.32
3
Baserobbers
Rob Miller
45 .244
1
54
3
254
2
75
8
37
7
19
8
3.52
7
1.28
9
Julestown Labesabs
Steve Julian
44.5 .271
7
44
2
284
4
95
9.5
33
3
16
5
3.37
9
1.30
5
Wooden Shoes
Tom Holland
44 .269
6
82
9
329
5
33
1
43
9
13
3
3.67
5
1.30
6
Golden Gabes
Pete Gabrielli
36.5 .249
2
68
7.5
272
3
67
6
36
5
9
1
3.42
8
1.31
4
Drewers
Drew Gallagher
24 .252
3
31
1
172
1
53
3
30
2
31
10
3.96
2
1.40
2