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Perkolators
Jon Perkins

Jon @ Home (Virginia):
(540) 837-1137

Jon @ Work:
(540) 837-1994


Jon_Perkins@CinFin.com

Team History

98 99 00 01 02
2th 4rd 9th 9th Last
03 04 05 06 07
6th 3rd Last 9th 1st
08 09 10 11 12
1st 2th 8th 8th 8th
13 14
Last 9th

Cups of Coffee:
Hit Counter

 

Perkolators' Rookie Picks

 

First Round

Second Round

'15

#2

#12

'16

JP

JP

'17

JP

JP

'18

JP

JP

'19

JP

JP

'20

JP

JP

'21

JP

JP

'22

JP

JP

'23

JP

JP

'24

JP

JP

 
Perkolators Yearly Leaders
  Avg. HR RBI SB W S
Best .358 Todd
Helton
2003
42 Jeff
Bagwell
1999
133 Dante
Bichette
1999

66

Roger
Cedeno
1999

18



18

Roger
Clemens
2004

Tim
Lincecum
2008

47

Armando
Benitez
2004
 
YR PL Avg. HR RBI SB W S
14 9 .322
 
 
.311
 
 
.292
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Juan
Uribe
 
Jayson
Werth
22 Mark
Reynolds
82 Jayson
Werth
13
 
 
13
Daniel
Murphy
 
Hunter
Pence
17 Wily
Peralta
23 LaTroy
Hawkins
13 Last .286 Daniel
Murphy
27
 
 
27
Hunter
Pence
 
Justin
Upton
99 Hunter
Pence
23
 
 
22
Daniel
Murphy
 
Hunter
Pence
11 Gio
Gonzalez
11 Huston
Street
12 8 .327
 
 
.313
 
 
.302
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Jordan
Pacheco
 
Willie
Bloomquist
34
 
 
31
 
 
30
 
 
24
Jay
Bruce
 
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Jason
Kubel
 
Hunter
Pence
104
 
 
99
 
 
96
 
 
90
Hunter
Pence
 
Jay
Bruce
 
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Jason
Kubel
24
 
 
24
Will
Venable
 
Shane
Victorino
21
 
 
13
 
 
13
Gio
Gonzalez
 
Trevor
Cahill
 
A.J.
Burnett
23 Ernesto
Frieri
11 8 .289 Justin
Upton
31
 
 
28
Justin
Upton
 
Carlos
Pena
89 Andrew
McCutchen
31
 
 
25
Jason
Bourgeois
 
Wil
Venable
12 Kyle
Lohse
43 Heath
Bell
10 8 .283 David
Wright
38 Adam
Dunn
103
103
A.Dunn/
D.Wright
34 Nyjer
Morgan
16 Tim
Lincecum
40 Francisco
Cordero
09 2 .307 Nyjer
Morgan
38 Adam
Dunn
105 Adam
Dunn
61 Michael
Bourn
15 Tim
Lincecum
28 Huston
Street
08 1 .308 Mark
Teixeira
40 Adam
Dunn
121 Mark
Teixeira
41 Michael
Bourn
18 Tim
Lincecum
18 Takashi
Saito
07 1 .327 Albert
Pujols
32 A.Pujols/
Carlos Lee
119 Carlos
Lee
64 Juan
Pierre
16 Tim
Hudson
39 Takashi
Saito
06 9 .300 Carlos
Lee
37 Carlos
Lee
116 Carlos
Lee
19 Carlos
Lee
11 J.Schmidt/
Br.Myers
29 Chad
Cordero
05 Last .321 Moises
Alou
32 Carlos
Lee
114 Carlos
Lee
46 Rafael
Furcal
13 T.Hudson/
Br.Myers
14 Armando
Benitez
04 3 .347 Todd
Helton
32 Todd
Helton
106 Lance
Berkman
27 Carlos
Beltran
18 Roger
Clemens
47 Armando
Benitez
03 6 .358 Todd
Helton
39 Jeff
Bagwell
117 Todd
Helton
43 Scott
Podsednik
14 Matt
Clement
24 Jose
Mesa
02 Last .306 Kevin
Millar
26 Mo
Vaughn
73 E.Karros/
J.Hernandez
21 Jimmy
Rollins
12 Damian
Moss
45 Jose
Mesa
01 9 .314 Kevin
Millar
25 S.Rolen/
J.Hernandez
107 Scott
Rolen
25 Rickey
Henderson
17 Greg
Maddux
43 Jeff
Shaw
00 9 .344 Ellis
Burks
25 Edgardo
Alfonzo
96 Ellis
Burks
29 Eric
Owens
14 Ryan
Dempster
29 Rick
Aguilera
99 4 .313 Roger
Cedeno
42 Jeff
Bagwell
133 Dante
Bichette
66 Roger
Cedeno
17 Kent
Bottenfield
39 Billy
Wagner
98 2 .318 Delino
DeShields
38 Moises
Alou
124 Moises
Alou
19 Bob
Abreu
16 Denny
Neagle
30 Billy
Wagner
YR PL Avg. HR RBI SB W S
 

2004
Keeper List
15 Kept for $101
 12 more needed for $189

Offense

Byrd, Marlon 5 s2 Phi of
Cordero, Wil 1 s2 Fla 1b
Feliz, Pedro 5 s2 SF 3b
Helton, Todd 43 s2 Col 1b
LoDuca, Paul 6 L2 LA c-1b
Loretta, Mark 1 s1 SD 2b
Posednik, Scott 1 s2 Mil of
Robinson, Kerry 1 s2 SD of
Rollins, Jimmy 15 L3 Phi ss
 

Pitchers

Clement, Matt 1+5 s1 Chi p
Dessens, Elmer 1 s1 Arz p
Graves, Danny 4 s2 Cin p
Ramirez, Horacio 10 s2 Atl p
Stone, Ricky 1 s2 Hou p
Tomko, Brett 1 s1 SF p
 

Rookie Players

Tracy, Chad 5 s3 Arz 3b

2003
Keeper List
16 Kept for $69
 11 more needed for $221
(includes Marlon Byrd)

Offense

Franco, Julio 1 s2 Atl 1b
Hernandez, Jose 3+5 s1 Col ss
Hunter, Brian L. 1 s1 Hou of
Karros, Eric 8 s2 Chi 1b
LoDuca, Paul 1+5 s1 LA c
Loretta, Mark 1 s2 SD 3b
Rollins, Jimmy 5+10 s1 Phi ss
Stynes, Chris 4 s2 Col 2b-3b
Zaun, Gregg 2 s2 Hou c
 

Pitchers

Clement, Matt 1 s2 Chi p
Dessens, Elmer 1 s2 Arz p
Mesa, Jose 12 s1 Phi p
Moss, Damian 5 s2 SF p
Remlinger, Mike 1 s2 Chi p
Sheets, Ben 3 s1 Mil p
 

Rookie Players

Byrd, Marlon 5 s3 Phi of

2002
Keeper List
10 Kept for $71
 17 more needed for $219

Offense

Casanova, Raul

2

s2

Mil

c

Hernandez, Jose

3

s2

Mil

ss

Hunter, Brian L.

1

s2

Hou

of

Millar, Kevin

1

s2

Fla

of

 

Pitchers

Dempster, Ryan

6

L2

Fla

p

Gagne, Eric

5

s1

LA

p

Maddux, Greg

32

s1

Atl

p

Mesa, Jose

12

s2

Phi

p

Reynolds, Shane

6

s2

Hou

p

Sheets, Ben

3

s2

Mil

p

 

Rookie Players

<< none >>

2001
Keeper List
9 Kept for $66
 18 more needed for $224
(includes Ben Sheets)

Offense

Belliard, Ron

5

s1

Mil

2b

Estallela, Bobby

1+5

s1

SF

c

Morris, Warren

1

s1

Pit

2b

 

Pitchers

Bell, Rob

5

s2

Cin

p

Dempster, Ryan

1+5

s1

Fla

p

Dreifort, Darren

6

s2

LA

p

Gagne, Eric

5

s2

LA

p

Maddux, Greg

32

s2

Atl

p

 

Rookie Players

Sheets, Ben

3

R

Mil

p

2000
Keeper List
16 Kept for $157
 11 more needed for $133

Offense

Alfonzo, Edgardo

22

s2

NYM

2b

Andrews, Shane

5

s1

Chi

3b

Bagwell, Jeff

40

s2

Hou

1b

Boone, Bret

6

s1

SD

2b

Brogna, Rico

11

s1

Phi

1b

Cedeno, Roger

5+5

s1

Hou

of

Hernandez, Jose

13

s1

Mil

ss

Loretta, Mark

1

s1

Mil

1b-ss

Owens, Eric

7

s2

SD

of

Rodriguez, Henry

9

s2

Chi

of

 

Pitchers

Dempster, Ryan

1

s2

Fla

p

Hershiser, Orel

1

s2

LA

p

Leiter, Al

21

s2

NYM

p

Rueter, Kirk

7

s1

SF

p

Sauerbeck, Scott

1

s2

Pit

p

Woodard, Steven

2

s1

Mil

p

 

Rookie Players

Bell, Rob

5

R

Cin

p

 
 
Threepeat?
Drew Gallagher,
9/29/08
PRESS RELEASE

September 28, 2008; Millwood, VA:

Perkolators' owner and Tim Lincecum fluffer, Jon Perkins was photographed today holding a bottle of Korbell in one hand and raising his middle finger on the other hand as he put lovechild Ryan Theriot in a bear hug. When asked if the finger was directed at anyone in particular he responded:

"The finger is for threepeat! You tell the rest of the ESL that we'll be holding a clinic before next year's draft on how to win back to back championships. So the finger is merely a symbol of success and not directed at anyone in particular. Now that you mention it though…tell those fifth-place Scottsmen it's for them."

Perk then took a long swing of champagne before wrestling Kevin Kouzmanoff to the floor and tickling his belly.

Thus endeth the first repeat championship in the ESL since the Malcontents did it many years ago. And the championship was not without some last day stress. Had the Malcontents gotten another hit or two on Sunday they likely would've passed the Chuck N Ducks in batting average and only needed to salvage a half point elsewhere in the standings to tie for first. When the skintight standings were broached with an increasingly drunk Perkins he had this to say:

"A couple of hits? Come on, this team was built to withstand all comers from the outset. I admit that I made quite a few shrewd moves along the way, not the least of which was Fernando Tatis, but we coasted down the stretch. This team was a better investment than my 401K. And please remind Dale that this middle finger is for him…"
The race for first place did come down to the last day of the season but the race for the third place literally came down to one of the last innings played in the regular season. When Delwyn Young pinch-hit in the ninth inning of the Dodger game yesterday the Druids' season hung in the balance. The Druids trailed Marty in batting average by mere percentage points. If Delwyn had made an out Marty would've beat Drew in average and tied Mal for fifth place and the Druids would've tied the Scottsmen for third place. Instead, Mr. Young doubled to deep rightfield and the Druids' batting average cleared Marty by one hit. If the Mets had won yesterday it all may have hinged upon a Endy Chavez pinch-hit appearance today. What might've been...

Congratulations to all of the money winners and thanks to all three of the new owners for making the league as competitive as it has been in recent memory. Paul made a run at the money while still managing to stow away some nice players for next year. The Question Marks and Chuck N Ducks retooled their rosters extensively at the trade deadline and both are loaded with keepers for 2009. (And thanks to my Dad for beating Dale by one very important RBI.)

Payouts will be issued in something approximating real time and not Winterburn time.

I enjoyed the season and will now begin my six-month quest to get Shane Victorino back where he belongs. And please let me finish by uttering the phrase that Mal has been dying to hear: "Let the trades begin."
 
 

Perk ESL
Trades 1997-2004