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Ball & Oates
(Formerly "The Perkolators")
Jon Perkins

Team History

98 99 00 01 02
2th 4rd 9th 9th Last
03 04 05 06 07
6th 3rd Last 9th 1st
08 09 10 11 12
1st 2th 8th 8th 8th
13 14 15 16 17
Last 9th not in league
18 19 20 21 22
n/a 8th 7th 4th Last
23
7th

Cups of Coffee:
Hit Counter

 
Perkolators Yearly Leaders
  Avg. RS HR RBI SB W S+H S K
Best .358 Todd
Helton
2003
91

Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
2023

42 Jeff
Bagwell
1999
133 Dante
Bichette
1999

66

Roger
Cedeno
1999

18



18

Roger
Clemens
2004

Tim
Lincecum
2008
36

Kyle
Finnegan
2023

47

Armando
Benitez
2004
234 Blake
Snell
2023
 
YR PL Avg. RS HR RBI SB W S+H S K
23 7 .287 Seiya
Suzuki
91

Fernando
Tatis, Jr.

26
 
 
25
 
 
23
 
 
22
 
 
21
Christopher
Morel
 
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
 
Ryan
McMahon
 
Jack
Suwinski
 
Ian
Happ
84 Ian
Happ
29
 
 
27
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
 
T.J.
Friedl
14
 
 
11
Blake
Snell
 
Freddy
Peralta
36
 
 
33
 
 
32
 
 
22

Kyle
Finnegan

 
Josh
Hader
 
Tyler
Rogers
 
Andrew
Chafin

    234
 
 
192
Blake
Snell
 
Freddy
Peralta
22 Last .318 Bryce
Harper
67

Ryan
McMahon

20 Ryan
McMahon
67 Ryan
McMahon
12 Jace
Peterson
9 Kyle
Gibson
    21 Taylor
Rogers
131 Kyle
Gibson
21 4 .309 Bryce
Harper
    38
 
 
38
 
 
35
 
 
23
Adam
Duvall
 
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
 
Bryce
Harper
 
Ryan
McMahon
113
 
 
90
Adam
Duvall
 
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
24 Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
14 Charlie
Morton
    31
 
 
21
Jake
McGee
 
Brad
Hand
   
20
(CV19)
7 .338
 
 
.328
Marcell
Ozuna
 
Donovan
Solano
    18
 
 
17
 
 
16
 
 
14
 
 
11
 
 
11
Marcell
Ozuna
 
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
 
Adam
Duvall
 
Nicholas
Castellanos
 
Anthony
Rizzo
 
J.T.
Realmuto
56
 
 
45
 
 
34
 
 
33
 
 
32
 
 
31
Marcell
Ozuna
 
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
 
Nicholas
Castellanos
 
Adam
Duvall
 
J.T.
Realmuto
 
Asdrubal
Cabrera
11 Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
5 Trevor
Bauer
    6 Archie
Bradley
   
19 8 .312
 
 
.311
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
 
J.D.
Davis
    35
 
 
34
 
 
33
 
 
28
 
 
25
 
 
24
 
 
22
 
 
21
Eduardo
Escobar
 
Paul
Goldschmidt
 
Hunter
Renfroe
 
Yasmani
Grandal
 
J.T.
Realmuto
 
Yasiel
Puig
 
J.D.
Davis
 
Fernando
Tatis, Jr.
118
 
 
97
Eduardo
Escobar
 
Paul
Goldschmidt
19 Yasiel
Puig
13 Jon
Lester
    10 Sean
Doolittle
   
not in league from 2015 thru 2018
14 9 .322
 
 
.311
 
 
.292
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Juan
Uribe
 
Jayson
Werth
    22 Mark
Reynolds
82 Jayson
Werth
13
 
 
13
Daniel
Murphy
 
Hunter
Pence
17 Wily
Peralta
    23 LaTroy
Hawkins
   
13 Last .286 Daniel
Murphy
    27
 
 
27
Hunter
Pence
 
Justin
Upton
99 Hunter
Pence
23
 
 
22
Daniel
Murphy
 
Hunter
Pence
11 Gio
Gonzalez
    11 Huston
Street
   
12 8 .327
 
 
.313
 
 
.302
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Jordan
Pacheco
 
Willie
Bloomquist
    34
 
 
31
 
 
30
 
 
24
Jay
Bruce
 
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Jason
Kubel
 
Hunter
Pence
104
 
 
99
 
 
96
 
 
90
Hunter
Pence
 
Jay
Bruce
 
Andrew
McCutchen
 
Jason
Kubel
24
 
 
24
Will
Venable
 
Shane
Victorino
21
 
 
13
 
 
13
Gio
Gonzalez
 
Trevor
Cahill
 
A.J.
Burnett
    23 Ernesto
Frieri
   
11 8 .289 Justin
Upton
    31
 
 
28
Justin
Upton
 
Carlos
Pena
89 Andrew
McCutchen
31
 
 
25
Jason
Bourgeois
 
Wil
Venable
12 Kyle
Lohse
    43 Heath
Bell
   
10 8 .283 David
Wright
    38 Adam
Dunn
103
103
A.Dunn/
D.Wright
34 Nyjer
Morgan
16 Tim
Lincecum
    40 Francisco
Cordero
   
09 2 .307 Nyjer
Morgan
    38 Adam
Dunn
105 Adam
Dunn
61 Michael
Bourn
15 Tim
Lincecum
    28 Huston
Street
   
08 1 .308 Mark
Teixeira
    40 Adam
Dunn
121 Mark
Teixeira
41 Michael
Bourn
18 Tim
Lincecum
    18 Takashi
Saito
   
07 1 .327 Albert
Pujols
    32 A.Pujols/
Carlos Lee
119 Carlos
Lee
64 Juan
Pierre
16 Tim
Hudson
    39 Takashi
Saito
   
06 9 .300 Carlos
Lee
    37 Carlos
Lee
116 Carlos
Lee
19 Carlos
Lee
11 J.Schmidt/
Br.Myers
    29 Chad
Cordero
   
05 Last .321 Moises
Alou
    32 Carlos
Lee
114 Carlos
Lee
46 Rafael
Furcal
13 T.Hudson/
Br.Myers
    14 Armando
Benitez
   
04 3 .347 Todd
Helton
    32 Todd
Helton
106 Lance
Berkman
27 Carlos
Beltran
18 Roger
Clemens
    47 Armando
Benitez
   
03 6 .358 Todd
Helton
    39 Jeff
Bagwell
117 Todd
Helton
43 Scott
Podsednik
14 Matt
Clement
    24 Jose
Mesa
   
02 Last .306 Kevin
Millar
    26 Mo
Vaughn
73 E.Karros/
J.Hernandez
21 Jimmy
Rollins
12 Damian
Moss
    45 Jose
Mesa
   
01 9 .314 Kevin
Millar
    25 S.Rolen/
J.Hernandez
107 Scott
Rolen
25 Rickey
Henderson
17 Greg
Maddux
    43 Jeff
Shaw
   
00 9 .344 Ellis
Burks
    25 Edgardo
Alfonzo
96 Ellis
Burks
29 Eric
Owens
14 Ryan
Dempster
    29 Rick
Aguilera
   
99 4 .313 Roger
Cedeno
    42 Jeff
Bagwell
133 Dante
Bichette
66 Roger
Cedeno
17 Kent
Bottenfield
    39 Billy
Wagner
   
98 2 .318 Delino
DeShields
    38 Moises
Alou
124 Moises
Alou
19 Bob
Abreu
16 Denny
Neagle
    30 Billy
Wagner
   
YR PL Avg. RS HR RBI SB W S+H S K
 

2004
Keeper List
15 Kept for $101
 12 more needed for $189

Offense

Byrd, Marlon 5 s2 Phi of
Cordero, Wil 1 s2 Fla 1b
Feliz, Pedro 5 s2 SF 3b
Helton, Todd 43 s2 Col 1b
LoDuca, Paul 6 L2 LA c-1b
Loretta, Mark 1 s1 SD 2b
Posednik, Scott 1 s2 Mil of
Robinson, Kerry 1 s2 SD of
Rollins, Jimmy 15 L3 Phi ss
 

Pitchers

Clement, Matt 1+5 s1 Chi p
Dessens, Elmer 1 s1 Arz p
Graves, Danny 4 s2 Cin p
Ramirez, Horacio 10 s2 Atl p
Stone, Ricky 1 s2 Hou p
Tomko, Brett 1 s1 SF p
 

Rookie Players

Tracy, Chad 5 s3 Arz 3b

2003
Keeper List
16 Kept for $69
 11 more needed for $221
(includes Marlon Byrd)

Offense

Franco, Julio 1 s2 Atl 1b
Hernandez, Jose 3+5 s1 Col ss
Hunter, Brian L. 1 s1 Hou of
Karros, Eric 8 s2 Chi 1b
LoDuca, Paul 1+5 s1 LA c
Loretta, Mark 1 s2 SD 3b
Rollins, Jimmy 5+10 s1 Phi ss
Stynes, Chris 4 s2 Col 2b-3b
Zaun, Gregg 2 s2 Hou c
 

Pitchers

Clement, Matt 1 s2 Chi p
Dessens, Elmer 1 s2 Arz p
Mesa, Jose 12 s1 Phi p
Moss, Damian 5 s2 SF p
Remlinger, Mike 1 s2 Chi p
Sheets, Ben 3 s1 Mil p
 

Rookie Players

Byrd, Marlon 5 s3 Phi of

2002
Keeper List
10 Kept for $71
 17 more needed for $219

Offense

Casanova, Raul

2

s2

Mil

c

Hernandez, Jose

3

s2

Mil

ss

Hunter, Brian L.

1

s2

Hou

of

Millar, Kevin

1

s2

Fla

of

 

Pitchers

Dempster, Ryan

6

L2

Fla

p

Gagne, Eric

5

s1

LA

p

Maddux, Greg

32

s1

Atl

p

Mesa, Jose

12

s2

Phi

p

Reynolds, Shane

6

s2

Hou

p

Sheets, Ben

3

s2

Mil

p

 

Rookie Players

<< none >>

2001
Keeper List
9 Kept for $66
 18 more needed for $224
(includes Ben Sheets)

Offense

Belliard, Ron

5

s1

Mil

2b

Estallela, Bobby

1+5

s1

SF

c

Morris, Warren

1

s1

Pit

2b

 

Pitchers

Bell, Rob

5

s2

Cin

p

Dempster, Ryan

1+5

s1

Fla

p

Dreifort, Darren

6

s2

LA

p

Gagne, Eric

5

s2

LA

p

Maddux, Greg

32

s2

Atl

p

 

Rookie Players

Sheets, Ben

3

R

Mil

p

2000
Keeper List
16 Kept for $157
 11 more needed for $133

Offense

Alfonzo, Edgardo

22

s2

NYM

2b

Andrews, Shane

5

s1

Chi

3b

Bagwell, Jeff

40

s2

Hou

1b

Boone, Bret

6

s1

SD

2b

Brogna, Rico

11

s1

Phi

1b

Cedeno, Roger

5+5

s1

Hou

of

Hernandez, Jose

13

s1

Mil

ss

Loretta, Mark

1

s1

Mil

1b-ss

Owens, Eric

7

s2

SD

of

Rodriguez, Henry

9

s2

Chi

of

 

Pitchers

Dempster, Ryan

1

s2

Fla

p

Hershiser, Orel

1

s2

LA

p

Leiter, Al

21

s2

NYM

p

Rueter, Kirk

7

s1

SF

p

Sauerbeck, Scott

1

s2

Pit

p

Woodard, Steven

2

s1

Mil

p

 

Rookie Players

Bell, Rob

5

R

Cin

p

 
 
Threepeat?
Drew Gallagher,
9/29/08
PRESS RELEASE

September 28, 2008; Millwood, VA:

Perkolators' owner and Tim Lincecum fluffer, Jon Perkins was photographed today holding a bottle of Korbell in one hand and raising his middle finger on the other hand as he put lovechild Ryan Theriot in a bear hug. When asked if the finger was directed at anyone in particular he responded:

"The finger is for threepeat! You tell the rest of the ESL that we'll be holding a clinic before next year's draft on how to win back to back championships. So the finger is merely a symbol of success and not directed at anyone in particular. Now that you mention it though�tell those fifth-place Scottsmen it's for them."

Perk then took a long swing of champagne before wrestling Kevin Kouzmanoff to the floor and tickling his belly.

Thus endeth the first repeat championship in the ESL since the Malcontents did it many years ago. And the championship was not without some last day stress. Had the Malcontents gotten another hit or two on Sunday they likely would've passed the Chuck N Ducks in batting average and only needed to salvage a half point elsewhere in the standings to tie for first. When the skintight standings were broached with an increasingly drunk Perkins he had this to say:

"A couple of hits? Come on, this team was built to withstand all comers from the outset. I admit that I made quite a few shrewd moves along the way, not the least of which was Fernando Tatis, but we coasted down the stretch. This team was a better investment than my 401K. And please remind Dale that this middle finger is for him�"
The race for first place did come down to the last day of the season but the race for the third place literally came down to one of the last innings played in the regular season. When Delwyn Young pinch-hit in the ninth inning of the Dodger game yesterday the Druids' season hung in the balance. The Druids trailed Marty in batting average by mere percentage points. If Delwyn had made an out Marty would've beat Drew in average and tied Mal for fifth place and the Druids would've tied the Scottsmen for third place. Instead, Mr. Young doubled to deep rightfield and the Druids' batting average cleared Marty by one hit. If the Mets had won yesterday it all may have hinged upon a Endy Chavez pinch-hit appearance today. What might've been...

Congratulations to all of the money winners and thanks to all three of the new owners for making the league as competitive as it has been in recent memory. Paul made a run at the money while still managing to stow away some nice players for next year. The Question Marks and Chuck N Ducks retooled their rosters extensively at the trade deadline and both are loaded with keepers for 2009. (And thanks to my Dad for beating Dale by one very important RBI.)

Payouts will be issued in something approximating real time and not Winterburn time.

I enjoyed the season and will now begin my six-month quest to get Shane Victorino back where he belongs. And please let me finish by uttering the phrase that Mal has been dying to hear: "Let the trades begin."
 
 

Perk ESL
Trades 1997-2004