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The (R, 1997) ... Average: 2.5
(Bruce Willis, Richard Gere, Sidney Poitier,
I guess I've just never been a big fan of these action shoot-'em-up
blow-'em-up type of movies. They always seem to be filled with as
many holes as they have chase scenes.
Willis plays a hired assassin
paid $70,000,000 to kill someone high in the U.S. government ranks.
He is constantly changing his identity and location. Richard Gere
plays an IRA underground prisoner, utilized by the FBI because Gere's
character "thinks" like Willis's character and has a
"history" with Willis's character (OK, that's realistic!)
Willis's character is painted as mysterious, secretive and to have
precision intelligence. Yet, he leaves plenty of obvious clues
in his path - if you have some whacked-out computer nerd build you a
device for destruction, I can understand killing the kid afterwards, but
why blow him away AND the kid's truck and leave the bloody remains in the
field where he can be found AND leave all of the plans for the device back
in the kid's shop? That wasn't very mysterious and precise!
Then there are the obligatory scenes were Gere's character comes face to
face with Willis's and none of the usual 25 FBI agents are anywhere to be
found...Bev just yelled at me for always having negative reviews, so
I guess I must say that while there were things about this movie I didn't
like, it did hold your attention for the duration. It's an OK
rental, but I'm glad I didn't pay money to see it in a theater.
the way, am I the only one who thinks Sidney Poitier is one of the worst
actors of all time?
and the Giant Peach (1996)
... Average: 3.0
(Paul Terry, Richard Dryfuss, Susan Sarandon, Joanna Lumley,
Miriam Margolyes, Pete Postlethwaite)
The person who dreamt up this story clearly found some good
drugs. James's parents are eaten by a Rogue Rhinoceros that is
actually a bunch of clouds. He's given to his evil aunts who are
apparently related to Cinderella's wicked stepmother in that they doom him
to a life of no-fun. That is, until some wacky guy appears and gives
him a bag of funky looking spring-like glow worms which he immediately
accidentally spills. Soon the tree out front grows a gigantic peach
which houses a bunch of giant sized insects which he befriends.
James and his motley crew of insects then travel from London to New York
City by attaching a bunch of sea-gulls to the peach. Upon reaching
New York City the giant peach becomes impaled on the top of the Empire
State Building. Ummmm...yeah, OK.
I watched this with my 5-year old niece and my 3-year old nephew, both of
whom were sure the insects were going to eat poor James at any minute.
I'm not sure the real moral of the story. I suppose it was something
like "If you dream something, you can make it come true."
Regardless, I'm sure even the brightest of kids were more engrossed by the
entertainment of it than any morals hidden in the story.
From a "grown up's" stand-point, the animation was good, not
unlike the characters in "A Bug's Life." All of the
characters had fun witty personalities, and a number of clever insect puns
that got me to chuckle (e.g. "Don't rush me, I've only got a hundred
hands." - the centipede; and "Why, this isn't very
lady-bug-like." - the ladybug who was stuck on her back; "He
just committed pesticide!" - after one of the jumped off of the giant
A cute movie, I was mildly entertained and the kids didn't fall asleep and
one of them even wanted to watch it again the next morning, but compared
to movies like "Toy Story," I can only give this one a 3-1/2.
and Silent Bob Strike Back (R,
... Average: 3.75
(Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Jason Lee, Chris Rock, Shannon
Elizabeth, Ben Affleck, Jason Biggs,
Will Ferrell, Matt Damon, Judd
Nelson, George Carlin, Jules Asner, Jon Stewart, Carrie Fisher,
Morrissette, Mark Hamill)
HERE to go to Tony Porco's Movie Reviews Page)
What a great film! I went to watch it with 7 of my good friends.
Its too bad that four of them were kicked out for not concealing their
cans of beer when the damn ticket boy with the flashlight came in. I
was torn, should I act like I know these people and get up and leave too
or should I just keep my beer under my coat and enjoy the show.
Before I knew it I was laughing my butt off and finishing my beer (it's a
shame waste perfectly good alcohol). I enjoyed it enough to
volunteer to go back and see it again with my less fortunate friends who
had to leave.
Q (PG-13, 2002)
... Average: 3.0
(Denzel Washington, Robert Duvall, Anne Heche, James Woods,
Eddie Griffin, Kevin Connolly, Ray Liotta, Daniel E. Smith)
Let's just say that there was enough cheese in this movie to cover
every last remaining cracker in the world. There were way too
many lame attempts to overdramatize everything, and the technical oversights
were a little embarrassing at times. So much so that it
wasn't difficult to instantly pin-point the things that weren't
realistic. Nothing kills a drama quicker than a few "Wait, that
couldn't actually happen"'s.
That said, this wasn't a bad movie, per se. I'm probably just
a stickler for details. I figure that if you have a
multi-million dollar budget you can hire someone to do a little research
Anyway, enough of that rant, John Q is a factory worker at the low end of
the social-economic totem pole with an absolutely adorable little son who
lights up the screen. (Loved this kid as much as Denzel!) It's
clear that this is a very close knit happy family, when one day the kid collapses
running from first to second. It turns out that he has an
enlarged heart. The doctor recommends a heart transplant, but
because it is considered an "optional" procedure, Denzel's
insurance won't pay for the $250,000+ surgery. In fact, they won't
even put him on the waiting list for a new heart. (After watching
the extra features on the DVD, it turns out this is entirely
accurate! HMO's suck! American health care sucks! As
progressive as our country is, how can we have a health care system so
incredibly screwed up?)
So, Denzel decides to take matters into his own hands by holding everyone
hostage in the emergency room. It is very dramatic, and it does keep
your attention. You just need to tip-toe through the cheese every
now and then.
Our biggest beef was with the hospital director played by Anne Heche.
Bev was our resident expert - she's a nurse. Bev was quite annoyed
by the way they portrayed the hospital's attitude. According to Bev,
there is absolutely no way that any hospital would treat people the way
And what was with role of the chief of police played by Ray Liotta.
UGH! Was it even necessary? God I hate when movies have to
insult my intelligence with the bad cop in charge who steps in to screw
everything up. It added ZERO to the movie and was so cheesy you'd
have to hide it from mice.
Denzel is awesome as always. I love that guy. His son is a
budding little star. Wouldn't at all be a surprise to see him again
down the road in other movies.
If you've seen all the other good movies at Blockbuster this is an OK
rental, but I wouldn't put it at the top of your list.