2001 Stars - July

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Stars of Tue, 7/31/01
@Baer Park, 7:15 p.m. vs. Flanagan's Pub (Div.III)

(Win 19-7 in 5 innings)
Record after game: 18-6

Mike Capilo
Mike used to drive a gold camaro.
3-for-3,
Home Run #12,
4 RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Jeff Tantum
Jeff was MVP of the Chambersburg Parking Lot Football League State Tournament.
2-for-2,
3 RBI, 1 run,
Sac-Fly
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Chris Hunter
One of the two best looking Chris's on the team.

1-for-1, Walk,
Home Run,
2 RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Honorable Mention:
Dickie Delp (2-for-2, Sac-Fly, RBI, 2 runs)
Pete Gabrielli (1-for-1, Walk, Sac-Fly, RBI, 2 runs)
Chris Malinowski (Pinch hit, 1 run, got a guy called out for missing 3rd who had hit a HR!)
John Cressman (RBI Pinch hit, 1 run)

Game Summary/Notes:
This was possibly our best hitting performance of the year, scoring 19 runs in just 4 innings (we didn't bat in the bottom of the 5th since we were the home team.)  As a team we were 20-for-28 (.714), although we did hit FOUR Sac-Flies (which really should count as outs after the game is out of reach.)

Mike Capilo hit his team-leading 12th home run of the year, a 3-run shot in the bottom of the first to put us up 3-1.  The Pete's-an-ass team scored 6 in the first and that was all that was needed to win the game.  That wasn't, however, our biggest inning - we scored seven in the 4th inning thanks to 8 singles and a sac-fly.

Tom Barzd confessed to stealing a towel from the hotel in Chambersburg.

Mac shaved his beard.  Two weeks ago he had a full beard.  Last week he had a go-tee.  Now he is cleanly shaven.  What's going to happen next week?  Will he shall all the hair off his entire body?

Scott's new name is "Cheese."  This way we can have a Mac and Cheese on the team.

My new name is "Chris is so hotty, got a pitcher's body."

...And while you're at it, go to the GaGa Gorilla webpage and check out their "Fan Page"!


Stars of Thu, 7/26/01
@Baer Park, 9:15 p.m. vs. Moyer's (Div.III)

(Win 17-6)
Record after game: 17-6

Dave Engle
Dave is the coolest guy on the team.
4-for-4,
2 doubles,
4 RBI, 4 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Pete Gabrielli
Prior to the game, we all got in a circle, put our hands together and then everyone screamed "Pete's an ass!"  I didn't get why we did that.
4-for-4,
Triple,
3 RBI, 4 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Mike Capilo
Mike likes to play Patty-Cake.
4-for-4,
Triple,
3 RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Honorable Mention:
Tom Barzd (2-for-3, 2 doubles, RBI)
Chris Malinowski (2-for-3, double, 1 run)
Ed Key (2-for-3, 2 runs)

Game Summary/Notes:
Another fine offensive performance: 24-for-37 (.649)...of course, it certainly didn't hurt that Moyer's only had 9 players (3 outfielders).  The game was semi-"interesting" for a few innings, however, which resulted in more than just a few "JESUS CHRIST"'s from Manager Chris Hunter.  (Remember, use of the lord's name in vein is a mortal sin, Chris.)  Giovanna's started off a little sluggish both offensively and defensively, allowing Moyer's to stay in the game thru 4-1/2 innings when the score was 6-5 Pizza.  A five-spot in the bottom of the 5th highlighted by a 2-out 2-run triple by Mike Capilo, and six more in the 6th put the game away.

Just noticed that Mac Phoey has three extra base hits and they are all triples.  Dickie Delp and Ed Key are still the only two without a walk.  John Cressman and Tom Barzd are the only two without sac-flies.

Jeff Tantum hit his third home run of the year, a screaming line-drive that probably never got more than 15 feet off the ground, but still rocketed over the left-field fence.  One of the hardest hit balls that I've seen all year.  Jeff is great! Gave us the chocolate cake!

For the record, I find being referred to as "the bottom" kind of offensive.  My friends and I in the later half of the order like to think of ourselves as "the second top."


Stars of Thu, 7/24/01
@Baer Park, 7:15 p.m. vs. Berks Western (Div.IV)

(Win 21-8 in 5 innings)
Record after game: 16-6

Jeff Tantum
Jeff likes close plays at first where he gets to run me over.
4-for-4,
4 RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Mike Capilo
Mike's cock disappeared recently, if anyone sees it, let him know.

3-for-3, SF,
2B, Home Run,
4 RBI, 3 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Tom Barzd
BEERS!!!!!!
2-for-2,
2 walks, double,
2 RBI, 3 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Honorable Mention:
Steve Julian (3-for-4, SOE, double, RBI, 3 runs)
Chris Hunter (3-for-4, 2 RBI, 3 runs)
Dickie Delp (2-for-3, 2 RBI, 2 runs)
Chris Malinowski (2-for-3, 2 runs)

Game Summary/Notes:
Finally...a well hit game!  As a team we were 23-for-36 (.638), and were actually on-base 28 times out of 38 (.737) thanks to (3) safe-on-errors and a pair of walks.  All of which was quite a turn-around in comparison to the last five games.  Apparently the pre-game Die-hard pep-talk worked!

Our big inning was the 2nd.  Giovanna's sent 12 to the plate and scored 8 runs - including an impressive six consecutive hits with 2-outs which scored SEVEN of the 8 runs.  There's no way to really prove it, but I've got to think that this is the best team that I've ever played on as far as hitting with 2-outs.

Jeff Schaeffer is on the D.L. with a shoulder injury, but did show up after the game with his bike that is totally insane.

Dickie bought me a soda after the game.

Mac looks quite precious with his new beard.


Stars of Thu, 7/19/01
@Baer Park, 7:15 p.m. vs. Gilbert's Furniture (Div.III)

(Loss 17-5 in 5 innings)
Record after game: 15-6

Pete Gabrielli
Pete was arrested two days after this game.
2-for-2, Walk,
Home Run,
2 RBI, 1 run
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Jeff Schaeffer
My nipple is feeling much better, but now my shoulder hurts.
1-for-2, double,
RBI, yet another
runner thrown out
at thirdbase
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Chris Mal
"He is so hot, you are SO lucky." -- girl at Drew Gallagher's wedding reception, talking to Bev.

0-for-0,
two walks
(Yippee!)
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Game Summary/Notes:
You know it wasn't a good game when your second best individual performance was 1-for-2, and your third best didn't even have a hit.  We are now officially in a team slump.  This was the fifth consecutive sub-par hitting performance, this one quite possibility the worst yet (8-for-22, .363.)  Yes, Gilbert's scored 17 runs, but we're not going to win many games by scoring only five runs.

Jeff Schaeffer left the game after 4 innings after he dove for a ball in the outfield and injured his shoulder.

Dave Engle returns from Chicago after this game which should give us a boost.

It was Bring-Your-Mom-to-the-Game Day at Baer Park.  Jeff Tantum's mom was in attendance.

Some of you may not understand how this could be, but I swear this was the best game I have pitched all year.  Gilbert's scored 17 runs, but I'm going on record as saying they did not hit well at all (outside of home runs by Jarred Sadlowski and Gary Lloyd, and a couple of solid base hits by Greg Edge.)  I have never seen so many bloop hits, bleeding ground-ball singles...coupled with a few untimely errors.

For Gilbert's, Greg Edge was 3-for-4, Jarred Sadlowski was 2-for-4 with a homer, Gary Lloyd was 1-for-3 with a homer, and Chad Shrawder was 2-for-3.


Stars of Thu, 7/12/01
@Angelica Softball, 8:15 p.m. vs. Central Fire Co. (Div.IV)

(Win 21-12)
Record after game: 15-5

Dickie Delp
What inspired this?
4-for-5,
Hit for cycle,
2B, 3B, HR,
SEVEN RBI, 4 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Mike Capilo
Yes, that's a cell phone Mike is sticking up his nose.

4-for-5,
double,
2 RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Dave Engle
Don't stick it out unless you plan on using it.
3-for-5,
2 doubles,
3 RBI, 3 runs

(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Game Summary/Notes:
Maybe I'm just spoiled by how this team has hit at other times in the past, but again I think the score masked yet another poor hitting performance.  Despite scoring 21 runs, we barely hit .500 as a team (24-for-47, .510), which is poor against a Division IV team.  Dave Engle, Dickie Delp and Mike Capilo were the only three people to hit over .500 for the day.  Making us look better overall were three things:  (1) a tremedous performance by Dickie Delp, (2) four walks and (3) four safe-on-errors.  If it wasn't for any one of those three things, we might have actually lost this game.  Central Fire Company poured on an absolutely absurd amount of dink and bloop hits.

Rachel Julian fell off the bench during the game.  My singing the Blues Clues song didn't seem to be enough to console her.  In fact, it only seemed to make her cry even harder.

We struck out FOUR times in this game: one swinging, one looking and two foul outs.  I'm going to go out on a limb and bet that we never do that four times in a game again.


Stars of Tue, 7/10/01
@Sinking Spring Fire Co., 6:30 p.m. vs. G.L.Evans (Div.III)

(Win 15-9)
Record after game: 14-5Tom Bazrd drove my car and got flat tire once.

Jeff Schaeffer
I loaned Tom Barzd my car once and he got a flat tire.
3-for-4,
3-run HR,
3 RBI, 3 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Mike Capilo
I credit sex the night before this game as inspiration for my game winning HR.

2-for-4,
3-run go-ahead HR, Triple, SOE,
3 RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Steve Julian
I used to climb into trees and pee on people when I was little.
3-for-4,
2 runs

(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Honorable Mention:
Jeff "Rock in my ass" Tantum (2-for-3, walk, RBI, 2 runs)
John "Cresscock" Cressman (2-for-3, 1 run)

Game Summary/Notes:
Mike Capilo and Jeff Schaeffer both hit 3-run home runs in the 5th inning to produce a nice come-from-behind victory after falling behind 8-4 after 3.

A 2-out 2-run single by Scott Metcalfe put The Pizza within striking distance, down 8-6 after 4 innings.  Singles by Julian and Delp with 1-out in the 5th set the stage for a huge 3-run blast by Mike Capilo - his 10th of the year - to put us up 9-8.  Barzd and Tantum followed with two more singles which set the stage for yet another 3-run homer, this one by Jeff Schaeffer.

G.L.Evans had only three hits and one run in the last four innings.

It was really one big inning and timely hitting that won this game for us, masking the fact that this may have been our worst hitting game of the year as a team.  FIVE people had one hit or less in the game, and as a team we were a sad 18-for-40 (.450).  I don't remember that we've ever hit that poorly.

Mike Capilo made a beautiful sliding catch for an out in the first inning.

Only three people have attended all 117 innings of the season so far: Tom Bazrd, Dickie Delp and Scott Metcalfe.  The most common defensive alignment has been:  P Chris Malinowski, C Chris Hunter, 1B Jeff Tantum, 2B Steve Julian, SS John Cressman, 3B Dickie Delp, LF Scott Metcalfe, LC Jeff Schaeffer, RC Mac Ziegler, RF Tom Barzd, EH Mike Capilo.  Dave Engle hasn't played the most at any position.

Nicola doesn't understand why people never ask "What is right with you?", and why people say "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less", and would like to point out that "irregardless" is not a word.

Chris Hunter tripled in his first at bat since his ankle injury and a vacation.

Jeff Tantum would like everyone to know that he has a rock in his ass.

Dickie Delp and Ed Key are the only two people on the team who have not walked this year.


Stars of Tue, 7/03/01
@Baer Park, 6:15 p.m. vs. Sottosanti Lawn Care (Div.IV)

(Win 15-7)
Record after game: 13-4

Boopie
Gnip-Gnop.
3-for-4,
2-doubles, 1-triple,
4-RBI, 2 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Dickie
(and Mickey)
Dickie ate a sandwich that was up Steve's ass.  A good story, be sure to ask about it.
4-for-4,
1-Ole,
RBI, 3 runs
(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

BARZD!
Tom's convertable top on his car is a beauty.  The car is for sale if anyone is interested.

2-for-3, walk,
triple, Homer,
2 RBI, 2 runs

(Click on photo for
a larger picture)

Honorable Mention:
Jamie "Rachiro" Schlesinger (2-for-3, double, RBI, 2 runs)

Game Summary/Notes:
Despite the 15-7 score, this game was not a very good one for the Pizza.  The team batted .543 (19-for-35) for the day, but that was thanks in large part to the fact that Sottosanti had only 9 players and 3 outfielders.  That also meant that they received an automatic out every time their 10th spot came around in the order which was also helpful ... Jamie will, from here on out, be referred to as "RACHIRO" ... Jeff Schaeffer may land on the D.L. with a nipple injury.  While diving for a ball while playing first base, his nipple ring partially tore into his flesh ... Jeff Tantum can make some kick-ass duck sounds ... Ed Key has started an ass-picking craze among his many fans ... Dickie Delp confessed to eating part of a sandwich that was down Steve's shorts over the weekend - for a prize of $21 ... Speaking of Dickie, Mickey Mouse made an appearance on Dickie's shirt ... Scott Metcalfe has poison ivy ... Mike Capilo's elbow and shoulder hurt ... Rumor has it John Cressman has a big "thing." ... Tom Barzd put the top down on his car - hard to imagine why he hasn't gotten any takers for that thing yet ... Former Pennside stickball player Rob Dell'Elmo was 2-for-4 with a home run for Sottosanti.


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